Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Hang in There

If I learned one lesson this week thus far, is. “Don’t give up.”  Things might look bleak today, but the bleakness could be a setup for something good.  I learned other lessons, but had since forgotten what I learned.

For those who are my friend on Facebook, you have probably caught one of my many rants about how poorly I was doing in my NCAA Tournament Bracket.  My record following the first round was 23-9.  It’s not very good for a first round.  (My first round last year was 25-7 and 27-5 in 2010.  This was also the first time that one of the teams I picked to play in the Final Four lost in the first round.  (Damn you, Missouri!).  My second round was horrific as I had a worst-ever 6-10 record in the second round.  I also lost another Final Four pick as Florida State lost to Cincinnati.   I was in the 17th percentile in all of Yahoo.  Most of the people who were behind me were either people who entered but didn’t pick or people who went with totally random entries with a Harvard – Davidson championship game.

Things started turning around the following weekend.  Most of the teams that I had winning in the third round that were still around won.  I was 4-4 (Most of the 4 losses came from games played when I picked both teams who would be in that round wrong).  The best I could get for the Final Four was 2-2.  Two of the teams I picked correctly played each other and I picked the correct winner.  Another game involved a team that I predicted to lose in the fourth round and did.  The other two picks were Kansas and Kentucky.  I had moved up to the 43rd percentile.  Kentucky won their semifinal and Kansas won their semifinal.  I had correctly picked both of those (but against different opponents.)  I had predicted Kentucky would beat Kansas 78-73 (The score was only needed in tiebreaker situations and my tie was broken long before then).  Kentucky won 67-59.  I ended up in the 89th percentile.  Looking back at my bracket, I knew where I was going, but I didn’t know how to get there.  Past brackets were more like I had no idea where I was going but I knew how to get there.

Here is today’s life lesson:  Things might look bleak for you. “Bleak” is a relative term.  Chances are things are more bleak for the people around you.  If they’re better off today, it could be that they have maxed out while you can easily surpass them though you are far behind right now.

If this lesson does not apply to you, tough noogies!  This is the lesson I chose to have learned.  Chances are the lesson you need to learn is one of those I had learned only to later forget.  It couldn’t be that important a lesson so it isn’t that big of a problem.  Smile and move along.


April 3, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 7 Comments


I am having a hard time spending time writing on any one subject largely due to my mother still being here.  If Mitt Romney is the “Etch-a-Sketch” candidate then I am the “Lite-Brite” candidate.  I always say the same thing, but how pretty the message us depends on the colors of the bulbs.

Global Warming – I don’t normally start fighting it until Memorial Day weekend.  I might have to start fighting it soon though.  Today’s high was 77°F (The normal high in northwestern New Jersey on March 22 is 49F°.)

Tim Tebow – For the first time since Joe Namath was a Jet, there are Jets fans west of the Delaware River.  The Jets might not make the Super Bowl even with Tebow, but people are suddenly buying Jets jerseys.  The Broncos bandwagon is now being painted green and white.

Meetings – This week’s campaign meetings were held telepathically.  I have found a Ouija board to be helpful in getting the messages that I miss.

Zombies – I am not sure they are going to be the demographic that I was hoping they would be.  It seems that the Republicans have been campaigning for their votes with the zombie vote being split between Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich.  Mitt Romney is still getting the vampire vote.

NCAA Tournament – My bracket has more red ink than a federal budget.  No further comment is necessary.

I am trying to talk to my father into coming up tomorrow for the weekend.  I don’t want my mother to know that he might be coming up.  (Mom, if you’re reading this, read something else and resume at the next paragraph.)  If this works, I can get back to normal on Monday.  I have to call my father and ask him to pick up my daughter even though my daughter is afraid of him.

Mom, this is where you can resume reading.  You had no business reading the last two sentences of the previous paragraph.  I’ll be done in the morning on business.  If I finish soon enough, I will be going to Washington to pick up Patricia.

I will be doing some campaigning this weekend.  Where I campaign depends on whether my daughter is here or not.  Her ninth birthday was last weekend and I wasn’t allowed to see her so I get her this weekend.  I bought her a cell phone for her birthday so she can work the phone bank for the campaign.  She has an irresistible voice and might be able to get more people to vote for me than the zombies.

I’ll be there in a minute, Mom! …

March 22, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, environment, humor, Personal Life, Republicans, satire, Washington | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Mamma Mia

DISCLAIMER:  This entry has nothing to do with Abba or the musical. 

Yesterday was supposed to be my favorite kind of work day – a day when I can work out of the home.  The office in my home is designed for maximum efficiency.  The less time I have to dilly-daddy looking for stuff, the more time I can spend on the business of my business.

The day was going much smoother than I had planned.  It was looking like I was going to get done with a normal day’s amount of work before 1:00PM.  It would have been a nice start for the weekend.  The doorbell rang at 12:15.  It was my mother…

Something happened between my parents and I am not at liberty to discuss it.  Most of it is because what happened between my parents should be between them and only them.  The other is that my mother sometimes reads this blog and doesn’t like it when I use profanity (even when I am quoting somebody else.)

She drove up here in her car and a trailer hitched behind her.  It was full and contained most of her stuff.  It took me a while to figure out where I was going to put all of her possessions.  I have three bedrooms – one is mine, one is my office, and the other is set up for my daughter Patricia (who I was supposed to pick up last night.)

The weather here is ideal for campaigning all day.  I love taking my daughter on my campaign trips, but I am not as thrilled to take my mom along.  People would rather see children who are happy to be with their daddy than a mother who is always reminding her son about posture.

I’d write more, but it’s time to finish the work I was supposed to finish yesterday.  I just hope my mother likes where I put her sewing machine.  She normally doesn’t like working in a corner, but the corner here has a window and not a wall so it feels like a cubicle.  Then I need to find out a long term solution for my mother.  She’s under 60 years old and probably wants to work.  The other is I live in the boonies and I am not near anything except the community pool (which doesn’t open until Memorial Day weekend) and the gym.

The bright spot about this is that I don’t have time to dwell how poorly my NCAA Tournament bracket is doing this year.

March 17, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments


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