Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

An Open Letter to NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman

Dear Commissioner Bettman:

My name is Ahmnodt Heare and I am a lifelong NHL fan. (GO CAPS! GO!)  I like hockey so much that I would even sit through a Blue Jackets-Islanders game if it was on television.  I have watched every Stanley Cup Finals since 1983 (Except for the first season they were on OLN – My cable company didn’t carry it then).

It seems that every time hockey is about to get popular in the United States, you and the owners lock the players out and there is no hockey.  I don’t know where you live, but I live in the northeastern United States.  Winters here are cold and brutal.  We need hockey to keep us sane during the winter months.  We don’t need it quite as much in the fall and spring, but I watch it then because I like hockey.

I thought you were the worst sports commissioner at first, but the NHL has done some things to improve the game like the Outdoor Classic.  And you have been wise enough not to have these outdoor classics in places like Phoenix and Miami or other places that are warm in the winter.  On the other hand, you have instituted a shootout to determine outcome of games.  This is a bad idea.  Major League Baseball doesn’t determine the end of games with a home run hitting contest.  The NFL doesn’t end games with a punt, pass, and kick competition.  Why determine games with a shootout?  What’s wrong with a tie during the regular season?  I would extend the overtime period to ten minutes and end it as a tie if neither team scores.

This might be a shock to you, but it’s OK to be popular.  You don’t have to shut down the league just because people in the United States are starting to like hockey.

I look forward to watching VERY VERY SOON!

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt F.N. Heare

Lifelong Capitals fan and candidate for President of the United States.

P.S. If you please get me a pair of complementary tickets for the Capitals at New Jersey Devils games at the Prudential Center, it would be greatly appreciated.

September 25, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

An Open Letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell

Dear Commissioner Goodell:

My name is Ahmnodt Heare and I am a lifelong NFL fan. (Hail to the Redskins!)  I like football so much that I would even sit through a Jaguars-Browns game if it was on television.  I have watched every Super Bowl since Super Bowl XVI (I might have watched earlier Super Bowls, but I was too young to remember watching them.)

I think you are by far the best commissioner in professional sports.  (I plan on writing an open letter rant to NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman tomorrow in case you ever need to know how NOT to commission a league.)  Your overall good job aside, I am saddened by the current lockout of the NFL officials.

You constantly talk about the integrity of the game and have done much to maintain the integrity.  I think you fumbled the ball with the locking out of the officials, though.  It is hard to maintain integrity in the game when some of the replacement officials do not even know the rules of the game.  In last Monday night’s game between the Atlanta Falcons and the Denver Broncos, there was a defensive holding play against the Falcons.  A defensive holding penalty should be five yards.  They marched off eleven yards.  I believe that they intended to count off ten, but counted the yardage incorrectly  Ed Hochuli would have never allowed this to happen.

Officiating in sports is not easy.  I was once an umpire in a local church softball league.  I have gotten my share of calls on the field incorrect.  But I always awarded a walk to the batter after four balls (never three or five) and issue an out after the third strike (never after two or four.)

The National Football League is the best-ran league with the beat football players and the best fans.  The players and fans deserve the best officials.  Thank you for reading this letter.

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt F.N. Heare

Lifelong Redskins fan and candidate for President of the United States.

P.S. If you please get me a pair of complementary tickets for the Redskins-Giants game at MetLife Stadium on October 21, it would be greatly appreciated.

September 24, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , | 6 Comments

   

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