Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Out on Bail

I am out of jail after paying $1000 bail.  I was charged for possession of drugs.  The reason I am writing this is because you need to know what really happened and not what the Louisville Police are going to say.

It was around 9PM and I was walking through Cherokee Park in Louisville, KY.  A young man walked up to me and asked if I wanted to buy a brownie.  I knew the people in Kentucky were nice, but to offer to sell brownies at night us one of the nicer things I have seen in a long time.  I asked how much and he said $5.  I thought $5 was a lot of money for a brownie, but he seemed like a nice guy and I was getting hungry after spending most of the day campaigning.

He gave me the brownie in a brown paper bag.  I continued walking when two police officers approached me.  They asked me what was in the bag and I told them it was a brownie I just bought.  Then I asked me who I bought the brownie from and I told them I didn’t know the man’s name, but he seemed friendly.

The police took the bag and took the brownie out of the bag.  They broke the brownie in half and started to pick the leaves out of the brownie.  One of them then walked behind me and told me to place my hands on the back of my head.  The other one frisked me and made sure I didn’t have anything on me.

“Why am I arrested?”  I asked.

“Possession of Drugs,” replied the officer, “There’s hashish in this brownie.”

“How am I supposed to know that?” I asked.

Next thing I know, I was in the police station being photographed and fingerprinted.  They took my information and placed me in a cell for the night.  This morning I was in front of a judge and was charged with 3rd degree possession drug possession.  It carries a possible sentence of up to a year.

Soon after, I paid my bail and left.  I have a court date on June 10.

May 18, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, election, satire, scandal, speech | , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

They are Feeling the Heat!

My computer was hacked into today by someone who is hellbent on making sure I am not elected president. When I went to log into this blog this morning, I was redirected to a porn site. My computer was infested with viruses. Files containing my speeches and my itinerary were wiped out. I will probably be up all night writing the speeches I had already written for tomorrow in Eugene, OR and Saturday in Louisville, KY.

The campaigns of my opponents have to resort to tactics like this because they know they can’t handle a debate against me.  Senator McCain wouldn’t even get off the bus when he was in my town and he saw me.  They have no plan to handle the cinemafia, no plan that utilizes every available energy source, and no plan to enact Vanna White’s birthday as a national holiday.  They have to resort to computer hacking and smear campaigns.

If you happen to run into one of the candidates, tell them you want Ahmnodt Heare included in the debates and a serious discussion of the issues.

May 8, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments


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