Problems Abroad
Ahmnodt Heare is currently campaigning in Paris. He sent me a text message saying that his laptop is fried because the voltage converter he used for using his laptop in Europe is broken. He can’t post blog entries or on Facebook because he doesn’t have a smartphone. He says his phone is really rather dumb.
Ahmnodt was a bit lost when he first arrived in Paris. The name of the new President of France, Francois Hollande, threw him off and he thought he was in the Netherlands. Soon, he realized that more people were speaking French than during his last visit to Amsterdam. He thought the “e” in “Hollande” was just a result of poor European spelling.
I called him at his hotel this morning. He said that he was able to draw large crowds, but that there were some problems with translation. People were baffled about the “Cinemafia” because there is no French equivalent. He thinks they interpreted the word as “SinnerMafia”, which threw them off.
People also thought he was running for the President of France. They had their election last month and Hollande beat former President Nicolas Sarkozy. They were perplexed as to why an American candidate would campaign in Paris. He explained that he was running for President of the Free World and was encouraging the French to write Hillary Clinton and demand that they be allowed to vote for Leader of the Free World. They seemed to like that idea but didn’t seem willing to vote for an American as Leader of the Free World.
One Parisian walked up to him and said that they would consider voting for him as leader of the Free World if he had New York Red Bulls soccer player Theirry Henry as a running mate. He said he already had a running mate (Thank you for remembering me, Ahmnodt) but there was an opening in the cabinet for Department of Health and Human Services now that Jack Kevorkian was deceased.
He will be spending the rest of the night in Paris before heading to Berlin tomorrow. He said that he will now remember that Angela Merkel’s name is not “Andrea”. It cost him in German popularity the last time.
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 