Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Hold On Tight!

I think I am back for good.  Much has happened since I have last blogged.  While Pope Benedict XVI has resigned, Barack Obama hasn’t.  My move is set for either the end of this month or the beginning of next month.

The sequester has kicked in.  This is bad news for middle-class and lower-class Americans.  Lobbyists, bankers, and defense contractors have nothing to worry about as they have spent enough on Congress to make sure the sequester doesn’t affect them.

The news networks have lost credibility with me.  With so much going on in the world, they are wasting their resources (and our time) on pieces like “Gallon Smashing” and “Goat Edition” of songs.  I am thinking the Cinemafia has infiltrated the news networks and making sure that nothing is ever mentioned about the increasing prices or decreasing quality of movies ever again.

I will resume full-time campaigning the first week of May.  By then, even many Obama supporters will want him out and will want an alternative to what we have had for the last 10-20 years.

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March 4, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, media, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Hold On Tight!

2013 as it Happens

I haven’t posted too much lately here because I am on a year-long project summarizing 2013 as it happens.  I will still give (albeit sporadically) political commentary.  I will post tomorrow either tomorrow or Saturday what my cabinet would look like.  I will also alert you of any upcoming campaign trip as well as summarize any trip if for some bizarre reason you cannot attend a given event.

January 10, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, politics | , , , , | Comments Off on 2013 as it Happens

Observations on Recent Events

I spent most of today trying to catch up on what has been happening in the news since Election Day.  I haven’t watched the news because I have been vacationing and I had custody of my daughter for most of the last week.  Below is my synopsis of some recent events:

  • Colorado and Washington legalizing marijuana for recreational use –  I support this and on the surface this is good news.  There is bad news and I will explain that later.
  • Petraeusgate – Former CIA Director David Petraeus resigned following a much-publicized sex scandal.  My campaign could use publicity like that.  I am not below admitting that I can use the sex.
  • Israel vs. Hamas and the Palestinians – I have received heat for what I am about to say in the past, but it bears repeating.  The United States should not get involved in the conflict until the Canadian dilemma is settled.  Canadian spies like William Shatner, Celine Dion, and Justin Bieber infiltrating and sabotaging the Great American Entertainment Industry must be deported and American entertainment must be restored to its greatness.
  • Hostess Closing Down – This is bad news on many levels.  I blame the marketing team for the folding of the company.  While it is easy to blame the management for being overpaid or the unions for wanting too much, I blame the marketing team for undervaluing their products.  I would have sold Twinkees at 40% higher than the suggested retail price.  They were at least that much better than Little Debbie’s.  Legalizing marijuana just isn’t the same withoout munching on Twinkees or Ho-Ho’s.

Tonight is my last night in Virginia Beach.  I head to my parents’ home in Washington, DC tomorrow for Thanksgiving week and head home Friday afternoon.

November 18, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, editorial, humor, issues, satire, scandal, War | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Observations on Recent Events

Here Now the News

I am able to pick up on most things before anything else.  What I was told today seemed to be one of those things I should have figured out right away, but ended up being the last person to know.  (Like the person who finds out his or her spouse has been cheating for years.)  I was told today that the media will make ANYTHING a news story just to make sure word of my candidacy and my campaign never makes it to the news.

There is a lot happening in the world, but three stories have been dominating the news all week.  One is somewhat understandable as it involves the President of the United States (The current one, Barack Obama, not the future one, Ahmnodt Heare.)  President Obama had flipped-flopped “evolved” his views about gay marriage and decided to favor it.  “Tanorexic Mom” and “Stripper Hot Dog Vendor” were also news stories, though neither of those stories will affect more than four or five people.  The latter two stories are only news stories because the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know I am a candidate for the President of the United States.  I believe this is because the same people who own the news networks also own the motion picture studios.

The alternative media hasn’t treated my campaign any better.  Instead of focusing on people who can solve problems (me), they chose to conjure all kinds of conspiracy theories.  Everything from the “second shooter” to “inside job” to “new Coke” were discussed in painful detail with little chance to hear the solutions I have to offer.

It is this reason (among others) that I have said in the past to “Tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.”  The media won’t mention me, and because I am not a millionaire, I still have to work for a living and cannot campaign 24 hours a day 7 days a week like Obama or Romney.  I can’t give speeches on the floor of the House of Representatives like Ron Paul.  I can’t even find a boot that fits on my head like Vermin Supreme.  I am just one man on a mission to make America better than Belarus.

May 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, media, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Safe and Sound

If you watched the news today, you might have heard about a nudie bar in New Jersey that was robbed by armed robbers and had taken the girls working there as hostages.  I was not at the bar at that time.  I would have posted this sooner, but I was at a different nudie bar and just heard about this now.

Nick the club manager was pistol-whipped but is now doing fine.  I haven’t heard about the hostages or the robbers, but will update when I hear something.

I will have to use some discretion when going to nudie bars in the future.  Security will be a priority, especially in the bars where the girls aren’t that hot.

April 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, satire | , , , | 9 Comments

Off to a Bad Start

This working / medical testing / campaigning / vacation trip has gone off to a bad start.  I had arrived at my destination and finished unpacking when I realized I had forgotten my phone.  (I did remember my charger this time.)  I also forgot my calendar of what I was supposed to do while I am here (and when.)  I know about the parade tomorrow afternoon, but there is currently a 70% chance of rain and I am not sure if this is a “rain-or-shine” parade or a “Rain Date next Sunday” parade.

I also forgot my food and medication.  There is nothing special about my food, but I like to plan meals for days at a time.  Portion control plays a key part in my weight maintenance program.  I have already gone overboard by eating a large pizza pie and a calzone for lunch.  I’ll be heading out for an “All-you-can-eat” buffet for dinner tonight.

The weird thing is I have been watching more news than I normally have.  The more news I watch, the less I know what is going on in the political world.  The only thing I got from politics this week is that Rick Santorum said that something was “Bull****”.  I wasn’t sure what came after the “Bull” because the news networks kept bleeping it out.

With less news watching and more life doing, I should soon regain my pulse on what is happening in the political world.  Yay!

March 31, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Stay Informed

This has nothing to do with my campaign, but where you get your news.  If you are getting your news from the mainstream media, you aren’t really getting any useful information for decisions you need to make in your life.  The past week, the mainstream media has concentrated pretty much exclusively on Whitney Houston, Gary Carter and Jeremy Lin.  They also mentioned that gas prices have gone up.  (If you have bought gasoline in the last month, you already knew that.

Here is some of what you missed:

  • Shenanigans in Maine might cost Mitt Romney his win in the Maine Caucuses.  It seems that the GOP in Maine has failed to record the votes in many districts where Ron Paul won a specific caucus.  This includes almost an entire county.
  • Iran has cut oil to European countries who get oil in Iran.  This will raise the demand for oil from the countries the United States gets oil from and drive up gas prices to around five dollars per gallon.
  • A man had a heart attack while eating a burger called the “Triple Bypass” at a place called the “Heart Attack Grill” in Las Vegas.  (Finally, truth in advertising!)
  • Vanna White’s birthday!   It was yesterday, which was why I didn’t blog yesterday.  Kudos to my running mate Albee Thayer for writing yesterday’s blog entry.

I get my news from the links on the right underneath “News.”  People who follow other sites tell me what is happening as well.  I am pretty well covered for information the mainstream media doesn’t provide me.

February 19, 2012 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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