Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Obama the Genius

I never thought I would say this, but Barack Obama is a genius.  People (including I) have been criticizing his foreign and health care policies.  But from what I had to figure out, he has tied the two together to keep Americans safe.  Here’s how:

ISIS – Rumor has it that there are ISIS troops in Mexico and are soon to invade the United States.  Even President Obama knows that drone strikes can’t be done in the United States like they have been done in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan.  And sending the troops needed to protect the border isn’t as feasible as one would think as there isn’t enough housing for all of the troops.  So how does he stop ISIS from becoming a terror nightmare?

He stops ISIS be sending Ebola patients to the border.  That’s why there are Ebola patients in Texas.  The females will be disguised as ISIS sympathizers and slip the fighters tongue and other ways to send their bodily fluids into the bodies of ISIS.  They get sick and they die.

Well played, Obama.  Well played.

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October 16, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, foreign policy, health care, Obama | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Obama the Genius

Observations on Recent Events

I spent most of today trying to catch up on what has been happening in the news since Election Day.  I haven’t watched the news because I have been vacationing and I had custody of my daughter for most of the last week.  Below is my synopsis of some recent events:

  • Colorado and Washington legalizing marijuana for recreational use –  I support this and on the surface this is good news.  There is bad news and I will explain that later.
  • Petraeusgate – Former CIA Director David Petraeus resigned following a much-publicized sex scandal.  My campaign could use publicity like that.  I am not below admitting that I can use the sex.
  • Israel vs. Hamas and the Palestinians – I have received heat for what I am about to say in the past, but it bears repeating.  The United States should not get involved in the conflict until the Canadian dilemma is settled.  Canadian spies like William Shatner, Celine Dion, and Justin Bieber infiltrating and sabotaging the Great American Entertainment Industry must be deported and American entertainment must be restored to its greatness.
  • Hostess Closing Down – This is bad news on many levels.  I blame the marketing team for the folding of the company.  While it is easy to blame the management for being overpaid or the unions for wanting too much, I blame the marketing team for undervaluing their products.  I would have sold Twinkees at 40% higher than the suggested retail price.  They were at least that much better than Little Debbie’s.  Legalizing marijuana just isn’t the same withoout munching on Twinkees or Ho-Ho’s.

Tonight is my last night in Virginia Beach.  I head to my parents’ home in Washington, DC tomorrow for Thanksgiving week and head home Friday afternoon.

November 18, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, editorial, humor, issues, satire, scandal, War | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Observations on Recent Events

Debate Drinking Game

The first debate is on Wednesday, October 3 at 9:00PM Eastern (8 Central, 7 Mountain, 6 Pacific, etc.).   I hope you won’t have to drive after the debate tomorrow night.  Going to work on Thursday morning might not be a good idea either.  Below are guidelines for when to drink when President Obama, Mitt Romney, and Ahmnodt Heare say something.

Have a drink every time Obama says:

  • Affordable Health Care Act
  • Top 1%
  • The 47%
  • Failed Republican policies
  • Ahmnodt

Have a Drink every time Romney says:

  • Obamacare
  • Failed Obama policies
  • Soft on the Middle East
  • Ahmnodt

Have a drink every time Heare says:

  • Obromneycare
  • Cinemafia
  • pedophile
  • Canada
  • Vermin Supreme

In order to save your liver, if you find yourself drinking because of something that either Obama or Romney said that is not part of the drinking game (There will be a lot of those moments), you can exempt yourself from one of the cues to drink.  There might also be a moment or two when the moderator Jim Lehrer will make you want to drink for asking a stupid question.

Enjoy the debate!  I will be debating in real time in my new chat room.  You do not need an account to sign up and chat and ask me questions Jim Lehrer wouldn’t dare.

October 2, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, debate, humor, issues, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Real Issues

American politicians are notorious for keeping voters engaged with issues that have nothing to do with the future of American lives.  They want to keep you preoccupied with non-issues like gay marriage and the “war” on women, but not that both parties have raised the debt and the war on people in the Middle East.  Ask your politician why he are she is avoiding these vital issues:

  • Health Care – Romney mandated health care insurance for Massachusetts.  Obama has mandated it for the other 49 states, the District of Columbia, and the U.S. Territories.  Nobody is addressing why it costs $20 for ONE Tylenol in a hospital when you can get 100 for under $10 in many supermarkets and department stores.  I think America would be better served with everybody having apple trees and keeping the doctor away (and the expense of going to the doctor.)
  • Jobs – Romney created a bunch of minimum-wage jobs for Staples.  Obama created jobs for green companies that would eventually go bankrupt and lay everybody off.  My plan would create jobs by giving bailout to companies who don’t need it so they can hire more people and pay the workers they already have more money.  It would also bail out companies that no longer exist by bring back all of those laid off workers back to their jobs.
  • Entertainment –  I am the only candidate who understands that Americans love to be entertained and that the price of entertainment is spiraling out of control.  No other candidate has addressed the cost of entertainment because they don’t care.

You can elect somebody like Obama, Romney, or anyone else who tells you what the issues are or you can elect someone (Ahmnodt Heare) who you tell what the issues are.  The choice is yours.

May 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, election, entertainment, health care, humor, issues, Obama, satire, War | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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