Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Reassessment

I am not where I want to be with my campaign.  While some things have improved, there is a glaring omission in 2012 that was a big part of my 2008 campaign.  I am of course talking about the celebrity endorsements.  It has been a long time since a celebrity has stepped up and endorsed me.

It all started with Tom DeLay.  He was extremely dissatisfied with the field of candidates the Republicans had in 2008.  He jumped ranks and became the first famous person to endorse me.Before you know it, he was sent to prison for “ethics violations”, but I suspect foul play. Tom DeLay is a nice man.

Tom DeLay

Another famous person connected to politics was Levi Johnston. He almost became Sarah Palin’s son-in-law. The problem was that Johnston was no fan of John McCain even with Palin on the ticket. He let the Palins know who he endorsed on the Palins’ Wasilla lawn:

Levi Johnston

Another famous person who was cursed by endorsing me was former Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski.  He was another person who found himself in a federal prison soon after he endorsed me.

Dennis Kozlowski

The fate of these people is minimal compared to what happened to the next person to endorse me.  Apple Computer Company founder Steve Jobs suddenly came down with pancreatic cancer a few months after endorsing me.  I am not normally a conspiracy theorist, but a billionaire who could have gotten the best health care ever with his money ended up dying anyway.

Steve Jobs

There has been a large outcry from people who want to contribute to my campaign despite my “penniless campaign” pledge. I had resisted for the longest time, but I do not want to disappoint all those people who want to contribute. I will have a one-time money bomb on the 31st of this month. This will be the ONLY time I will accept contributions. The money raised from the campaign will be used for things like ad time, yard signs, and tattoos. There will be more information in the days to come.

Don’t forget “Orgies for Abstinence V” on Friday!

April 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, endorsement, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Dropping Like Flies

I had thought that there would be a ton of Republicans licking their chops at the opportunity to run against Barack Obama.  There have been a few announcements thus far.  One candidate is a businessman I never heard of.  The other is Jimmy McMillan.  I had endorsed Mr. McMillan for Governor of New York in 2010.  I am disappointed he has chosen to run against me after I decided not to run for Governor of New York last year.  (Mainly because I am a Washington DC man living in New Jersey, though that did not stop some people from campaigning for me.)

But now there have been some announcements from prominent Republicans stating they will not be running for President.  First it was my governor, Chris Christie.  He says he has to fix New Jersey’s problems first.  If he can do that, I’ll probably vote for him in 2020 (after I serve my two terms).

Senator John Thune (Not of “Name That Thune” fame as I once thought) announced he won’t run for President.  He said that he could better serve America as a Senator.  I agree with him.

Congressman Ron Paul has yet to made a decison as to whether or not he will run.  He said he was going to wait until after his “money bomb” on President’s Day.  While the money bomb was able to raise over $700,000, it has yet to lead to a decision.  Should he decide to run, he will have a fan base almost as passionate and devoted as my supporters.

The other candidates in the “Will-They-or-Won’t-They” mode include Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, and Donald Rumsfeld.  The longer these people wait, the easier it will be for me to win next November. My advice to these people (and anybody else wishing to run) is to wait until 2020 when my two terms are up and I will not be allowed to run.  It will help your campaign to say that you will continue the path set by President Ahmnodt Heare.

February 23, 2011 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Annual Money Bomb

I did not want to raise any money for my campaign, but David suggested I should get a personal assistant so my schedule doesn’t become so hectic.  I will not raise money in traditional methods.  I have decided instead to go with a “money bomb” like Ron Paul, Rand Paul, and Peter Schiff had for their campaigns.  The money bomb will be an all-day event taking place on the 31st.  If you ever wanted to give to my campaign, the 31st will be the day to do it.

Thank you all once again for your support.

September 5, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , | 3 Comments

Money Bomb Snafu

The money bomb scheduled for the 31st has been canceled due to the fact that April has only 30 days.

April 30, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign | , , | Comments Off on Money Bomb Snafu

Money Bomb Scheduled for 31st

The Ahmnodt Heare for President committee will have a money bomb on the 31st of this month.  A prominent businessperson, who wished to remain nameless, promises to match the money raised from the money bomb on April 31. 

April 9, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, satire | , , | Comments Off on Money Bomb Scheduled for 31st

   

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