Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

You Should Have Voted For Me

Benghazi. IRS. Fast and Furious.  These are just a few scandals currently swirling around President Obama and his administration.  Mitt Romney is living a private life.  This makes it hard to find out what scandalous plans he has cooked up.  2008 Republican candidate John McCain was in Syria to give support to Al-Qaeda  Syrian rebels after showing support to Al-Qaeda rebels during the Libyan uprising.

Unlike the candidates from the other parties, my scandals did not kill innocent lives.  They didn’t even kill guilty lives.  My scandals were limited to being hooked on phonics, my inability to find a Constitutionally eligible running mate in 2008, and buying pot brownies.

People tend to vote for glitz over substance.  They think it’s more important that a president is tall than is able to properly use “your” and “you’re” in a sentence.  They’d rather vote for someone with a twinkle in their eye than for someone with a tinkle on the toilet seat.  They would rather vote for a buffoon who looks astute than for a genius who looks mentally challenged.

Remember this blog entry when you vote in 2016.  Before you vote for that stud or hottie, remember that their scandals can kill.  I would suggest that you vote for me.  My scandals are safer,



June 2, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, Obama, politics, Romney | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Is Snooki an Ahmnodt Heare Supporter?

I have to admit that I haven’t watched “Jersey Shore.”  It is one of those things that those of us in the Jersey mountains care for.  There is a mutual resentment between the people of shore and the people of the mountains.

Snooki is a member of the “Jersey Shore” cast.  It is basically a show about stereotypical “Guidos” and “Guidettes.”  Most Italians go out of their way to shun the “Guidistic” lifestyle.  Italians have spent years fighting the “mafioso” stereotype only to get the “Guido” lable shoved down their throats.

Although I have never watched an episode of “Jersey Shore”, I have seen Snooki on the news and on various other shows.  She has a nice tan and would be the ideal candidate for the “Ahmnodt Girl” videos.  She used to get her tans at tanning salons until the federal government started charging a 10% tax on tanning.  Snooki added that John McCain would have never have voted for a 10% tanning tax because he is pale, unlike President Obama.  I am against the tanning tax for a different reason.  I am against it because it unfairly discriminates against those who do not have northern European ancestry.  It does that because northern Europeans are paler and get more tan for their tax dollars.

I received an e-mail from a supporter that made Snooki’s fight against the tanning beds to my fight against the CineMafia.  We have both taken on topics that the mainstream media is not talking about.  We both have a support base because we have championed causes that the media has chosen to ignore.

While we have fighting unhyped causes in common, this does not make Snooki a supporter of my campaign.  This does not mean I would not welcome her to the campaign with opened arms.  I could even find her a vacant Cabinet head position should she decide to join my campaign.

July 31, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, health care, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments


Part of my campaign’s outreach involves occasionally posting entries that are not in English.  Today’s entry is in Danish.  (En del af min kampagne’s opsøgende arbejde involverer lejlighedsvis udstationering poster, der ikke er på engelsk. Dagens post er på dansk.)

Jeg har udført nogle af mine mål, at jeg ville have sat, hvis jeg blev valgt til formand. Jeg har også fastsat tendenser, som andre præsidentkandidater havde brugt efter at jeg har en vision om at prøve først gerne valgkamp iEuropa og i Canada. Når jeg ikke fastlægges politiske tendenser, ser jeg skridt bliver lavet som et resultat af min politiske aktivisme og berømthed påtegninger.

På trods af mine resultater, jeg stadig har lang vej at gå, før jeg har en reel chance for at blive valgt. Jeg har endnu til at være på tv til en samtale. Jeg ville være i stand til at gå gennem en hel interviewet med Contessa Brewer uden drooling for at virke troværdig. Jeg er nødt til at være den første oftere. Jeg var Outfoxed af Jim Ogonowski at få afdøde personer til at registrere for at stemme.

Jeg har udrettet en masse, men det vil ikke betyde noget uden din fortsatte støtte. Det er din støtte, der giver mig lyst til at gøre vores land bedre, og det takker jeg dig.

