Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Problems Abroad

Ahmnodt Heare is currently campaigning in Paris.  He sent me a text message saying that his laptop is fried because the voltage converter he used for using his laptop in Europe is broken.  He can’t post blog entries or on Facebook because he doesn’t have a smartphone.  He says his phone is really rather dumb.

Ahmnodt was a bit lost when he first arrived in Paris.  The name of the new President of France, Francois Hollande, threw him off and he thought he was in the Netherlands.  Soon, he realized that more people were speaking French than during his last visit to Amsterdam.  He thought the “e” in “Hollande” was just a result of poor European spelling.

I called him at his hotel this morning.  He said that he was able to draw large crowds, but that there were some problems with translation.  People were baffled about the “Cinemafia” because there is no French equivalent.  He thinks they interpreted the word as “SinnerMafia”, which threw them off.

People also thought he was running for the President of France.  They had their election last month and Hollande beat former President Nicolas Sarkozy.  They were perplexed as to why an American candidate would campaign in Paris.  He explained that he was running for President of the Free World and was encouraging the French to write Hillary Clinton and demand that they be allowed to vote for Leader of the Free World.  They seemed to like that idea but didn’t seem willing to vote for an American as Leader of the Free World.

One Parisian walked up to him and said that they would consider voting for him as leader of the Free World if he had New York Red Bulls soccer player Theirry Henry as a running mate.   He said he already had a running mate (Thank you for remembering me, Ahmnodt) but there was an opening in the cabinet for Department of Health and Human Services now that Jack Kevorkian was deceased.

He will be spending the rest of the night in Paris before heading to Berlin tomorrow.  He said that he will now remember that Angela Merkel’s name is not “Andrea”.  It cost him in German popularity the last time.

June 9, 2012 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, election, foreign policy, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Revised Picks for Cabinet

NOTE: Some are left blank.   Some revisions have been made since my original picks.  Be sure to check this page often as I fill my cabinet.

President: Ahmnodt Heare

Vice-President: Pamela Villars

Secretary of State: David _______

Chief of Staff: Claire Collins

Press Secretary: “Gryphon” Aerie

Secretary of Commerce: Oprah Winfrey

Secretary of the Interior: Martha Stewart

Secretary of Energy: Matthew Lesko

Secretary of Defense: Mike Singletary

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Jack Kevorkian

Secretary of Education: George W. Bush

Secretary of the Treasury: Dennis Kozlowski

I would also make picks in the following:

Federal Reserve Chair: Bernie Madoff

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations : Alex Jones

U.S. Ambassador to France: Mike Lansing

NBA Commissioner: Isiah Thomas

Note:  Offices and Prospects in italics were added on February 4, 2010.

September 8, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

What My Cabinet Would Look Like

NOTE: Some are left blank. Be sure to check this page often as I fill my cabinet.

President: Ahmnodt Heare

Vice-President: Peasant Tim

Secretary of State: Oprah Winfrey

Chief of Staff: Olivia Wilder

Press Secretary: Tim Sharpe

Secretary of Commerce:  Paris Hilton

Secretary of the Interior: Martha Stewart

Secretary of Energy: Matthew Lesko

Secretary of Defense: Mike Singletary

Secretary of Health and Human Services:  Dr. Jack Kevorkian

Secretary of Education: George W. Bush

Secretary of the Treasury: Dennis Kozlowski

October 9, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, satire, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

   

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