Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

An Open Letter to ESPN

April 2, 2011

Dear ESPN Programming Doofus:

I am not just a presidential candidate, I am a baseball fan.  To be precise, I am a Washington Nationals fan.  I am writing because I have taken a peek at the Sunday Night Baseball schedule and I am not happy.

It seems you like to oversaturate your programming with Yankees and Red Sox games.  That series gets old after a while (Especially after Fox always broadcasts the Saturday game the day before.  There are many other series that are more interesting.

I understand that the Nationals are not a very good team right now and that they’re not going to get a lot of national airtime.  How about a Twins-Rangers game?  They both won their divisions last year.  Dare I say that both of those teams are better than this year’s Yankees without being ridiculed?

Better yet, show the National League some love.  After all, the defending world champions are the San Francisco Giants (a National League Team).  The National League plays real baseball where the pitchers get to bat.  The American League has the Designated Hitter and is for pitchers with no genitals for batting.  (I’d write, “balls” but my mother reads this blog.)

If you need any help with this, I will be happy to assist.  Before you know it, you will be enjoying higher ratings.

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt Heare

Independent Candidate for President (Write-In)

Baseball (Washington Nationals) Fan

April 2, 2011 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , | 6 Comments

Hey Mets and Yankees Fans!

This message is for those going to the Subway Series tonight or tomorrow night at CitiField.  It does not matter if you are a Mets fan or a Yankees fan, what matters is that you bring signs supporting the campaign.

The signs should be large enough to be seen on television, but not so large that they obstruct the views of others at the game.  Proper spelling is also important, as my candidacy is a write-in campaign.  Below is an example of what I am looking for as demonstrated by a Philadelphia Eagles fan in 2008:

I wish I could be at tonight’s game, but I promised my friends in the band G.W. Toye that I would see them perform tonight at the Vernon Inn in Vernon, NJ.  Hope to see you there if you’re not going to have a sign at the game!

May 22, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor | , , , , , | Comments Off on Hey Mets and Yankees Fans!

   

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