Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Not Quite the Same

My father, daughter, and I arrived at CPAC at around 3:ooPM.  I missed Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney speak, but Newt Gingrich was scheduled to speak at 4:00.  My father walked around the exhibits while Patricia and I sat and listened to speeches given by people I don’t know.  We stayed mostly to make sure my father had a seat for Gingrich’s speech.

My father arrived about ten minutes before the start of the speech.  He told us that he met Mitt Romney’s campaign manager and that we were going to have dinner with Romney.  It was a bigger deal for him than it was for either me or Patricia.  My dad is a lifelong Republican and only voted for me in 2008 because Romney did not get the nomination.  Part of the reason why I am at CPAC this weekend is because I wanted to get a feel and see if anybody can beat Romney.  I wanted to listen to Newt Gingrich speak and possibly offer a critique on how he can get more Republicans to vote for him in primaries.  It’s this reason that I will refrain from using the phrase “The Newtered One” until he has either withdrawn or clinches the nomination.

After Newt’s speech, we headed back to my father’s to see if my mother wanted to join us.  (She is as staunch a Democrat as my father is a Republican.)  She had the same look I gave a college friend when he told me we were going to see Benny Hill perform in Orlando.  It turned out to be Benny Hinn.

We arrived at Founding Farmers restaurant at about 6:30.  The four of us sat at a table set for five in anticipation of our guest.  We were talking among ourselves when a short, stout, balding blond gentleman approached us.

“I believe you were waiting for me.” he said.

“Actually,” my father replied, “We’re waiting for Mitt Romney.”

“You must have misunderstood my campaign manager.  My name is Mitch Rodney and I am also running for President.”

Mitch Rodney.  I ended up going through the motions.  I had no idea what we talked about or what I ordered or ate.  Mitch Rodney.

February 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, Republicans, satire, Washington | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Unexpected Consequenses

Everything a person does has residual effects.  This can be good or bad, depending on the circumstance.  “Orgies for Abstinence II” accomplished a lot of good at the one I attended as many people were taught the benefits of abstinence.  There was one that did not go quite as well.

My mother recently decided to be more supportive in my campaign for 2012 than she was in 2008.  (She voted for Obama.)  My mother (along with my father) planned an “Orgies for Abstinence” at the seniors’ center near their home.  It got them in oodles of trouble.  Most of this was because of the staff that misunderstood that the reason for their orgy was to promote abstinence.  It didn’t help that my parents forgot to bring the abstinence materials with them.

They set up the orgy without an incident.  Approximately ten minutes into it, the seniors’ center’s director walked in and ended it.  My parents are now barred from the center for life.

The next official “Orgies for Abstinence” is not until Election Day, though there may be several unofficial events as it has taken off due to its popularity.  If you need any materials for abstinence for your orgy, please e-mail me or call me at (507)-AHMNODT.  If you must have an orgy at a senior center, a church, or a day care center, please make sure you have these materials handy.

April 12, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire, scandal, senior citizens | , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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