October 14, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Obama, satire | , , , , , | 5 Comments


I have accomplished some of my goals that I would have set if I was elected President.  I have also set trends that other presidential candidates had used after I have the vision to try first like campaigning in Europe and in Canada.  When I am not setting political trends, I am seeing steps being made as a result of my political activism and celebrity endorsements.

Despite of my accomplishments, I still have a long way to go before I have a real chance of getting elected.  I have yet to be on television for an interview. I would have to be able to go through an entire interview given by Contessa Brewer without drooling in order to seem credible.  I have to be the first more often.  I was outfoxed by Jim Ogonowski in getting deceased people to register to vote.

I have accomplished a lot, but it won’t mean anything without your continued support.  It is your support that makes me want to make our country better, and for that I thank you.

October 13, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, editorial, endorsement, humor, issues, media, politics, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment


I reached my 40,000th supporter the other day.  I would have mentioned this sooner, but I have been busy.  Below are some of the possible reasons in the spike of supporters in recent days:

  • Saguache County Support Base Swells upon my Arrival – I doubt this is the case because the percentage of people who were happy I am in Saguache County is no higher than the percentage of people who voted for me.
  • Obama Supporters are Weary of Obama – While I have seen people who voted for President Obama become critical of his health care plan, I have seen none of his supporters advocating mine.
  • McCain supporters See no Future for Republican Party –  Republicans seem to be like a punch-drunk spouse.  No matter how many times Republicans say they will cut spending and never do, the flock of grassroots Republicans believe they will cut spending the next time.
  • People are Bored – If that was the case, I’d have 40,000,000 supporters by now.
  • Subliminal Messages – I don’t know how to do that.  Besides, I believe in a more overt approach.  “VOTE FOR AHMNODT HEARE!”

While I figure out the reasons for the unexpected spike in supportership, I would like to thank everybody for supporting me.  Election Day is only 38 months away.

September 3, 2009 Posted by | campaign, editorial, endorsement, Obama, Platform, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Vacation Planning

I will be taking my first vacation since I first started running for President soon.  I will be going to Blanca Fest in Fort Garland, CO and will be spending the rest of my vacation in Saguache County.  Although there is not much to do Saguache County, I feel obligated to show my graditude to the fine people of Saguache County for electing me for their president over both Barack Obama and John McCain.

I do not know why I didn’t show my appreciation sooner.  I owe the fine people another apology as well.  I have found out that I have been pronouncing the name of their county incorrectly on my radio show.  I was pronouncing it as a Spanish word (Sah-Goo-Ah-chay).  The correct pronounciation is (Saw-WATCH) as it is an Ute Indian word meaning, “Water at Blue Earth”.

I will be staying at the Hillside Hotel in Saguache.  I will leave early that Saturday for the Blanca Fest.  For those not familiar with the Blanca Fest, it is a day of tours, a Chuck Wagon styled dinner, and bluegrass music.  I want to volunteer with the Chuck Wagon dinner because I want to make sure that senior citizens are getting the real Chuck Wagon and not the generic.

August 15, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, endorsement, Obama, satire, senior citizens | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A Look at my Platform – Race Relations

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on race relations.

Whoever crosses the finish line first wins. Everybody else loses.This is my view on race relations.

Quitters never win.  I mentioned this on my position on smoking. People seem to be hung up on race, so I practice wind sprints every day.  This approach is fine for short races.  The race for the Presidency is a marathon and has required me to use different training strategies.

To prove my point, people don’t talk about John McCain or me too often any more.  We both lost in 2008 and are considered irrelevant in the eyes of the media and most Americans.  All of the attention is on Barack Obama.  Sure, the media asks John McCain where he thinks President Obama went wrong (and they would ask me if they knew who I am), but only as a painful reminder that Barack Obama is our president.

It is still 3 1/2 years until the Presidential Election.  There will be a lot of positioning for the race for the President.  I am currently in good position by starting my campaign now and getting my name out to the public now.  It is a long race and I race best when I am in front.  I will be ready for President Obama and whoever the Republicans spew at us.  I welcome the challenge.

May 23, 2009 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, election, Obama, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on A Look at my Platform – Race Relations

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