Cinemafia in World Governments

The Cinemafia’s infiltration in world governments started innocently enough in April 1956 in the tiny Principality of Monaco when Rainier III, Prince of Monaco, married Hollywood starlet and Cinemafiosa Grace Kelly.  Nobody really paid much attention because Monaco isn’t exactly a military powerhouse with an overly-aggressive foreign policy.

Fast forward to 1980.  Americans elect a B-Rate actor who was the former president of the Screen Actors’ Guild.  Movies like “Back to the Future”, “The Breakfast Club”, and “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off” are deemed classics.  Not because they are among the best movies ever made; but because there is a good chance you will see at least one of these movies on USA Network or TBS next weekend.  They seem like classics compared to the crap the Cinemafia spews today.  Today’s movies are so bad that they had to re-release “Titanic” in theaters last weekend.  (They also made a pretty penny “celebrating” the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.

USA Network is also the home of the lastest Cinemafioso Anthony Shalhoub.  He plays Adrian Monk on “Monk” and also plays the role of French President Nicholas Sarkozy.

A stern Nicholas Sarkozy interrupts a reporter who was asking a question about the final season of "Monk".

The Cinemafia is everywhere but they can be defeated.  While they are currently serving as various heads-of-state, legislators, and lobbyists; they can be shown the curb by candidates who will not accept blood money.  I am one of those candidates.  I will give my opponents a GPS so they don’t get lost on their way to the curb.  Vote for me on November 6.  Together we can save the Great American Entertainment Industry.

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My Favorite Thanksgiving

It was Thanksgiving of 1989.  A few things stood out about that Thanksgiving.  The first thing was the turkey we were supposed to have went bad.  The fowl was foul.  My mother sent me to the supermarket to get a turkey that wasn’t sour.

I had just gotten my license a few weeks earlier.  It was a good thing I had it because none of the supermarkets in the area had any turkeys left over.  It took me a while and a bit of driving to find a supermarket that still had turkeys twenty miles from my home.   The supermarket lines were crowded and it seemed to take forever to pay for the turkey.

I was heading home when the rear passenger tire went flat.  I had never changed a tire before and I soon realized that it would be a while longer before I would change a flat.  The car did not have a jack.  I frantically tried to wave somebody down who could help me.  A few people came over and wanted to help, but none of them had jacks either.  A policeman came over just before noon and was able to quickly change the tire.

Thanksgiving started to get good at noon as I was listening to the radio and was introduced to “Alice”s Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie.  The song is about twelve minutes long and is about two guys who had a worse Thanksgiving than I was having because they were in jail.

I soon arrived home to two very angry parents.  It took them a while for them to realize I wasn’t joyriding trying to avoid Thanksgiving.  Having turkey that day was out of the question because by the time the turkey was prepped and cooked, it would be after 8:00PM before we would eat.  We ended up having pancakes, eggs, bacon, and oatmeal.

There is something to be said for having breakfast as your Thanksgiving meal.  It’s amazing how much relieved people could be of stress once the tradition of a holiday is shot to Hell.  It isn’t the turkey or the football or the “Monk” marathons that make Thanksgiving.  It’s the people you are thankful for having in your life being in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!