Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Life of a Citizen

This lively pet hamster will keep you company throughout the day. Watch him run on his wheel, drink water, and eat the food you feed him by clicking your mouse. Click the center of the wheel to make him get back on it.

You are the hamster.  You run around in circles all day.  The government is your computer mouse.  It will drop food you you and allow you to have some time to eat and drink.  It will then click the center of the wheel to remind you to be a good little citizen and run around in circles some more.

If I was president, I would let you roam in a field free of predators and eat grass and wander wherever you want.  No more droppings from the sky called “lunch.”  You eat when you want, run when and where you want, and drink when you want.  It’s your life.

Please vote for me on November 6, 2012.  Thank you for your support.

November 21, 2011 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, satire, voting | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Presidential Diet

I discussed my exercise regiment in yesterday’s blog.  The other part of my weight loss plan is my diet.  A balanced diet and exercise program is needed for proper weight control.  Below is the diet I had as well as the diet plan I am currently on:

BREAKFAST:

Before: A bowl of Froot Loops, one fried egg, two slices toast, small glass orange juice, cup of coffee

After: A bowl of Froot Loops, two scrambled eggs, four slices toast, large glass orange juice, cup of coffee.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Eating a bigger breakfast will keep you less hungry and give you more energy for the rest of the day.

LUNCH:

Before:  Ham sandwich, potato salad, tall glass of milk

After:  Bologna sandwich, potato chips, tall glass of milk

I replaced ham with bologna because bologna is sliced thinner and has fewer calories.  Replacing potato salad with potato chips will cut the calories from mayonnaise from the potato salad. (Unless you like mayo on your potato chips.)

DINNER:

Before:  4 oz. meat, baked potato, broccoli, salad with ranch dressing, milk.

After: 4 oz chicken, mashed potatoes, string beans, salad with chicken gravy, milk

Chicken has the protein meat has with less fat and with fewer calories.  Mashed potatoes is not as dense as a baked potato and therefore contains fewer calories.  A string bean weighs less than a flower of broccoli.  chicken gravy has more protein than ranch dressing.

SNACK:

Before: Peanuts

After: Shelled Peanuts

Shelled peanuts will help you cut calories because of the time it takes to get the peanuts out of the shell.  The effort required to open the shells also burns calories.

RELAXATION:

Before: Six-pack beer

After:  Six-pack light beer, small bag of popcorn

Light beer has a lot fewer calories than regular beer.  You’ll save enough calories from switching to light beer to enjoy a small bag of popcorn and still consume fewer calories.  The popcorn will help with the drinking of the light beer.

The steps I have taken in diet and exercise will help me lose weight and look more presidential as I hit the campaign trail.


August 5, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day.  I will soon be taking my mother out for breakfast.  I used to take her out to lunch, but the Nationals are playing the Marlins today and my father and I will be going to the game.

My mother tried to keep me away from politics; and for the longest time, she was successful.  There were few politicians I like, and by the time I got to vote for them in the general election, those candidates were no longer on the ballot.  Alan Keyes is one such candidate.  He makes me think when he gives speeches and he has charisma.

There are times when I felt I should have listened to my mother, like in 2008.  I was disappointed that I did not receive any electoral votes.  It was further saddening that my own mother voted for somebody else.  (She voted for Barack Obama.)

My mother has since had a change of heart and has told me she will vote for me in 2012.  my mother and I don’t agree on everything politically.  She thinks my stance on abortion is too harsh.  My mother will also go to a movie once in a while, ofter dragging my father with her.

I am thankful that I have my mother’s support for the 2012 election.  Hopefully, she will continue her streak for voting for the winning candidate.  She said she will try to be on my radio show tonight and say “Hello” to the listeners.

I love you, Mom!

May 9, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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