Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Not So Fast!

I have been the victim of the latest rumor going around the internet:

Rumors of presidential candidate Ahmnodt Heare's death will hopefully be silenced.

Rumors of presidential candidate Ahmnodt Heare’s death will hopefully be silenced.

My whereabouts the last two weeks:

July 18-20 – New York campaign trip:  Never hire an anarchist to be your campaign manager if you can help it.  The only reason why I did was because he works for free (which is about all I can afford.)  He got the dates and the venues mixed up.  The one bright spot was when a supporter recognized me and said that he voted for me.

July 21 – Chester, PA – Car died:  It had rained Sunday and I drove with my headlights on, only forgetting to turn them off when I got out of the car.

July 22-26 – Seaford, DE:  I was running my business so I can buy luxuries like food and clean underwear.

July 27-29 – Annapolis, MD – I was driving on my way to Baltimore for a dinner date when my car ran out of gas.  It was soon afterwards that I realized that I left my wallet at home and had no money for gas. (Or date, toll bridge on the way back, or the spotted dick pudding my mother wanted me to pick up on my way home.  My cell phone died when I tried to call home.  It took a few days to find a Good Samaritan.

July 30-August 2 – Seaford, DE: Some work and some rest.

August 3 -Nanticoke River (near Seaford, DE):  I went rafting in an inflatable raft.  While my raft did collide with another inflatable raft, there were no injuries nor was there any damage to either raft.

August 4 – Seaford, DE: Trying to convince people who were paying their last respects that I was indeed still alive and not a clever campaign strategy to campaign to dead people by being dead.

I am alive.  I am a bit tired, but well.  Tomorrow will be spent looking for finding places for meet-and-greets in southern Delaware and eastern Maryland (East of the Chesapeake Bay.)

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August 4, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Not So Fast!

I Have to Speak Out

Despite my personal life getting complicated, I have been able to hit the campaign trail.  There is a growing dislike of Canadians from everybody that I talk to.  The hatred started building last month when US government officials were contemplating taking my advice and deporting Canadian spy Justin Bieber.  It built up a bit more last week when Canada’s men’s and women’s hockey teams beat their American counterparts in the men’s semifinals and the women’s gold medal games, respectively.

The final straw has come this week with Canada invading American air space with their “Operation Polar Vortex”.  I am convinced that this is a directive given out by Prime Minister Stephen Harper.  I have decided not to wait until “President” Obama decides he is going to do something.  The planning stages are already underway for what I am calling, “Operation Gulf Melt” aimed at Canadian curling rinks.  Anybody can roll a stone on ice, but it takes American talent to skip a stone on water.

I am currently having difficulties finding a place to host my radio and television shows podcasts.  My father doesn’t like it that I have taken to yelling and my mother keeps a bar of Safeguard nearby.  They are both doing better, but neither able to live alone.

I will be in Delmar (either Delaware or Maryland – I forget which one, though the two Delmars do border each other.) campaigning this Friday and Saturday.  I hope to see you there!

February 26, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, foreign policy, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on I Have to Speak Out

While I Was Away

If you happened to be in southern Delaware or in Salisbury, MD over the weekend and wondered if that was me campaigning, the answer was yes it was.  There was a lot going on in the last month that kept me occupied.

The “Move and Un-Move”:  I had to make two trips to my new place in Delaware because the only truck I could rent that weekend was a small box truck.  I arrived at the house I was supposed to move to only to find that the house was still occupied.  The people who still live there are waiting for the people who are in the house they had bought to be evicted.

“Jury Duty” – I was stuck on jury duty for two weeks.  I was an alternate juror in an embezzlement trial and had to sit through the entire trial though I didn’t get to vote on the guilt of the defendant.  (He was found guilty.  If I was guilty, I would have been a lost guilty.)

“Witness” – The week after that trial, I returned to the court as a witness for a defendant in a civil trial.  My testimony wasn’t enough as he lost his shirt (and his house, his car, his boat, and his next of kin.)

I have spent the last couple weeks working for my neighbor’s landscaping business.  I haven’t done any landscaping since I first ran for President in 2008.  I will continue to work in landscaping until I am finally able to move.

My supporters should be relieved to know that the IRS hasn’t been targeting my supporters (yet) except for those who have joined a tea party or patriot group.  Despite recent calls from people, President Obama will not be impeached for Benghazi-Gate.  It would lead to an open season to impeach any president whose policies differ than those wishing to impeach.  Nothing will get done in Washington (aside from the Congressional pay raise and the occasional tax increase).

I am still sitting in New Jersey waiting for the word to move.  My boxes are packed and are waiting to be loaded in a truck and get hauled to Delaware.  It can’t happen soon enough.

