Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Weekend Itinerary

It’s back to the campaign trail this weekend.  I will be along the western banks of the Hudson River speaking to various groups:

Saturday

12:00PM – Highland Falls, NY – I will be speaking to a senior citizen group called “SAWAC” (Seniors for Access to Whips And Chains).  I will be addressing this active senior group plans to make the equipment they need more easily accessible.  The speech will be short so I don’t hold them up for their daily naps.

1:30PM – West Haverstraw, NY – I will organize a speech in front of the motor vehicles office explaining my motor vehicle department plan.

3:00PM – Nyack, NY – I will wonder aimlessly through the streets of Nyack and hopefully figure out what the hell they are thinking about.  I hope this won’t take too long.

4:30PM – NY/NJ border on U.S. 9W – I will try to bring peace to the border after a tough NHL Eastern Conference final.  Rangers fans and Devils fans were in each others’ faces and has made life difficult for those of us who think both teams suck.  (LET’S GO CAPS!!!)  By Caps, I mean the Washington Capitals, not typing in all caps.  I only typed in caps because I always yell when I say that.

6:00PM – Fort Lee, NJ – I will be at the western end of the George Washington Bridge discouraging people from jumping.  I won’t mention my campaign to anybody who is thinking about jumping until they are convinced that jumping off the bridge is not the answer and the meds they will probably have to take start kicking in.

8:00PM – Hoboken, NJ – My last stop tomorrow will involve a seance with fellow Hobokeners and trying to summon the spirit of Hoboken’s favorite son, Frank Sinatra.  I am confident he will endorse my campaign posthumously.

Sunday I will be hitting the Wal-Marts in Franklin and Newton, NJ – Monroe and Middletown, NY – Milford, Honesdale, and Dickson City, PA.  I will be showing my appreciation to Wal-Mart associates who keep prices low for working for less.  Workers who smoke will be given a cigarette as a token of my appreciation.

I’ll be going to bed soon because I have a long weekend ahead.

June 1, 2012 Posted by | campaign, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Thwarted Plans

Next weekend was supposed to be my weekend to have my daughter.  But since next Saturday is Vanna White’s birthday, I could not do that.  After much discussion, it was agreed that I will have custody this weekend.  I will also have to pick her up next Sunday for the mid-winter recess.  This is not where the plans are thwarted.

My father has tickets for CPAC this weekend and Patricia and I will be with my father at CPAC.  I was hoping to be campaigning for their straw poll that will be taken towards the end of the conference.  (Here is the thwart) – voting this year will be done electronically with no provisions for write-ins.  The only way I will be able to win the straw poll is if I change my name to Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, or Rick Santorum.  (Ron Paul was not invited this year because CPAC wants somebody else to win the straw poll, even if he can’t beat Obama or me in a real election.)

I am leaving for Washington tonight.  I am thinking of moving back to the DC area.  (Too many New York Giants, Rangers, and Mets fans here in New Jersey.)  I will be looking for prices for a small two-bedroom condo to own or rent) and a small office to lease.  Below is my new business card:

Just to make it clear, the entire picture is the business card and not just what is being typed.  I had it made by Vista Print.  I am using my campaign phone number as my business phone for now because I don’t have a regular business phone and couldn’t decide between using my cell phone or my home phone as a business phone.  I also didn’t want to get another phone just for the business because I hate phones.

Off to CPAC I Go!  If you watch on C-SPAN on either Saturday or Sunday and you hear somebody yawn, it is probably me.

February 9, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Personal Life, politics, satire, Washington | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Ultimate Show of Support

On Monday, November 30, come join us at Madison Square Garden in New York City as the New York Rangers host the defending Stanley Cup Champions Pittsburgh Penguins.  We will try to get as many supporters as possible to show off our tattoos of support facing the rink.

Come to Madison Square Garden on November 30 and show your support for Independent Presidential Candidate Ahmnodt Heare!

Come to Madison Square Garden on November 30 and show your support for Independent Presidential Candidate Ahmnodt Heare!

Game time is 7:00PM.

October 2, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, endorsement, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Go Capitals!

Sometimes I get so busy doing things in my campaign, I don’t have time to pay attention to the Washington DC sports teams.  And now that I am in the New York metropolitan area, I have fewer opportunities.  I caught the first four games of the Capitals’ series against the Rangers before being busy campaigning.  Alex Ovechkin and the Caps roared back from a three-games-to-one deficit to win the series.   I hope Simeon Varlamov stays healthy.  If he gets hurt and we go back to Jose Theodore, then we’re screwed.

Go Caps Go!

May 5, 2009 Posted by | Washington | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

%d bloggers like this: