Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Stay-at-Home Moms

There has been a lot of hoopla over the comments Democratic Party strategist Hilary Rosen said about women who opt to stay at home to raise their children over getting a job and placing their children in day care.  I would like to say that there is nothing harder than being a stay-at-home mom.

I am not a mother, but I am a single father.  Though I do not have full custody of my daughter, I do have custody every other weekend and for a good portion of the summer.  It is difficult to raise a child and clean a house and run a business from my home.  It’s even more difficult adding “running for president” to the mix.

Most stay-at-home mothers do not run a business out of their home, but that doesn’t mean their day is easy.  Mothers never have a sick day.  They’re doing laundry, cleaning dishes, dusting, vacuuming, making beds, and other chores while having children to deal with.  Mothers prepare their meals, change their diapers, and explain to children that the mailman is “just a friend” who needs to lay down on her bed but hates to lay down alone.  The worst part is that they do not get a salary for all the work they do.  (They don’t even get a tip from the mailman.)

Before you decide to criticize women who choose to stay at home and raise their children, spend some time as a stay-at-home mom.  Now try it when you’re sick, have a headache, or are nursing an injury.  Do all of that and keep in mind that the best television has to offer during the workday is “Jerry Springer” and “The View.”

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April 13, 2012 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Karma

I have never been someone who retaliates or seeks revenge when someone does wrong to me.  Karma has a way of treating people in ways I can’t.  It also has a way of treating me better than most people can when I do an unexpected favor.  If you read my blog entry last week, I defended Mitt Romney and his tax returns.  He gave me a shoutout the  other day during an interview,  He knows that I care about poor people and he wanted the people watching the interview to know that.

Thank you, Governor Romney for the kind words and for getting the word out about my campaign.  It is very much appreciated.

Today was laundry day at the laundromat.  An elderly couple came to the laundromat with a lot of clothes that needed washing.  I held the door open for them.  As I was closing a door, a car slammed into the back of my car and drove off.  (This isn’t a good example of karma, but a good example of “No good deed goes unpunished.”)

No real campaigning is planned for this weekend.  It’s Super Bowl weekend and people are getting overly-hyped about the game, I live in New Jersey, about 50 minutes from MetLife Stadium, home of the Jets and one of the teams going to the Super Bowl.  I won’t mention the team, but will console in the fact that my Redskins beat them TWICE this season.  🙂

February 3, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, Personal Life, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What a Week!

It was actually only three days but it felt like a week.  The number one thing one is supposed to do after a heart attack or an injury is rest.  Somebody forgot to tell my parents.  The only thing I was able to do was shovel the snow the “Ahmnodt Way.”  That means shoveling the sidewalk and driveway and the perimeter around them.  The rule I use for the perimeter is this:  A length of the shovel plus the depth of the snow.  This is done to prevent the snowmelt from hitting the sidewalk or driveway, only to have it refreeze.

My father:  He wasn’t home from the hospital for more than one hour when he decided he had to fix the satellite receiver on top of the roof.  I told him I would do it, but he didn’t want to hear it.

My mother:  While I was arguing with my father, my mother was hobbling while lugging a basket full of dirty clothes to the laundry room.  She was also reaching for things like bowls while on her tippy-toes.

No matter how hard I tried to get them to relax, it was no use.  They don’t know how to relax.  All the pleading, begging, and bribing them to relax did not help.  To add insult to injury (pardon the pun), they did not return the bribe money.

I have given up and have headed home with my daughter for the weekend.  I’ll check on them tomorrow when I bring Patricia home.  Raising parents is tough!

February 12, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life | , , , , | 4 Comments

Laundromat Blues

The biggest difference between my last house the house I currently own is that the that my current house does not have a setup for a washer and dryer (nor do I have the room for one.)  This means I do my laundry at the local laundromat.  The laundromat is in the middle of nowhere and the nearest bar is a mile past the police station.

