Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I still have to mud through some mud, but I will be in full campaign mode by mid-May.  You will know I am back in stride when the following happen:

  • I’m back to blogging every day and not on days that end with “day.”  
  • My podcast will be back on a weekly basis.
  • I will be interviewed by either Rachel Maddow or that guy with a nervous twitch.

There are some things I have to finalize before I can move.  It did not help that I had the bubonic  plague a severe lung infection or the last two weeks.  Another recent development is that the move to Maryland is now the move to Delaware.

I will try my darndest in the meantime to chime in when relevant news happens and when I have a free moment.  My return is inevitable.  My return is soon.

March 29, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, humor, Personal Life | , , , , , | 5 Comments

How I Would Have Handled the Secret Service Incident

I didn’t want to comment on the Secret Service’s problem in Colombia last week because as far as I can see it, they did nothing illegal.  The only thing they were guilty of was not paying enough for services rendered.  Prostitution is legal in Colombia and the President was not in Colombia for the summit yet.  President Obama was not harmed in any way and it seems that his safety was never in question.  Below is how I would have handled the situation:

  • I would have met with the supervisors responsible.  I would ask them their side of the story.  Since my safety was never compromised and there are bigger issues the media needs to be covering, I would have paid the difference.  These men and women risk their lives to protect mine.  I would cover their backs and not let them hang out to dry.
  • I would interview each member involved in the incident.  I would ask the same questions a consumer would ask when about to pay for a service.  The vetting process should not be limited to high positions in government.  Those who work on a job-by-job basis also need to be vetted.
  • The secret service agents involved would then see a physician.  They would undergo the testing needed to make sure they did not come down with a venereal disease.  Those who had infected the agents would be disqualified from performing their duties on the President of the United States.

On the scale of things that are going wrong in Washington and in government, this is pretty low.  There are bigger problems that need to be fixed and I intend to fix them as President.

April 20, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Karma

I have never been someone who retaliates or seeks revenge when someone does wrong to me.  Karma has a way of treating people in ways I can’t.  It also has a way of treating me better than most people can when I do an unexpected favor.  If you read my blog entry last week, I defended Mitt Romney and his tax returns.  He gave me a shoutout the  other day during an interview,  He knows that I care about poor people and he wanted the people watching the interview to know that.

Thank you, Governor Romney for the kind words and for getting the word out about my campaign.  It is very much appreciated.

Today was laundry day at the laundromat.  An elderly couple came to the laundromat with a lot of clothes that needed washing.  I held the door open for them.  As I was closing a door, a car slammed into the back of my car and drove off.  (This isn’t a good example of karma, but a good example of “No good deed goes unpunished.”)

No real campaigning is planned for this weekend.  It’s Super Bowl weekend and people are getting overly-hyped about the game, I live in New Jersey, about 50 minutes from MetLife Stadium, home of the Jets and one of the teams going to the Super Bowl.  I won’t mention the team, but will console in the fact that my Redskins beat them TWICE this season.  🙂

February 3, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, Personal Life, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Inside the Mind of a Supporter

It is important for me to understand people.  One tool I use to find new supporters is to interview current supporters and find out why they support me.  I can then use this information and reach out to prospective supporters.  This interview is with Scholar Mel.  He is currently an ex-pat living in Germany.  Prior to that, he was a pat living in the United States.

Ahmnodt Heare: Scholar Mel, tell me a bit about yourself.

Scholar Mel: Well I’m a teenage girl in my last year of high school and I’m looking forward to applying to college and deciding where to go in the fall.

Ahmnodt Heare: Why do you support Ahmnodt Heare to be the next president?

Scholar Mel: Because it’s beautiful.

Ahmnodt Heare: I understand you are currently living in Germany, Why is that?

Scholar Mel: No I am not, I am asking you what the number 42 means.

Ahmnodt Heare: The number 42 was the number worn by Jackie Robinson. It is retired from baseball, but it is you being interviewed.

Scholar Mel: That is also off topic, but I’ll let this one slip because I think it is an interesting concept.

Ahmnodt Heare: Do you think Ahmnodt Heare can undo the damage done by recent politicians?

Scholar Mel: Yes, why wouldn’t you be able to?

Ahmnodt Heare: Do you plan to return to America soon?

Scholar Mel: Maybe, would you like to help me?

Ahmnodt Heare: What kind of help do you need?

Scholar Mel: I need help, to help you.

Ahmnodt Heare: I’ll have my people contact you as soon as I have people.

Scholar Mel: That sound like a good plan.

Ahmnodt Heare: How do you think the German government will relate to an Ahmnodt Heare presidency?

Scholar Mel: Good, he is owsom.

Ahmnodt Heare: Thank you for stopping by. You can go back to what you were doing.

Scholar Mel: Up to no good?

Ahmnodt Heare: Probably.

Scholar Mel: What? Do you want it to end?

