Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Taxing Day

Filing taxes is (for lack of a better word), taxing.  Despite of all the forms, it basically boils down to two things: 1) How much did you make? and 2) Send it in. (Please enclose an additional $29.95 processing fee.)  Then they get you because they want to know where you got the money for the processing fee and why it wasn’t included with income.

Paying taxes would feel less burdensome if we were getting our money’s worth.  The federal gas taxes are supposed to go for roads and bridges, yet 1/3 of our bridges fail safety codes.  The more we spend on education and health care, the dumber our children become and the sicker we get.  Somebody has to pay for the GSA’s lavish parties.

This is why I am a fiscal conservative.  I only spend money on things I really need (housing, food, water, clothes, auto expenses, nudie bars, etc.)  I will bring that fiscal conservatism to the White House.  I will no longer have taxpayers fund a study on the flow of ketchup or on the mating habits of gay Argentinian men.  Funding will be limited to the essentials of running government, military, social programs, and the National Vanna White Museum.  If somebody needs money for a study, they can raise the money with a cake sale or a magazine drive.

You can vote for Obama or Romney (two men known for spending money), you could vote for Ron Paul (Please don’t.)  You can vote for Roseanne Barr, Lee Wrights, or another third party candidate.  But the best vote would be a vote for Ahmnodt Heare.

April 17, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, education, health care, humor, satire, taxes, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Transformation Team

A true leader prepares for the future.  I am not going to wait until I win the election in 2012 to set up a transformation team to have a smooth transfer of power from the Obama administration to the Heare administration.

The vetting process for non-Cabinet positions will begin on Monday.  My office and bedroom will be opened for the vetting process.  I will be announcing the results of the vetting process soon after it is completed.  There are plenty of positions available.  A complete list of agencies with positions can be found here:

There will also be positions for agencies I fell need to be created.  One position will be Curator for the Museum of Pornographic Arts.  The museum will open in Hamburg, New Jersey as soon as federal funding is received.  The curator must have knowledge of the history of pornography and be able to use various kinds of media from real-to-reel projectors to PowerPoint.  The curator must also be able to maintain the “Hands-On” section of the museum and clear a background check as it is anticipated that children will be visiting the museum on class trips.

To make an appointment for an interview, send your resume to ahmnodtheare@politician.com as well as the best time to call to arrange for an interview.

November 5, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Partaking in the Next Round of Stimulus

I have decided to apply for a stimulus grant after all.  I have bashed Presidents Obama and Bush for this and the way they went about it.

I have decided to apply for a grant for the Museum of Pornographic Arts .  I figure I would need $5 million dollars to get started.  Some of the things I would need include a building for the museum (including the hands-on exhibit for the children), old pornographic magazines to show the history of pornography, and porn stars giving demonstrations for people willing to learn.

The museum is not going to be in Kernersville, NC, as I had originally hoped.  It will instead be in Hamburg, NJ.  It will be a willing participant in the “Bah Hamburg” campaign I started.

I have been questioned about the number of jobs it will be created.  There will be a museum curator, a custodian, a full-time and a part-time cafeteria worker, two full-time demonstrators and six-to-eight part-time demonstrators (for gang-bang scenes, etc.)

According to my congressman, it takes a while for a project to get approved.  I will look for a building for the museum while in the application process.

January 7, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, commentary, economy, education, humor, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Billion a page: 778-page, $827B stimulus – David Rogers – Politico.com

Billion a page: 778-page, $827B stimulus – David Rogers – Politico.com.

I knew the economy was in bad shape, but I didn’t think it took 778 pages of legislation to fix it.  $827 billion isn’t what it used to be.  30 years ago, you could run the United States federal government on $827 billion.  Today, it only bails out a couple of companies.

It makes me wonder what is in the 778 pages.  I found a copy of the bill here.  I haven’t read the whole thing yet, but I am confident the funding for the Museum of the Pornographic Arts is included.  I think the clincher was the provision of a hands-on exhibit for the kids.

February 8, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, economy, legislation, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on Billion a page: 778-page, $827B stimulus – David Rogers – Politico.com

Never Give Up (A Lesson Learned)

When I heard that Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson wanted to give out more money (including bailing out companies that were already bailed out), I decided that there was hope after all.  I would be able to keep my tropical igloo business as well as my vaginal products for men business.  (I am offering a new line of products next week, in time for Christmas).

For a few dollars more, I will be able to open the Museum of the Pornographic Arts in Kernersville, NC.  There will even be a “hands-on” exhibit for the kids.  This is not a pure business operation and making money is not the main objective.  I feel a museum is important for the enrichment of the community.

November 29, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, economy, issues, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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