Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My Favorite Thanksgiving (Repost)

This is a repost from November 25, 2010.

It was Thanksgiving of 1989.  A few things stood out about that Thanksgiving.  The first thing was the turkey we were supposed to have went bad.  The fowl was foul.  My mother sent me to the supermarket to get a turkey that wasn’t sour.

I had just gotten my license a few weeks earlier.  It was a good thing I had it because none of the supermarkets in the area had any turkeys left over.  It took me a while and a bit of driving to find a supermarket that still had turkeys twenty miles from my home.   The supermarket lines were crowded and it seemed to take forever to pay for the turkey.

I was heading home when the rear passenger tire went flat.  I had never changed a tire before and I soon realized that it would be a while longer before I would change a flat.  The car did not have a jack.  I frantically tried to wave somebody down who could help me.  A few people came over and wanted to help, but none of them had jacks either.  A policeman came over just before noon and was able to quickly change the tire.

Thanksgiving started to get good at noon as I was listening to the radio and was introduced to “Alice”s Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie.  The song is about twelve minutes long and is about two guys who had a worse Thanksgiving than I was having because they were in jail.

I soon arrived home to two very angry parents.  It took them a while for them to realize I wasn’t joyriding trying to avoid Thanksgiving.  Having turkey that day was out of the question because by the time the turkey was prepped and cooked, it would be after 8:00PM before we would eat.  We ended up having pancakes, eggs, bacon, and oatmeal.

There is something to be said for having breakfast as your Thanksgiving meal.  It’s amazing how much relieved people could be of stress once the tradition of a holiday is shot to Hell.  It isn’t the turkey or the football or the “Monk” marathons that make Thanksgiving.  It’s the people you are thankful for having in your life being in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

November 24, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How a Slow Day Goes

I am taking this week off for two reasons.  The first reason is because the week between Christmas and New Year’s is not very productive.  People tend to be recovering from one holiday and looking forward to the next holiday.   The second reason is because few clients are looking for marketing projects in this time period.

I am also limiting campaigning this week.  It seems I do my best campaigning when I am busy with other things and running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Below is my schedule for today:

8:00 – Wake up, shower, get dressed, and walk the dog.  – Self explanatory for most people. For those who need more of an explanation, I will videotape the last two things I do on the list. I can’t videotape myself showering for legal reasons and I can’t videotape myself waking up because by the time I get the video camera, I am already awake.
9:00 – Walk to Staples – Staples is about 4 miles from here so it will take me about three hours to get there. I’m not a fast walker and I like to absorb the scenery.
12:15 – Arrive at Staples – I took mental notes of things I need for my office, like pens, paper, printer paper, and popcorn. I will buy these items later in the week when I drive to the store. I did buy a new GPS system. The old GPS was old and outdated. It had things like “Oregon Territory” on it. The new one I have has roads and bridges on it. It also updates itself and offers where gas stations and restaurants are.
3:00 – Stopped in the diner for a sandwich and a coffee. It was a slow time at the diner so there was nobody to talk politics with. One thing I noticed is the cook who normally wears a New York Giants cap was wearing a New York Yankees cap instead today.
4:30 – Arrived home – installed the GPS in my car.
6:15 – Walked the dog – just in time too as he pooped just past the bottom step.
6:40 – started writing this blog entry and ordered pizza delivery. I don’t like too many toppings so I limit myself to pepperoni, sausage, meatball, anchovies, chocolate chips and extra cheese.
7:30 – “Wheel of Fortune” – as if you didn’t already know why.

8:00 – Monday Night Football – Vikings at Bears – I will root for Minnesota because I don’t like Jay Cutler.

11:45 (approx. after football) – read and answer fan e-mail.

11:46 – Bed

December 28, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Look at my Platform – Church and State

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on church and state.

I am for the separation of Church and State. If clergy were to become state employees, that would be yet another union that AFSCME would represent and soak taxpayers by demanding higher wages. They would all want Sundays off, which would close many houses of worship.

There has to be a separation between church and state.  If the church and the state become intertwined, then the clergy would end up being state employees and unionized.  This would lead to:

  • Paying clergy premium pay to work on Sunday.  Some churches are only opened on Sunday.  This will be costly for all churches.
  • Breaks in a middle of a sermon.  Not only would a clergy person not be allowed to preach during his or her break, but healing a parishioner during a clergy’s break would be strictly prohibited.
  • All religions have holidays.  These holidays would give all clergy holiday pay in addition to regular pay.  Sunday pay and holiday pay for clergy might compel places of worship to increase the tithe rate to 15 or 20%.
  • By combining church and state, churches would have to have services for all holidays and not just religious holidays.  Who wants to hear a sermon on Independence Day?
  • There will be a huge stigma placed on people who crosses a clergy’s picket line.  Striking clergy will also cause confusion among parishioners.  Will they follow their leader which the Bible says or will they go to church?

Keeping church and state separate  will make worship more affordable and less confusing for parishioners everywhere.

May 30, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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