While I Was Away

If you happened to be in southern Delaware or in Salisbury, MD over the weekend and wondered if that was me campaigning, the answer was yes it was.  There was a lot going on in the last month that kept me occupied.

The “Move and Un-Move”:  I had to make two trips to my new place in Delaware because the only truck I could rent that weekend was a small box truck.  I arrived at the house I was supposed to move to only to find that the house was still occupied.  The people who still live there are waiting for the people who are in the house they had bought to be evicted.

“Jury Duty” – I was stuck on jury duty for two weeks.  I was an alternate juror in an embezzlement trial and had to sit through the entire trial though I didn’t get to vote on the guilt of the defendant.  (He was found guilty.  If I was guilty, I would have been a lost guilty.)

“Witness” – The week after that trial, I returned to the court as a witness for a defendant in a civil trial.  My testimony wasn’t enough as he lost his shirt (and his house, his car, his boat, and his next of kin.)

I have spent the last couple weeks working for my neighbor’s landscaping business.  I haven’t done any landscaping since I first ran for President in 2008.  I will continue to work in landscaping until I am finally able to move.

My supporters should be relieved to know that the IRS hasn’t been targeting my supporters (yet) except for those who have joined a tea party or patriot group.  Despite recent calls from people, President Obama will not be impeached for Benghazi-Gate.  It would lead to an open season to impeach any president whose policies differ than those wishing to impeach.  Nothing will get done in Washington (aside from the Congressional pay raise and the occasional tax increase).

I am still sitting in New Jersey waiting for the word to move.  My boxes are packed and are waiting to be loaded in a truck and get hauled to Delaware.  It can’t happen soon enough.

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Impeach Mark Sanford!

I rarely call for an elected official to be impeached, but the situation surrounding South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford warrant such a proceeding.  I am not going to call for an impeachment over an affair.  Elected officials are often tempted by hotties.  I cannot guarantee at this time that I wouldn’t be tempted if I was an elected official.

The reason why I am calling for Mark Sanford to be impeached is because of all of those trips to Argentina.  It is difficult if not impossible to govern a state while in a foreign country.  If I am elected President, I vow to minimize my trips oversees and to frequent only American brothels.

The people of South Carolina deserve a governor who does not mind living in South Carolina.  Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot be the governor of all 50 states.

The Illinois Senate Prefers The Way I Treat Seniors

I will take Rod Blagojevich at his word.  I will assume his innocence.   I believe Blagojevich when he said he was impeached for helping seniors.  Here is my take on the situation:

Rod Balgojevich circumvented the Illinois House and Senate in making drugs affordable for seniors.  He got those drugs from Canada.  The House and Senate were mad (as was I) that he was able to get drugs from Canada, but was unable to deport Canadians posed as “entertainers.”

I am sure the Illinois legislature would have been behind my “Affordable Food for Seniors” plan.  They might have been supportive of Blagojevich’s drug plan if it meant that Celine Dion would limit her concerts to the Holiday Inn lounges in Nova Scotia.