May 15, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on While I Was Away

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I still have to mud through some mud, but I will be in full campaign mode by mid-May.  You will know I am back in stride when the following happen:

  • I’m back to blogging every day and not on days that end with “day.”  
  • My podcast will be back on a weekly basis.
  • I will be interviewed by either Rachel Maddow or that guy with a nervous twitch.

There are some things I have to finalize before I can move.  It did not help that I had the bubonic  plague a severe lung infection or the last two weeks.  Another recent development is that the move to Maryland is now the move to Delaware.

I will try my darndest in the meantime to chime in when relevant news happens and when I have a free moment.  My return is inevitable.  My return is soon.

March 29, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, humor, Personal Life | , , , , , | 5 Comments

Transitions

I am undergoing a series of transitions in my life.  The whole process should take a couple months.  It could take a lot less time if things break my way.  I am in the process of moving to Maryland.  Below are the reasons:

  • My parents are not doing well.  My mother suffered a stroke and has yet to fully recover.  My father becomes lost when he has to cook his own meals.   
  • Every time it was my weekend for custody of my daughter, I have been reminded that it is winter.  This weekend is supposed to be freezing rain.
  • Cigarettes are cheaper in Maryland.  They’re expensive in New Jersey and I would need a loan to buy a pack in New York City.  If I am doing business in Virginia, I could buy cigarettes for dirt cheap compared to what I currently pay.
  • My business is slowing down here.  Many small businesses are closing and few new ones are starting up.  I do not know how I will fare businesswise in Maryland, but most of my current clients are set up that I can work from home with minimal trips back to New Jersey.
  • Lottery tickets have a better payout in Maryland.  Funds for the lottery in both states go towards education.  I have always been someone who demands a good return on my investments.  Since our children aren’t getting any smarter, the only other payout is winning on tickets.  Maryland lottery tickets offers more winners than New Jersey does.

For those who are wondering about what the “sequester” talk is in Washington, I think I can make it easier to understand.  The $100 billion in “spending cuts” means that government will increase spending by $100 billion instead of $200 billion.  Programs will be cut so the government can continue to spend money on projects that benefit their friends.

I hope the transition time is short.  I miss blogging and campaigning.  Have a good weekend from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

February 22, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, education, issues, Personal Life | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Transitions

Hitting the Road

This Thursday I will be embarking on a five-day campaign trip that will take me through Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, and North Carolina.  Right now the only thing that is anything near planned is a small rally in Winston-Salem.  I am open to other rallies (especially on Monday morning and afternoon.)

I might give an impromptu speech in front of the very spot where I first decided to get involved in politics in 1998 when I ran for Senate,  (I was beating John Edwards and Lauch Faircloth in polls when people found out I wasn’t eligible due to age.)

This was supposed to be part of a longer trip that would have brought me into Washington DC the following weekend for my daughter’s birthday.    While I was able to find someone who could take care of the dog for that time, I couldn’t find anybody to watch my pet ants or water my bread mold beyond Monday.  I’ll be back home Monday evening only to head to Washington that Friday.  OPEC is starting to love me.

March 4, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Personal Life, Washington | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Hitting the Road

Taking the Money Out of Politics

In case you haven’t noticed, there is no “donations” link or a “PayPal” button on my site.  This is because I have no intention of raising money for the campaign.  Some critics will claim that I have a store where people can buy yard signs and t-shirts.  I do, but that money is not going towards the campaign.  That is beer money.  I am sober because nobody has bought any stuff.

The reason why I am not raising money for the campaign is simple:  I am trying to take the money out of politics.  I haven’t filed with the FEC nor will I. First of all, the FEC has a filing fee.  And the FEC is set up to favor Democrats and Republicans.  Paying a filing fee to the FEC would be like paying somebody to rob my house.  And because I am not filed with the FEC, this is exclusively a write-in campaign.

I don’t normally endorse Republicans or Democrats, but I am going to make an exception.  I endorse Murray Hill, Inc. in Maryland’s 8th Congressional district’s Republican primary.  While they are spending money on their campaign, their primary mission in running is to limit how much money corporations like Murray Hill, Inc. can spend on campaigns.  They are trying to make it harder to make corporations to buy our elected officials.

If you want your politicians to be bought to the highest bidder, then feel free to vote for Republicans (except Murray Hill Inc.) and Democrats.  If  you want money out of politics, then vote for a candidate who is running a penniless campaign.  Vote for Ahmnodt Heare.  Ahmnodt Heare for America.  Ahmnodt Heare for YOU.

March 25, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, endorsement, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

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