Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Global Warming

Four inches of snow fell in southern Delaware on March 25.

Four inches of global warming snow fell in southern Delaware on March 25.

It’s time that we quit crying out “Global Warming” and “Climate Change.”  As I have stated in the past, climate change is a natural occurrence.  It gets cold in the winter before getting warm in the spring (usually) and hot in the winter before cooling off in the fall.

There are people who point out to data which suggests that the earth is getting warmer.  What they don’t tell you is that the person who initially collect the data has admitted that the data is flawed.  Nobody ever mentions that we got out of the Ice Age long before the American revolution.

For the next few weeks, I will be encouraging global warming.  I will be encouraging it until it starts getting hot.  The fight against global warming will resume after Memorial Day.

I have been campaigning and will continue to campaign though postings have been sparse in recent months.  I will be campaigning in New York City on April 5.  I will be picketing Canada’s latest invasion, the Tim Horton’s in Times Square.  Picketing will begin as soon as I get a day’s supply of Timbits.

 

March 27, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, environment, foreign policy, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Catching Up in Politics

I’m back before I miss too much going on and have to spend an entire weekend blogging.  President Obama is in a heap of trouble.  I will make my endorsement for New York City mayor tonight.

Between “Benghazigate”, The IRS fiasco, an the AP wiretapping mess, you’re probably regretting not voting for me for President last November.  I forgive you.  Just remember this entry in 2016 before you vote for one of the poor choices the Republicans and Democrats will be nominating.  Below is how I would have prevented Obama’s scandals from becoming scandals in an Ahmnodt Heare administration:

Benghazigate: – I wouldn’t have allowed a consulate office to be opened in Benghazi.  This is because like so many other Americans, I never heard of Benghazi before the diplomats were killed.  I would have kept them in Tripoli as long as it was safe.  If it got too risky to stay, I would have gotten the navy to pick them up and ship them across the Mediterranean Sea to Italy.

The IRS: – The IRS has supposedly been targeting certain non-profit organizations that were against the Obama Administration.  To the best of my knowledge, TAMPON (Take All Money Political Out Now) was not targeted because they were considered to be more pro-Ahmnodt Heare and less anti-Barack Obama.  This probably includes businesses that did not make profits because of the Obama administration’s poor fiscal policies.  My policies would make businesses prosper and leave non-profits alone as they don’t make enough money to interest me.

AP Wiretapping: – I don’t know why anybody would wiretap the Associated Press.  The news has sucked for years now.  I don’t know of any stories that were negative against the White House until lately.  I wouldn’t wiretap anybody because I wouldn’t want to get caught.

I have spent some time thinking about who I should endorse for Mayor.  The problem is that I have two friends of my campaign running for mayor.  Jimmy McMillan is one candidate.  Though he hasn’t endorsed my campaign, I agree with him when he says the rent is too damned high.  Anthony Weiner and I don’t see eye-to-eye on all of the issues, but that did not stop him from endorsing me last year. 

The person I am endorsing for mayor doesn’t currently live in New York City, but he had worked in Gotham for years.  He has fought crime better than any of the other candidates.  While he doesn’t currently live in New York, he is currently a mayor of a small town in Rhode Island.  He has had to battle issues like stolen water and sewage dumping, so he is ready to serve the fine people of New York City.

 

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

Adam West for Mayor of New York City

 

May 22, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, endorsement, foreign policy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Catching Up in Politics

Napoleon Bloombergparte

For those of you wandering what “Napoleon Bloombergparte” is all about, it’s a reference to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg when he goes into Napoleon Bonaparte mode.  They both have a lot in common.  They are both short men with power who try to overcome their shortness by showing off their power more than they should.  They both attack others (Napoleon attacked Europe while Bloomberg attacks the lifestyles of New Yorkers he doesn’t like.

