Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Erin Go Braghless!

I had to return early from a night of partying at Conway’s in Dublin.  I ran into a few Americans here, including the police officer who arrested me last year.  The Irish love to party, but they hate snakes.  I think I got in a bit of trouble with the Irish when they asked me about Northern Ireland.  The conversation went like this:  (My responses are in italics.)

“What do you think about Northern Ireland?”

What about Northern Ireland?”

“The British occupation of Northern Ireland?”

If the British occupy Northern Ireland, then I’m afraid I can’t campaign there.

“What?”

I am running for leader of the free world, not for leader of an occupied land.”

The man dumped his ale on my head and stormed out.  I guess he was from Northern Ireland.  People he was talking with were giving me a strange look.  I figured I had to leave and start planning for the walk-a-thon in Liechtenstein tomorrow.  I will evaluate Northern Ireland tomorrow.



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March 17, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, foreign policy, issues, satire | , , , | 2 Comments

My 2009 Campaign Strategy

My plan for 2009 is to target the four largest states, all of the three electoral vote states, and Rhode Island (Because it is a small state).

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The four large states total 147 electoral votes.  The three-electoral votes total 24 electoral votes.  Rhode Island has 4 electoral votes.  Winning these states will give me 175 electoral votes.  This is 95 votes short of victory, but it is a start.

I will resume campaigning in England, Scotland, and Ireland in March.  I have added Australia to the campaign trail and will campaign there in April.

Some of my critics complain that foreigners can not vote for President of the United States.  I remind those critics that the President of the United States is also leader of the free world.  I will make sure their voices are heard.

November 22, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, foreign policy, issues, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Ahmnodt More Popular than Jesus

According to a recent Wellington Poll, Ahmnodt Heare would win in a race for president against fellow Independent Jesus Romero de Caballo.

Heare – 53%

Romero de Caballo – 47%

Although Romero de Caballo holds a 57-43% edge among traditional voters, Heare has an overwhelming edge among the deceased, people living in England, Ireland, and Luxembourg, as well as those planning to vote more than once.

March 11, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Poll, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Comments Off on Ahmnodt More Popular than Jesus

   

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