Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

A Different Kind of Trade

Trades are commonplace in sports. Most trades involve one or more players for one or more players. Cash is sometimes involved in these trades. There are incidents when coaches are traded. Until now, these trades involved the same sport. My trade proposal involves the first intersport trade since the Montreal Canadiens acquired Youppi from the Montreal Expos.

My trade involves trading players from two different sports.  I would trade Washing Nationals outfielder Nyjer Morgan to the Pittsburgh Penguins for Sidney Crosby.  This trade benefits both teams.  The Penguins would acquire a speedy forward who can check and fight.

This video shows Nyjer Morgan’s checking ability with a catcher (who is wearing much more protection) and his ability to fight.  These skills are required in the NHL.

This video shows Sidney Crosby hitting a baseball out of PNC Park in Pittsburgh.  Crosby will be the perfect batter to protect Ryan Zimmerman and Adam Dunn in the lineup:

This trade will help two teams in two different sports.  Some of the best decisions are those made outside the box.

September 9, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on A Different Kind of Trade

My “Al Michaels Moment”

“Do you believe in miracles?…  YES!!” – Al Michaels

I didn’t get to watch the 1980 Olympic hockey game between the United States and the former Soviet Union.  I was in the first grade and had a strict bedtime of 8:00PM.  I had this bedtime until I graduated from high school, when my bedtime was moved up to 9:00. But I remember hearing my father tell me that we beat the Soviet Union the following morning.  I finally heard Al Michael’s quote just before the gold medal game between the United States and Finland, I got excited, as if I actually saw the entire game.

It would have been cool to watch that game.  The next best game would be to to find a game that Al Michael’s quote could be applied.  The game was between the Nationals and the New York Mets.  It shouldn’t have reached miracle status because rookie phenom  Stephen Strasburg was pitching against a 35-year knuckleballer R.A. Dickey.  One is a dominant pitcher with a 100 mile-per-hour fastball while the other throws a knuckleball in two speeds: slow and not-so-slow.

Strasburg didn’t have his best stuff today.  He allowed 2 runs on four hits along with three walks.  He would last only five innings and leave with the Nationals losing 2-0.  While Strasburg struggled, Dickey and his knuckleball breezed throw the first five innings and allowed only two singles.

The tide starting to turn a bit in favor of the Nationals.  The Nats’ bullpen held the Mets in check and the batters started getting to Dickey in the sixth inning, tying the game at 2.  The eighth inning was a nightmare.  Tyler Clippard pitched 2/3 of an inning.  In that short span, he allowed three runs on four hits.  Doug Slaten stopped the bleeding, but the damage was done.  The Mets lead 5-2.

The Nationals managed to manufacture a run in the bottom of the eighth and Matt Capps retired the Mets in order in the top of the ninth, making the score 5-3.  Then the miracle happened.  The Nats was facing the Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez.  The bases were quickly loaded when Adam Dunn tied the game with a double to deep center field that hit the tippy top of the fence.  Josh Willingham was walked intentionally to reload the bases for Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez.  Pudge blooped a single to right and the Nationals scored the winning run and won 6-5.

Why was this a miracle?  Because even with this win, the Nationals are in last place 12 1/2 games behind the Braves.  This is the first time inthe last 40 games the Nationals trailed after the eighth inning that they won.  My father was at the game and the Nationals never seem to win when my father goes to games.

“Do you believe in miracles?…  YES!!” – Ahmnodt Heare (via Al Michaels)

July 4, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A Hockey Endorsement

NHL All-Star and four-time U.S. Olympian Chris Chelios is the latest to endorse my campaign.  It is a tremendous honor to be endorsed by a future hall-of-famer and someone who has honored America by representing us in the Olympics, including being the team captain in 2006.

NHL Great and four-time Olympian Chris Chelios proudly endorses Ahmnodt Heare.

April 24, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, endorsement, humor, satire | , , , , , | 4 Comments

Rethinking my Foreign Policy

War with Iraq is wrong. We should be fighting Canada for allowing William Shatner and Celine Dion to infiltrate our country.

Here is the summary from that link:

  • Wars shall only be fought between 9:00AM and 5:00PM Mondays through Fridays.  This will allow our troops to come home for dinner every night and weekends.  It is important to keep morale high.  There will be no fighting on holidays (American or Canadian)
  • No bombing of hockey rinks, Tim Horton’s, or curling ponds.  We don’t hate Canadians, just the Canadian government, and specifically, those agencies responsible.
  • To show that the Canadians are willing to play fair, they have promised no arctic cold fronts during the summer.