Bloomberg’s attack on New Yorkers have included what they eat (trans-fat), drink (large sodas), and smoke (cigarettes).  Just when there wasn’t any enemies left to attack, Bloombergparte has found a new enemy that gets under his crawl.  Those evil, diabolical people who wear earphones when listening to their MP3 players must be stopped!

Mayor Bloomberg claims that people listen to their MP3 players too loud.  He is saying that listening to music too loud can make people deaf.  I have worn earphones in the past in New York City.  The reason why people wear earphones loud is because New York City is a very loud city (especially south of Central Park in Manhattan).  There are a ton of cars, buses, and trucks roaming the streets.  There seems to be some kind of siren echoing the streets every minute.  Subway stations aren’t any better with the noise the trains make as they approach the train stations.

Michael Bloomberg’s act is getting old.  Michael Bloomberg is getting old.  Don’t elect anybody who promises more of the same and get off of Bloomberg’s lawn.

March 7, 2013 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, issues | , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Napoleon Bloombergparte

Behind the Scenes of a New Law

The most evil people in government isn’t who we elect, it’s who they select.  Most politicians aren’t evil.  They are looking out for their futures.  Their motivation is money for their re-election campaigns and helping out their “buddies” who helped them get elected.  It is these “buddies” who are evil.  They are opportunistic and often write the laws that the politicians would pass.

One example is the latest soft drink law passed by New York City’s City Council.  It was a pet project by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and passed by the Council.  The law, which prohibits soft drinks to be sold in open containers larger than 16 fluid ounces in places like movie theaters and restaurants.  A customer can still buy 32 ounces of soda, but it has to be in two 16 ounce cups instead of a big gulp cup.

The official reason why this bill became law is that it “fights obesity.”  If City Council really wanted to fight obesity, they would have also banned larger sized bottles of soda.  They could have banned Twinkies.  They could have mandated exercise.  They didn’t.  There is more to this law that meets the eye.

People aren’t going to movies as often as they used to.  The Cinemafia has to recoup their losses somehow.  People are already complaining about the prices of soda and popcorn in concession stands.  They can’t just quit selling large sodas on their own – it’s too unnatural.  So they talk to their local City Councilperson as a “concerned citizen”.  They claim that people are getting obese because of large soft drinks at movie theaters and at restaurants.  They include restaurants as a guise because restaurants are dead against such a law and the Cinemafia doesn’t want to give the appearance that they will be the only people to benefit from the new law.

How does the Cinemafia benefit from this law?  They benefit by getting more money for soda without raising prices.  A 16-ounce soda goes for about $4.00 while a 32-ounce goes for $5.00.  By emphasizing that the new law allows customers to buy two 16-ounce sodas instead of one 32-ounce soda, they can charge $8.00 instead of the $5.00 they currently get for 32 ounces.

This bill will not combat obesity.  It won’t stop customers from getting obese nor will it do anything to slim the wallets of the Cinemafia.  The next time you hear that someone is a “concerned citizen”, find out why he or she is so concerned.

 

September 16, 2012 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, health care, humor, issues, legislation, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Making Sense of Good News

I stumbled upon some very good news after stumbling upon some very bad news.  First the bad news:  Florida has purged 53,000 dead voters from the voter registration rolls.  This means if I am going to win Florida, I am going to have to campaign to people who are still alive.

The good news comes from the Department of Justice.  They are now telling election clerks not to purge the deceased from the voter rolls in other states.  This is great news for the campaign as long as I am the the only candidate campaigning in cemeteries and in morgues.

My Florida strategy is going to need a ton of work.  I can’t campaign to the deceased anymore because they are being taken off of voter rolls.  Florida has the largest senior citizen population in the country.  Some of them will pass away between now and Election name and their names will be purged.

Florida is also known for Election Day fiascoes.  2000 had counts, recounts, hanging chads, swinging chads, Chad Ochocinco, voter rolls being purged, butterfly ballots, and yuppie riots.  Who knows what will happen in 2012?

It looks like the other 49 states and the District of Columbia will not be purging their voter rolls.  While Democrats in Chicago and Philadelphia might think this is good news, they haven’t been campaigning in cemeteries like my campaign has.  (Though I was roughed up by a couple of Obama supporters in Philadelphia after a graveyard campaign rally.)

I will be campaigning in New York City (to people who are still living) on Wednesday night.  The Southern California Campaign Extravaganza is expecting to get off the ground in the first week of June.

May 20, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, politics, satire, voting | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Word From the Running Mate

My Fellow Americans,

My name is Albee Thayer.  I am honored to have been tapped by Ahmnodt Heare to be his running mate.  (By “tapped” I mean “chosen” not “tapped like a stick to a maple tree for syrup.  I haven’t had the time to introduce myself because I have been busy on my ranch and campaigning here in the Abilene, TX area.

I was born in New York City on November 7, 1958 and grew up in the suburbs.  My father was a junior vice-president at a Wall Street firm and my mother was a history teacher.  They instilled a tough work ethic in me.  I graduated high school a year early and received my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from the Abilene Christian University in only three years.  I later earned my MBA degree in Executive Management at the University of Texas.

I run a 80-acre ranch in the outskirts of Abilene with hundreds of steer and antelope roaming the ranch.  I shared the ranch with my wife Beatrice and our son Tyler until they were killed by a drunk driver in 1998.  I never remarried as I kept busy growing the ranch and trying other business ventures.

A Republican by trade, I became disenfranchised with the party and left in 2002 when they continued the spending the Democrats started.  After taking a look at other parties and even trying to start my own party (If you ever heard of the “Checkbook Party” about 10 years ago, that was the party I started.

I am proud to say that I voted for Ahmnodt Heare in 2008.  He doesn’t know this yet, but I wrote my name in for vice-president because i thought holding both offices is too much for anybody, even Ahmnodt.  My interest in him and his campaign started with his fight against the Cinemafia.  I have had a similar fight with the sports mafia.  I would sometimes make the drive to the Dallas – Fort Worth area to see the Cowboys and the Stars.  I became outraged by the ever-increasing prices to see the game as well as food and beer (which is way more expensive than at a bar or church and is watered down.)  At least the Cinemafia doesn’t charge for parking.  It was $20 the last time I went to Texas Stadium in 2007.

Ahmnodt will be back tomorrow.  He is currently traveling through New Hampshire campaigning in small towns near the border with Canada.  He will be back tomorrow with updates from the trail.  If you have any questions about me, feel free to ask them in the comments section below.

Sincerely,

Albee Thayer

Independent Write-In Candidate for Vice President

January 12, 2012 Posted by | Albee, campaign, entertainment, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Campaigning in NYC

I will be campaigning in Manhattan and Brooklyn this Sunday.  I will have some down time between campaign stops.  I was going to go to squeeze in another stop between Manhattan and Brooklyn, but Omaha is too far away.  I’ll try Omaha in a couple of weeks.

I’ll be in front of the Port Authority Bus Terminal across the street from the NY Times building at 10:00AM.  It seems to be a good place to talk about my lack of a position on capital punishment.  From there I will walk to Central Park where I will discuss my smoking platform and why winners never quit.

Brooklyn will be the place to be in the afternoon.  There are a few things I have to work out first.  The first is where in Brooklyn I will campaign in the afternoon.  The other problem is that I don’t have a topic to talk about.  This is because I have never been in Brooklyn.  The Dodgers are no longer there and the Nets are not there yet.  I am leaning towards health care, but I want to make sure the subject matches the audience.  I know not to talk about the environment.  Trees are so scarce in Brooklyn that when a tree grows there, somebody writes a book about it.

If you live in Manhattan or Brooklyn and you want me to campaign in your neighborhood, contact me either tonight or Saturday.  (Sorry, Omaha.)

March 11, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, environment, humor, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Campaigning in NYC

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