Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Just When We Thought I Was Done

I spent New Year’s Eve at a nearby bar hoping to ring in 2014 like many other people.  The gameplan was to have a few drinks, watch the ball drop, use the men’s room and steal borrow a roll of toilet paper, and go home and sleep.  It didn’t quite go like that.

The bar was quite sparse when I was ready to ring in the New Year at 10:00AM.  I’m drinking my usual Shirley-Temple-with-a-whiskey-sour-chaser when two couples walked into the bar and sat a few stools from me.  They were quite loud, especially when it came to talking about politics.

The taller of the gentleman seemed to be smart.  He was talking about the problems with the Affordable Health Care Act that nobody else seemed to be talking about.  He mentioned that insurance might be lower for some, but having insurance was no guarantee that a given claim will be processed in the claimant’s favor. Even if the claim was accepted, most insurance policies only cover 80% of the cost of the procedure, leaving 20% to the claimant.  If a patient is going to require an extended hospital stay, he or she will still have to pay over $10,000 after the insurance pays for its portion.

The tall guy starts yelling at the other couple because they voted for Barack Obama.  He then went into a rant about there being only one candidate worth voting for and he quit.  He then explained to them about my “Apple-a-Day” health care plan and my plan to save the humpback dolphins in Lake Michigan.

I was fortunate that he did not recognize me.  I did not quit running for President; I suspended my campaign until I had the time to straighten out the personal matters in my life.  (Or until people started getting furious that I wasn’t out there campaigning.)  The good news is that I have resumed campaigning and will be making campaign stops soon.  I’ll have to put my personal life on hold (which I will do as soon as I remember to buy the batteries for my father’s “Life Alert” button.

January 2, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, health care, humor, Obama, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Just When We Thought I Was Done

My Predictament

Here is my problem:  I need more coverage from the mainstream media.  Right now, the only way it looks like that will happen is if people get tired of both the Democrats and the Republicans.  The most likely scenario for that happening is if the United States starts falling apart or if things get worse.

I would like to get the coverage without having to hope my country falls apart due to a weak Dollar or an overflow of Canadians.  I would also like to get coverage without swimming across Lake Michigan naked.

Then there is the “break-a-record” recognition.  The problem with that approach is that it is either too time consuming, too much of a risk of bodily injury, or both.  I like my body so much, I added 50 pounds to it to show people just how much I like my body.

I will try to find a way to get coverage for my campaign.  If you know a way that I did not mention, please leave a comment and let me known.  Otherwise, I might break the record for being the least recognizable candidate for President.

December 11, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, election, humor, media, satire | , , | 2 Comments

It’s Worse than I Thought!

I went to Lake Michigan yesterday by the oil spill that ruined the habitat of the humpback dolphin population.  Much to my horror, there were no humpback dolphins anywhere.  Continue reading

June 6, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, issues, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Save the Humpback Dolphins!

As mentioned in the radio ad, I promised Tim that I would look into the oil spill in Lake Michigan that caused considerable damage to the humpback dolphin population.  I will also travel to Wisconsin to check on the children poisoned by contaminated humpback dolphin meat served in school cafeterias.  I am heading there today by car and will be in Michigan tomorrow afternoon and Wisconsin on Friday.

I will take the oil Tim has cleaned up since my last visit as well as any uncontaminated Humpback Dolphin meat to Washington.  I will discuss the matter at an impromptu meetings with  congresspeople who  like  Humpback Dolphin meat.    It is a delicacy in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Mongolia.

Next week, I will travel to Arizona and look into the situation concerning the crying hyenas.

June 4, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, issues, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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