Unfortunately, events have occurred in recent days that have made me think I should revise my foreign policy as it applies to Canada.  I have observed that Canadian people are having a hard time dealing with the fact that the USA hockey team beat their team at their national sport.  The people in Vancouver were booing their Canucks’ Ryan Kesler every time he touched the puck in today’s game between the United States and Switzerland.  They harassed supporters of my campaign when they held “Ahmnodt Heare for President” signs behind the Swiss penalty box.  Security confiscated the signs and escorted them out of the arena.

I have revised my policy as follows:

  • War will still be from 9-to-5.  But there will also be war on Saturdays.  There will be war on Canada Day and Boxing Day unless those days falls on a Sunday.
  • While the ban on bombing Tim Horton’s and hockey rinks are still in effect, the ban on Curling rinks will be lifted.  Curling is not a real sport.  If it was, Americans would have done well at the Olympics.
  • If these actions are not enough, I will sign an executive order forcing tropical warm fronts to invade Canada during outdoor hockey and curling tournaments.

I am a reasonable man.  I am sure we can work things out.

February 24, 2010 Posted by | campaign, Canada, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, satire, War | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What is in Store

It will be a busy week for me working this week.  Most of it is due to workload, but a portion of the time is because I will spend some time in Dixville Notch, NH campaigning.  For those of you not familiar with Dixville Notch, it is a small community in New Hampshire.  The residents there vote at Midnight on Election Day.  Soon after everybody is finished voting, the town sends out a press release with the results.  It is sometimes used as a barometer to fortell how the country is doing.  (Though it’s not always accurate as Libertarian Party candidate Harry Browne won Dixville Notch in 1996.

This week will probable be limited to snippets of replies to the events taking place this week.  (Some Olympics news and my reaction to them as well as the usual stuff going on in Washington.)

The good news isn’t just that the United States defeated Canada 5-3 in men’s hockey last night.  What is also good is that there doesn’t seem to be any Cinemafia spies masquerading themselves as referees or any other sporting event officials.  I would like to take a moment to thank Canada for keeping the games clean and not letting officiating affect the outcomes of games and events.

February 22, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, election, humor | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on What is in Store

The XXI Winter Olympiad

The opening of the Olympic Games starts tonight in Vancouver,  British Columbia.  Contrary to what you may think, I am wishing success in the Olympics.  Remember, it’s the Canadian government, not the Canadian people, who are responsible for the deterioration of American entertainment by allowing their spies William Shatner and Celine Dion to saturate the once excellent American entertainment industry.

Much is being said about the fact that there is no snow in Vancouver.  For those not familiar with Canadian climate, while most of Canada is known for cold and snowy winters, Vancouver gets little snow and usually has warmer winters than New York City.  This is because of its proximity to the Pacific Ocean, which brings warm winds to the North American coastline.  If you go an hour inland, you’ll get the cold and snow known as Canada.

Canada will probably win the most medals because they are home and have a lot of people who are used to brutal winters and are acclimated to winter sports.  They will not win the gold medal in Men’s Hockey though.  That distinction will go to the Russian team.  The Russians will win the gold because they have the most Washington Capitals on the team.  Alexander Ovechkin is the best player in hockey.  Alexander Semin will be a solid second-line player on a team filled with talent.  Semyon Varmalov is a better goalie than Jose Theodore (last night’s game against Ottawa excluded) and is capable of making big saves.  Evgeni Nabokov is one of the best goalies in the NHL and will be good enough to allow fewer goals than the Russians will score.

I am going to make 2010 the year I know what Curling is.

February 12, 2010 Posted by | Canada, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Ultimate Show of Support

On Monday, November 30, come join us at Madison Square Garden in New York City as the New York Rangers host the defending Stanley Cup Champions Pittsburgh Penguins.  We will try to get as many supporters as possible to show off our tattoos of support facing the rink.

Come to Madison Square Garden on November 30 and show your support for Independent Presidential Candidate Ahmnodt Heare!

Come to Madison Square Garden on November 30 and show your support for Independent Presidential Candidate Ahmnodt Heare!

Game time is 7:00PM.

October 2, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, endorsement, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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