Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Thwarted Plans

Next weekend was supposed to be my weekend to have my daughter.  But since next Saturday is Vanna White’s birthday, I could not do that.  After much discussion, it was agreed that I will have custody this weekend.  I will also have to pick her up next Sunday for the mid-winter recess.  This is not where the plans are thwarted.

My father has tickets for CPAC this weekend and Patricia and I will be with my father at CPAC.  I was hoping to be campaigning for their straw poll that will be taken towards the end of the conference.  (Here is the thwart) – voting this year will be done electronically with no provisions for write-ins.  The only way I will be able to win the straw poll is if I change my name to Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, or Rick Santorum.  (Ron Paul was not invited this year because CPAC wants somebody else to win the straw poll, even if he can’t beat Obama or me in a real election.)

I am leaving for Washington tonight.  I am thinking of moving back to the DC area.  (Too many New York Giants, Rangers, and Mets fans here in New Jersey.)  I will be looking for prices for a small two-bedroom condo to own or rent) and a small office to lease.  Below is my new business card:

Just to make it clear, the entire picture is the business card and not just what is being typed.  I had it made by Vista Print.  I am using my campaign phone number as my business phone for now because I don’t have a regular business phone and couldn’t decide between using my cell phone or my home phone as a business phone.  I also didn’t want to get another phone just for the business because I hate phones.

Off to CPAC I Go!  If you watch on C-SPAN on either Saturday or Sunday and you hear somebody yawn, it is probably me.

February 9, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Personal Life, politics, satire, Washington | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Contest Results

There really isn’t too much to say that I didn’t say in the video.  I had to shave my head and beard because I lost a bet to a New York Mets fan.  The Nationals were leading the Mets last night 3-2 in the top of the night.  I had bet that the Nationals would hold the lead and win the game.  The Mets won the game 6-3.  😦

April 28, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor | , , | 8 Comments

Defending a Loyal Supporter

I have to admit that who I am defending here isn’t just a loyal supporter, he is my campaign manager.  He has a habit of making bonehead decisions.  Some of those bonehead decisions have involved my campaign.  Let’s just say I won’t be campaining in Liechtenstein any time soon.

There was something he posted in a New York Mets fan page on Facebook.  (Why he’s a Mets fan is beyond my comprehension, but I digress.)  It was in a reply to a high school pitcher throwing his fourth consecutive no-hitter and fellow Mets fans suggesting the Mets try to sign him.  For some reason, some people took it as a racist remark, but I did not.  Below is his comment:

“If he becomes a Mexican or Dominican citizen, he could pitch for the Mets now.”

It is said that New York fans are knowledgeable about sports.  They just don’t know who to root for.  (Go Nationals!)  The key word that he said in his quote is “citizen.”  It is key because of current Major League Baseball rules.  Major League rules prohibit a U.S. ball ballplayer from being drafted before his 18th birthday.  Teams are allowed to draft players from Latin American countries when the player turns 16 years old.

People responding to the post  did not see the word “citizen”  and jumped on the “Mexican” and “Dominican” comments.  One of them further suggested that the poster was unaware that Omar Minaya was no longer the General Manager of the Mets.  Some people have accused Minaya of favoring Latino players as free agents.  The original post does not suggest that the Mets favor Latino players. He later explained that the Mets should try to get the player (a non-Latino) to become a citizen of a Latin America country.

It’s funny how so many things end up like a Three’s Company episode.

April 20, 2011 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, scandal | , , , , , | 6 Comments

Potholes

I had to deal with potholes this weekend (literally and figuratively.)  Both paid a toll on me this weekend:

Literally –  I got a little bit lost driving to CitiField with my parents and my daughter.  (They came up from Washington for the weekend.)  There are two things I noticed about the neighborhood around the stadium:  1) There are a LOT of potholes. and 2) There are a LOT of junkyards and auto body shops.    My car hit a number of potholes and ended up spending overnight at a local body shop.

Figuratively – CitiField allows people to send a message to the big board and people can see the message they texted.  My parents and I all texted “AHMNODT HEARE FOR PRESIDENT”, but none of our texts were shown.  “i ❤ nikki” was shown three times.  I don’t know if the Mets have their own presidential candidate (for their sake, I hope it’s a better candidate than Bernie Madoff was as their financial advisor).  I was also stopped from handing out campaign material after the game.

Getting my parents and daughter wasn’t too much of a problem because CitiField is near LaGuardia Airport and they were able to take a commuter flight home.  Getting me home was a different story.  I live nowhere near public transportation.  My night was spent in Manhattan at the Crown Royale Plaza.

I picked up my car yesterday late in the afternoon and ended up going to another game.  The Mets lost again, and that made my Nationals cap stick out like a sore thumb.  (The Mets played the Colorado Rockies last night after playing my Nationals on Sunday.)  It was after midnight when I finally arrived home.

April 12, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor | , , , , | 4 Comments

My “Al Michaels Moment”

“Do you believe in miracles?…  YES!!” – Al Michaels

I didn’t get to watch the 1980 Olympic hockey game between the United States and the former Soviet Union.  I was in the first grade and had a strict bedtime of 8:00PM.  I had this bedtime until I graduated from high school, when my bedtime was moved up to 9:00. But I remember hearing my father tell me that we beat the Soviet Union the following morning.  I finally heard Al Michael’s quote just before the gold medal game between the United States and Finland, I got excited, as if I actually saw the entire game.

It would have been cool to watch that game.  The next best game would be to to find a game that Al Michael’s quote could be applied.  The game was between the Nationals and the New York Mets.  It shouldn’t have reached miracle status because rookie phenom  Stephen Strasburg was pitching against a 35-year knuckleballer R.A. Dickey.  One is a dominant pitcher with a 100 mile-per-hour fastball while the other throws a knuckleball in two speeds: slow and not-so-slow.

Strasburg didn’t have his best stuff today.  He allowed 2 runs on four hits along with three walks.  He would last only five innings and leave with the Nationals losing 2-0.  While Strasburg struggled, Dickey and his knuckleball breezed throw the first five innings and allowed only two singles.

The tide starting to turn a bit in favor of the Nationals.  The Nats’ bullpen held the Mets in check and the batters started getting to Dickey in the sixth inning, tying the game at 2.  The eighth inning was a nightmare.  Tyler Clippard pitched 2/3 of an inning.  In that short span, he allowed three runs on four hits.  Doug Slaten stopped the bleeding, but the damage was done.  The Mets lead 5-2.

The Nationals managed to manufacture a run in the bottom of the eighth and Matt Capps retired the Mets in order in the top of the ninth, making the score 5-3.  Then the miracle happened.  The Nats was facing the Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez.  The bases were quickly loaded when Adam Dunn tied the game with a double to deep center field that hit the tippy top of the fence.  Josh Willingham was walked intentionally to reload the bases for Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez.  Pudge blooped a single to right and the Nationals scored the winning run and won 6-5.

Why was this a miracle?  Because even with this win, the Nationals are in last place 12 1/2 games behind the Braves.  This is the first time inthe last 40 games the Nationals trailed after the eighth inning that they won.  My father was at the game and the Nationals never seem to win when my father goes to games.

“Do you believe in miracles?…  YES!!” – Ahmnodt Heare (via Al Michaels)

July 4, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Hey Mets and Yankees Fans!

This message is for those going to the Subway Series tonight or tomorrow night at CitiField.  It does not matter if you are a Mets fan or a Yankees fan, what matters is that you bring signs supporting the campaign.

The signs should be large enough to be seen on television, but not so large that they obstruct the views of others at the game.  Proper spelling is also important, as my candidacy is a write-in campaign.  Below is an example of what I am looking for as demonstrated by a Philadelphia Eagles fan in 2008:

I wish I could be at tonight’s game, but I promised my friends in the band G.W. Toye that I would see them perform tonight at the Vernon Inn in Vernon, NJ.  Hope to see you there if you’re not going to have a sign at the game!

May 22, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor | , , , , , | Comments Off on Hey Mets and Yankees Fans!

When it Rains, it Pours!

I was all set to have internet installed in my new condo today.  The internet installer came over to install the internet.  He placed the router right where I wanted it to go.  When it came time to test the connection, it did not work.  He went through the most extensive troubleshooting i have ever seen.  (I think he is a supporter, but he wouldn’t say.  He did say he has heard of me.)  He tested the line to the router, the line to the pole, and the router.  It turns out that the router is defective.

Franz went back to his van to try another router, but there were none in the truck.  He called his office, but the company was out-of-stock on routers and will not be getting a shipment in until next Wednesday.  My appointment is now next Thursday.

I had to find a WiFi hot spot to email a client a final project that had to be received by 5:00.   It took me a while to find a spot, but I found one.  I would soon find out that it was on a DSL modem, which takes longer to upload than cable modems.  I also somehow managed to bring my power cord.

There were a few large components to the project.  There was the PowerPoint presentation that my client would show to his client.  There were three 30-second radio ads (one of which was in Spanish), three television ads (one of which was in Spanish) and a 30-minute infomercial in HD.  It was over 200MB of files I had to send.  It took about 45 minutes and I was just about to have it sent when the battery in the laptop died.

Frantic attempts to borrow somebody else’s power cord were unsuccessful.  I had to rush home, get the power cord, head back, and upload everything again.  I arrived just before 4:00 PM and started over.  The uploading was taking a lot longer.  There were teenagers downloading videos and songs.  All I could do was wonder what Don Mills would do in this situation, but my mind drew a blank.  That would mean I am somewhere between the age of a teenager and the age of Mr. Mills.

The project was emailed 15 minutes late.  I lost that client and a client he would have set me up with had all this not occurred.

The night ended on a good note though.  I got to watch my Washington Nationals beat the New York Mets at a bar here in Vernon, NJ with a bunch of Mets fans.  Once in a while, it feels good to be the only person leaving a bar with a smile.

May 19, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor | , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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