Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I Am Not The Only One

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-popcorn-lawsuit-20120305,0,3059649.story?track=rss

I thought I was the only person willing to fight the Cinemafia head-on.  People hate the Cinemafia, but don’t have the time or money to fight them.  I don’t have the money to fight them (or the $10 jaywalking ticket I got last night), but a man in Michigan does.  Joshua Thompson is my hero.

Joshua Thompson used to sneak his own food into a local theater unto the theater manager made a policy prohibiting food to be brought from elsewhere.  Thompson retaliated by filing a lawsuit against the theater for violating anti-trust laws.

The reason for the anti-trust lawsuit is simple:  The less competition there is, the more those in business can charge for a product or service.  Marijuana is so expensive because it is illegal and most people can only get their weed from one dealer.  The few people who can go to one dealer soon realize that all dealers get their stuff from the same CIA agent.

A large soda in a movie theater can cost $5 or more because people generally don’t bring soda from home.  And the few who did before the crackdown on home-brought colas will soon experience a spike in the cost of concessions.

I am the only presidential candidate who has offered a viable way to make both movies and concessions more affordable as demonstrated in this video I made in 2008.  The entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team wishes Joshua Thompson and all others fighting the Cinemafia.

March 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Question for Mitt Romney

If you love Michigan so much, why did you move to Massachusetts?  And why were you for the bailouts before you were against them?  (I know that’s two questions)

November 9, 2011 Posted by | debate, humor, Oakland | , , , | Comments Off on Question for Mitt Romney

My Vice-Presidential Running Mate

***NOTICE*** I am announcing that I now have a running mate for 2012.  I know some people will be disappointed that I will not occupy both parts of the ticket like I did in 2008.  I figured it would be too taunting a task to fix the country and to go to the funeral of every third-world dictator.  I was going to choose Sir Satire, but he is still happy at his commune making organic Twinkees.

I have found a man who is Sir Satire’s equal.  He is Peasant Tim.  You may know him as the guy from Michigan with a job.  But he is much more than that.  He has a job and pays his rent.  As your vice-president, he will be in charge of setting up an anti-cinemafia task force and will implement my “Just say ‘OK, but just this once’.” drug policy.

Peasant Tim will be joining this blog with an occasional post from his campaigning.  He will start blogging as soon as he finishes the final touches on the Lake Michigan oil spill investigation.

February 6, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, environment, Platform, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

New Headquarters

The new headquarters is in New York City, around the corner from The Disney Store.

The new headquarters is in New York City, around the corner from The Disney Store.

I have decided to move my headquarters from Michigan to New York City.  Although I still feel the actions by the McCain and Obama campaigns conclude that neither party cares about Michigan, I have to move to a more centralized location.

The new headquarters will be in midtown Manhattan near the family-friendly section of Times Square.  If you happen to be in the area, bring the family by.

I will be in Michigan from time to time as there are important programs that I must finish like the Jennifer Granholm conversion program.  I think that with a little bit of help, she will be an Ahmnodt Heare supporter.  There is also the humpback dolphin situation that has to be resolved.

I will leave Michigan campaign activities in good hands once the programs are finished.  If the hands aren’t good, I will supply hand cream and gloves.

December 22, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Headquarters moving to Michigan

The Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign is moving to Michigan during the week.  The campaign feels it can take advantage of John McCain’s campaign leaving the state.  Ahmnodt Heare will remind the good people of Michigan that John McCain bailed out of the state when times got tough.  He would also make sure people in Michigan don’t forget that Barack Obama didn’t want Michigan to count in the Democratic primary. 

While in Michigan, I will organize volunteers in Detroit and Sault Ste. Marie and have them monitor the border crossings making sure Canadian entertainers do not taint our country.

October 6, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, Obama, Platform, satire | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

It’s Worse than I Thought!

I went to Lake Michigan yesterday by the oil spill that ruined the habitat of the humpback dolphin population.  Much to my horror, there were no humpback dolphins anywhere.  Continue reading

June 6, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, issues, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Save the Humpback Dolphins!

As mentioned in the radio ad, I promised Tim that I would look into the oil spill in Lake Michigan that caused considerable damage to the humpback dolphin population.  I will also travel to Wisconsin to check on the children poisoned by contaminated humpback dolphin meat served in school cafeterias.  I am heading there today by car and will be in Michigan tomorrow afternoon and Wisconsin on Friday.

I will take the oil Tim has cleaned up since my last visit as well as any uncontaminated Humpback Dolphin meat to Washington.  I will discuss the matter at an impromptu meetings with  congresspeople who  like  Humpback Dolphin meat.    It is a delicacy in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Mongolia.

Next week, I will travel to Arizona and look into the situation concerning the crying hyenas.

June 4, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, issues, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

%d bloggers like this: