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Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
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Canada’s New Plan of Attack
For the last fifty years, Canada’s mode of attack has been to have their spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry and ruin our last remaining export. Some of their more infamous spies include William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and Justin Bieber. The Canadian government has reached a new low with their newest tactic. It is a complicated plan that hurts not only American citizens, but also their own.
First, Canada drives their prices so high that things become hard to afford in Canada. Gas is around $5.00/gallon in British Columbia while it’s about $3.80 in Washington State. Here is a cost-of-living comparison between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA. Canadians know things are less expensive in the United States so they hit American stores en mass and hoard essentials like milk, eggs, and cigarettes before Americans can get to them.
There are two ways to handle this: Raise the prices of things in Americs so it’s as bad here as in Canada. This is a bad idea unless you are rich and have a ton of disposable income. The other plan is to sabotage the Canadian Dollar to the point that it would be virtually worthless in the United States. That’s why I just came up with a third idea. He;p the Canadian citizens petition their government. This will not only make things more affordable for Canadians to shop in Canada, but it will finally put an end to their government’s tampering with American entertainment.
I should mention that no other presidential candidate has even mentioned this as of this posting. 84 shopping days until Election Day.
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August 14, 2012 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, economy, foreign policy, humor, issues, satire | American entertainment, border wars, cigarettes, citizens, dollar, eggs, gas, Justin Bieber, milk, prices, shopping, William Shatner | 2 Comments