Just When We Thought I Was Done

I spent New Year’s Eve at a nearby bar hoping to ring in 2014 like many other people.  The gameplan was to have a few drinks, watch the ball drop, use the men’s room and steal borrow a roll of toilet paper, and go home and sleep.  It didn’t quite go like that.

The bar was quite sparse when I was ready to ring in the New Year at 10:00AM.  I’m drinking my usual Shirley-Temple-with-a-whiskey-sour-chaser when two couples walked into the bar and sat a few stools from me.  They were quite loud, especially when it came to talking about politics.

The taller of the gentleman seemed to be smart.  He was talking about the problems with the Affordable Health Care Act that nobody else seemed to be talking about.  He mentioned that insurance might be lower for some, but having insurance was no guarantee that a given claim will be processed in the claimant’s favor. Even if the claim was accepted, most insurance policies only cover 80% of the cost of the procedure, leaving 20% to the claimant.  If a patient is going to require an extended hospital stay, he or she will still have to pay over $10,000 after the insurance pays for its portion.

The tall guy starts yelling at the other couple because they voted for Barack Obama.  He then went into a rant about there being only one candidate worth voting for and he quit.  He then explained to them about my “Apple-a-Day” health care plan and my plan to save the humpback dolphins in Lake Michigan.

I was fortunate that he did not recognize me.  I did not quit running for President; I suspended my campaign until I had the time to straighten out the personal matters in my life.  (Or until people started getting furious that I wasn’t out there campaigning.)  The good news is that I have resumed campaigning and will be making campaign stops soon.  I’ll have to put my personal life on hold (which I will do as soon as I remember to buy the batteries for my father’s “Life Alert” button.

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Heading to New York City

I have just finished reading a story about Sewer Alligators and decided I must act now.  First it was the humpback dolphins, now this fiasco with the Sewer Alligators.

Sewer Alligators are important to the ecosystem.  They eat the feces and other waste materials that would otherwies be dumped into the Hudson River.

Critics say that the Sewer Alligator is dangerous.  They are only dangerous if taken out of their natural environment and forced to be fed like a Florida Aligator.  Most of these critics know little or nothing about animals and their natural habitat.

I will be in New York City first thing tomorrow morning.  I will put an end to this henious act.