Ahmnodt Heare: I have to go campaign and stuff.

Scholar Mel: Where are you going?

Ahmnodt Heare: A few towns near me in New Jersey.

Scholar Mel: Isn’t it a little early in the year for snow in New Jersey?

Ahmnodt Heare: Have a good day.

Scholar Mel: You leaving?

Ahmnodt Heare: Yes.

Scholar Mel: Why?

Ahmnodt Heare: Bye.

Scholar Mel: I like you though.

Ahmnodt Heare: Thank you, but I am now running late. Bye!

Scholar Mel: Yay! :D.

He’s a nice fellow, but had a hard time understanding that I had to leave.  I have learned from him (or is it her?) that I can win voters with my beauty.

This ought to win the people over.

This interview was conducted with Cleverbot.

July 30, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, endorsement, humor, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

Staying by the Phone

I will be by my phone and computer today.  After being mentioned on The Larry King Show last night, I figure the rest of the media will be more interested in my campaign.  I will accommodate the media and stay by the phone and computer today.  This will allow them instant access to set up interviews without playing the annoying game of “Voice Mail Tag.”  I will also be checking my e-mail frequently for those who wish to communicate by electronic mail.  Due to the demands I am currently facing, I will be unable to be reached telepathically today.

March 19, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, humor, media, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Staying by the Phone

A Day of Campaigning

I have decided to take people inside what a day of campaigning is like for me.  The following occurred Friday 1, 2009:

6:00AM – Wake up, turn the alarm off, do the three “S’s”,  make coffee, grits, and toast.  Watch local news and jot stuff down.

7:00AM – Watch “Good Morning American” until it gets geared towards topics for women.  Get dressed.  Watch “Fox and Friends” until 8:00.

8:00 – Get on the internet, read and reply to e-mail, check blog replies, go on YoVille and get coins for hanging out with friends.  Read various news websites like Drudge, CNN.com, Wall Street Journal, and The Onion.

9:00 – Call radio station for scheduled 9:07 interview.  Gets canceled due to around-the-clock coverage of the “Swine Flu”.  No reschedule as of yet.

9:10 – Head to local diner to discuss issues with patrons and staff (when the owner wasn’t watching).  People were more concerned with the economy and jobs than they were about the Swine Flu or even the CineMafia.

10:00 – Go to the library and do research on various topics for future speeches.  The topics I can’t find at the library I can usually find at the adult book store down the street.

12:00 – Home for lunch: Macaroni and Cheese and two hot dogs.  Watch the news networks.  Send out e-mails to various media outlets explaining my availability for interviews.  Call mother and Grandma Oudda and find out how they’re doing.

1:00 – Check on business – call clients and make sure they are happy with previous efforts and remind them of my future availability.  Work on some work-related projects.

3:00 – Interviewed by a Dutch political website for their “foreign affairs” section.  They seemed confused that I didn’t vote for Obama or McCain and did not understand that I ran for president in 2008 and voted for myself.

4:00 – Oprah!  I can’t miss Oprah.  Especially in May.  May “Sweeps Months” brings out the “Very Special” Oprah shows and I do not want to miss those!

5:00 – Walk around the neighborhood.  This is my exercise for the day.  It also clears my mind.

5:30 – check e-mails and voice mail.  Respond to those I can.  Skim Drudge and Weekly World News.

6:00 – Dinner – Burgers on the grill, corn on the cob, and green beans.

7:00 – Take cab to Veterans’ Lodge – read speech and make last minute revisions.  Rehearse speech for rest of hour once I arrive.

8:00 – Speeches:  I am the third speaker of the evening.  The first two speeches were about veterans’ benefits.  I got up and before I got to speak, this grizzly looking Vietnam Vet looked at me like I farted on his mama.  The people didn’t like my “Culture War” speech at first, but once I explained to them how it affected their well-being and their lives, they became very accepting.  Even the grizzly guy seemed to agree with me.  Received a warm ovation and hung out to listen to the rest of the speeches.

9:30 – Take cab home.  Check e-mail, blog, voice mail, and social networking websites. Correspond accordingly to all of the above.

10:15 – Work on speeches, editorials, blog, and book.  Check schedule for future events.

12:00 – Bed

May 2, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, health care, issues, politics, satire, speech | , , , , | 1 Comment

Possibly Related (Auto Generated)

Bettie Page was a pinup model in the 1950’s.  She is now in a coma following a heart attack.  The only reason why I know this is because WordPress auto-generated that particular post to an interview I had in October.

For the most part, the auto-generated posts are related though my postings tend to look at things a little differently.  The two posts have nothing in common.

I am posting the address where you can send get-well wishes to Ms. Page.

Bettie Page
c/o CMG Worldwide
9229 West Sunset Boulevard
Suite 820
West Hollywood, CA 90069 USA

May Bettie recover soon.

December 12, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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