2012 in Review – June

June was a slow month but it did have its good moments.  I did some campaigning in the eastern US and southeastern Canada.  Albee Thayer showed his ability to reach out to the zombie demographic.  I also received my first celebrity endorsement in a while.

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner caused controversy within his own party by endorsing Independent candidate Ahmnodt Heare for President.

June was a good month for campaigning in America but a bad month for campaigning in France and Germany.  Aside from confusing the last name of the President of France with a different European country, I also had problems with my laptop and phone.  The only person who was receiving my telepathic distress calls was a homeless man who was a Romney supporter.

June was also a good month for supporters to publicly show their vocal support like in the video below:

June did not end on a good note.  A heat wave in the east got to me, especially when I went to Washington DC to visit my daughter.  It was hot and humid, like something I never experienced living in DC before.

Advertisement

Rough Weekend

This was a rough weekend both personally and politically.  I am still feeling the ramifications of the personal disappointment and the political disappointment will be felt around the world for years to come.

I returned from Washington DC on Friday afternoon with my daughter.  Patricia woke me up early Saturday morning complaining that she was hot.  She was hot because the air conditioner crapped out.  I called my HVAC repairperson but his mother died and he has to go to Boston where his mother lived.

As if that wasn’t enough, my parents called and said they were without electricity and needed a place to stay.  I told them I had no A/C but I had electricity.  They have been here since Saturday.  This ended up working out because my parents can take Patricia to the pool while I work from home.

The political news was even worse.  Mexico had their elections over the weekend.  I had endorsed my Mexican counterpart Noes Toiaqui for President of Mexico, but she said the results were disastrous.  Enrique Peña Nieto won with 37% of the vote.  Ms. Toiaqui only had 34.  (34 votes, not 34%.)  She is currently gathering the voting data and she will be here later this week to look for a pattern to see what worked and what didn’t.  I am hoping there is something with the 34 votes that worked that can be applied to my campaign.  I am sure she can help me with what not to do based on the 70,000,000 Mexicans who voted for somebody else.

I am hoping I can an HVAC technician today.  Another heat wave is supposed to start tomorrow and my parents’ home might be without power until Friday.  What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger.  I’m going to look like I am on steroids by the end of the week.

Bad Day to Travel

Today starts the three-week stretch that I have my daughter.  I thought it was hot in New Jersey when I left this morning.  It was supposed to in the mid-90’s there.  That was tundra compared to the temperature in Washington DC this afternoon.  The air was so hot, it felt like smoking an ultra-light cigarette just breathing.  When I went to get the mail for my parents, I burned my fingertips opening up the mailbox.

My normal protocol is to spend the weekend at my parents and head home either Sunday night or Monday morning.  Not this time.  I headed out as soon as Patricia was dropped off at my parents’.  I left my car at my parents because of fears of overheating.  Patricia and I took a cab to the airport.  The cab had no air conditioning.  By the smell of the cab, the driver must have been driving all day.

I rented a car when I got to the airport.  (I rented the car at the airport because their cars are under canopies which at least offered shade.  All of those “It’s so hot (How hot is it?)” jokes were understatements.  My eyeballs were sweating!  It was hotter outside than it was in the sauna I relaxed in yesterday after my five laps in the hot tub.  It gets hot in DC, but this was brutal.  I don’t recall it ever getting this hot in DC before.  It got this hot when I lived in North Carolina, but it was in the country.  There wasn’t the bombardment of heat reflections from buildings and sidewalks.  There wasn’t the feeling that I was walking into a walking convection oven.  Patricia and I are in New Jersey in my condo.  It’s 83 degrees here, but I am shivering compared to what I went to today.

Today made me look at my platform on global warming.  There isn’t too much I can do about it right now since I do not have access to nuclear weapons to aim at the sun.  And I don’t have a snowball’s chance in DC of getting any.  The only thing I can do is not be so gung-ho on encouraging global warming in the winter when it is cold.  I can use some snow right about now.

Heat, Hacking, and Other Recent News

There’s been a lot of news recently.  Not all of it is good, but I have an attack plan.

Heat Wave – The eastern 2/3 of the United States is currently under a dangerous heat wave.  In the past, i would have said now is a good time to fight global warming.  After consulting meteorologists, people who work outdoors, and my psychic, I have determined that the best time to fight global warming is before it gets hot.   Likewise, the best time to encourage global warming is before it gets cold.

Hacking – Ruppert and James Murdoch of NewsCorp faced a parliamentary committee (It’s like a Congressional committee, except it has people with British accents).  Hacking is against my policy as is wiretapping.  Video cameras would only be used on the hottest women.  Nobody wants to see me wolf down a box of Ring Dings.

Migraines – Michele Bachmann has them.  Migraines should not be the reason why you don’t vote for her.  You shouldn’t vote for her because you are voting for me.

Debt Ceiling – I would lower it.  They say we can’t pay the national debt off.  That doesn’t mean wh shouldn’t at least try.   We need to find out why government is spending so much money and start pinching pennies.  It shouldn’t cost $3.4 trillion to run the United States.

 

Campaigning Schedule Postponed

Due to the excessive heat expected in the Northeastern United States this weekend, the campaign stops I had scheduled for this week is postponed until next weekend.  Temperatures in Philadelphia are supposed to reach near 100 degrees with the heat index approaching 110 degrees.  The weather is expected to be sunny with highs in the mid-to-upper 80s.

I will be heading to Rhode Island on Monday.  It appears that the oil spill will not being affecting Rhode Island after all, which means I am going to have to retrieve the boom I had lowered when I was there in early June.

Bad news:  The recession is now galaxy wide.  Darth Vader robbed a bank in Long Island.  He probably did it for his son, who is marrying a princess.  Weddings involving princesses are not cheap.  I will not chew more than I can carry.  While solving the economic woes throughout the galaxy is important, my main concern is solving the economic woes of the free world.  This will make it easier for aliens like Darth to find a job in the United States. (Providing that Darth is in the United States legally.)