Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

New York Campaign Stops

I will be hitting the road tomorrow and will be spending the weekend campaigning in the Lower Hudson Valley section (West of the Hudson).  Tomorrow night is technically not a campaign stop, but I will be attending a fundraiser for victims of spousal and parental abuse.  Spousal abuse is not one of those topics that is controversial.  People are either against it or they are the perpetrators.

Saturday morning will be spent at a street corner somewhere in Marlboro, NY where I will be unveiling my new contraception plan.  The Supreme Court recently ruled that Hobby Lobby (and other companies) are not obligated to provide medical coverage for contraception.  My plan is to have contraception drop-off sites and give the contraception to people who have been complaining about the ruling.  These people need contraception and we need to give them contraception because the last need we need is for these people reproducing.

There will be two stops on Saturday evening.  The first stop will be at the Hudson Water Club in West Haverstraw, NY.  I will give a speech on water pollution and how to clean up the Hudson River.  I will have the filter from my fish tank  ready as soon as I can find an extension cord to plug the filter so it can operate.  (There are no outlets in the Hudson River as far as I know.)  The second will be at the Lexington Bar and Grill in Bardonia.  I will either offer a sensible property tax plan or I will offer advice on how to move out of the area.  What I speak about depends on the mood of the crowd.  If they start lighting torches and moving towards me, I will change the subject.

I will be in Nanuet on Sunday morning, but only to pick up the world famous rolls from Rockland Bakery.  They deliver rolls from New England to Delaware.  My campaign manager swears by them, so I will do him a favor and pick him up some rolls.

July 17, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on New York Campaign Stops

New York Campaign

I haven’t been on the campaign trail too much since Election Day, but a couple of events are happening near each other this weekend.  I decided to head to upstate New York and do some campaigning.

Today:   I will be at SUNY – New Paltz giving a speech on my education policy.  I think the professors will be as interested as the students.

Tomorrow:  “Save the Dolphins” rally in Poughkeepsie.  I don’t know how I am going to break it to the people who invited to the rally.  Dolphins do not go that high up the Hudson River.  I will sugest having future meetings in Miami or somewhere near where the dolphins are.

Saturday:  I will be giving a speech on global warming to the Polar Bear Club in Kingston, NY.  They will like my plan to encourage global warming in the winter.

Sunday:  Newburgh, NY will be the final spot of the campaign. I don’t know what is happening there, but I will think of a crisis that will make people think of Newburgh.

I hope to see you out on the campaign trail!

February 26, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, environment, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Heading to New York City

I have just finished reading a story about Sewer Alligators and decided I must act now.  First it was the humpback dolphins, now this fiasco with the Sewer Alligators.

Sewer Alligators are important to the ecosystem.  They eat the feces and other waste materials that would otherwies be dumped into the Hudson River.

Critics say that the Sewer Alligator is dangerous.  They are only dangerous if taken out of their natural environment and forced to be fed like a Florida Aligator.  Most of these critics know little or nothing about animals and their natural habitat.

I will be in New York City first thing tomorrow morning.  I will put an end to this henious act.

November 19, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, issues, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment


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