The washers and dryers are quite old.  The only new parts of the machines are the mechanisms that collect money.  Most of the washing machines either do not have water coming out or do not spin.  A good portion of the dryers have no heat.

The people who frequent the laundromat leave much to be desired.  I am not just saying that because none of the patrons voted for me in 2008.  Not only were not any hotties, there weren’t many lukewarmies.  Even if the laundromat had a bar, I wouldn’t be approaching most of the women.  The women are closer to human than the men are.  The “groomed” men looked like they were extras in “Deliverance.”  I called the police about a creature I saw in there the last time I had to do laundry, but it turned out he is the cook at the local diner.

I combined the clothes from the machine that didn’t have a spin cycle with the clothes from the machine that didn’t have a wash cycle and threw them into dryers that didn’t have heat.  A half hour later I had wet, dirty clothes.  The clothes had to be washed by hand when I got home.  There are clothes drying all over my house.  There is clothing draped over every chair, the shower rod, the towel rack, toilet tank, entertainment unit, television, refrigerator, and kitchen cabinet.  I am hoping the clothes will be dried by tomorrow.

December 9, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Down Time

I am taking a few days off to take care of stuff.  I have some work, laundry, and people to hide from before I hit the campaign trail.  My next post will be either sometime Saturday or Sunday evening when I return from Delaware.

If you need a reminder of when I return blogging, leave a comment below and I will send a reminder that I have returned when I return.

July 22, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor | , , , | 1 Comment

A Look at my Platform – Senior Citizens

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on senior citizens.

Seniors should be allowed to eat healthier than Social Security allows. My plan for them would allow them to buy premium dog food at generic dog food prices.

*I have been following the trials and tribulations of one Donald Mills.  He thinks that many of the social ills are the fault of “young people.”  I don’t think that young people are the cause of today’s problems, but I can see where Mr. Mills is bothered with young people.   As a young man (compared to Mr. Mills), I am offering a set of programs aimed at helping senior citizens.

  • Premium dog food at generic dog food prices:  This will allow seniors to get high quality food without busting their budgets.  As the economy gets worse, many seniors will look to dog food as a form of nourishment.
  • My plan will give every senior citizen a food processor as part of my health care plan:  Apples are an important part of staying healthy, but many old people wear dentures.  The food processor will allow them to make apple sauce and apple juice, neither of which require teeth.
  • “All-in-One” Senior Citizens Centers:  This plan will allow seniors to get denture cream and incontinence products  at the same place they play Bingo.  Doctors’ offices and a pharmacy will also be here as well as a place to buy milk, eggs, bread, and dog food.  Time will be saved traveling and it will give seniors more time to nap.
  • Laundry:  Seniors will be able to get lemon scented laundry detergent for the same price as unscented detergent.  This will get the “old people” smell out of their clothes and help foster relationships with the visually impaired.

As much as I want to help the seniors with these programs, none of them will get enacted unless I am elected president.  This is where I need your help.  If you are having problems with your memory, send me an e-mail and I will remind you to vote for me when it is time to vote.  Thank you for your consideration.

* – Originally appeared on May 16, 2009.  I reposted this entry because I wanted to keep all of the platform entries together.

May 29, 2009 Posted by | campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, Platform, satire, senior citizens | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Look at my Platform – Women’s Rights

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on women’s rights.

Women have the fundamental right to use the utensils of their choice when cooking my dinner. Nobody shall infringe on a woman’s right to use the vacuum cleaner of her choice when cleaning my house.

If there is anything I cannot stand is a male chauvinist pig.  Men have no business telling women what cooking utensils to use when cooking dinner, which vacuum cleaner to use when vacuuming the carpets, which laundry detergent to use when washing a man’s clothes, or the floor cleaner she used when scrubbing his floors.  This is just wrong.  Women know how to clean and do not need interference from men when they are cleaning a man’s home.

Women are almost as important as men are and it is about time women are treated that way.

May 26, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

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