Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Capitals Eliminated and Contrasting Them to Me

Last night’s game between the Capitals and the Montreal Canadiens was the most painful experience since “Small Wonder” was cancelled.  The Capitals had the best record in hockey with a 54-15-13 record and 121 points.  They had home ice advantage throughout the playoffs.  They blew it.  Big time.

The Capitals and I contrast in many ways even though they have been my favorite team since seeing them play in Landover, MD as a child.

  • The Capitals have an overabundance of talent.  My campaign is basically limited to my talent.
  • They have had a ton to television exposure.  I’ve had a few hundred hits on YouTube
  • They were picked by many hockey pundits to win it all.  I have yet to be mentioned by the political pundits.
  • The Capitals have made a lot of money marketing the way they market.  I have saved a lot of money marketing the way I have.

There is something the Capitals and I have in common:  We will both be golfing tomorrow.

Lesson learned for the day:  You can have all the tools and end up with nothing or you can have none of the tools and end up with everything.

April 29, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Weekend Gone Wrong

It seems I am too good at the “Orgies for Abstinence.”  My only wish is that others were as good at abstaining as I have become.  Although I did get the total benefits of the “Orgies” portion of “Orgies for Abstinence,” I did learn what a cuckold is.

I was able to bring a couple of ladies home with me.  That turned out to be a disaster.  They had fun with me while I was sleeping.  It wasn’t the type of activity I would have enjoyed if I was awake.  This is what I looked like shortly after I woke up yesterday morning to get ready for the wedding:

I do not know how they were able to make my hair that hideous of a shade of blonde or how they were able to shave me while I was sleeping (the beard ended being uneven after they shaved me.)  My beard was uneven and my hair didn’t match my beard’s color.  I did not go to the wedding like I wanted to.  I am still waiting for my neighbor to come over with the hair coloring  so my hair looks more natural.  I am clean shaven for the first time in a long time.

There is a lesson to be learned from this experience.  As soon as I learn it, I will share it with you.

April 11, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Weekend Gone Wrong

Back to the Grind

After a regrettable week in Oregon and a productive yet relaxing week at home, I am returning to work and the campaign trail.  I am fortunate not to lose any clients during my hiatus.  My campaign schedule is light this wee, with only a speech for the New Jersey Skiers’ Club scheduled for this week.  I have a full slate for next week and I will be bringing my daughter Patricia for the trip.  I never had her on any of my campaign stops before.  It will be fun having her along.

One of the few things I learned from my trip to the ashram is that I can learn from any experience I have.  I will take what I will learn from my trip to the topless bar tonight and apply it to my campaign.  Common sense would dictate that I would learn something about women’s issues, but I have learned that I have to be open and apply other parts of my campaign to tonight’s experience.

I will leave work early Friday because I have to picking up an embroidering machine and a silk printing machine I am renting for a week.  Patricia will be making embroidered caps and printed t-shirts for the campaign stops next week.  I plan on having 1,000 of each for Patricia to make.  It will be just like an arts-and-crafts camp, except that the things she will be making can actually be used.  It’s hard to believe she is six years old already.  It seems like only yesterday that her mother got me kicked out of the hospital when I came to visit Patricia following her birth.

July 6, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, issues, satire, speech | , , , , | 2 Comments


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