Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2014 NFL Season – Week 1

I haven’t done this since 2012, so this could get interesting.  I watched football in 2013, but I didn’t have time to make predictions.  If I was to predict with my heart, I would have been saddened from all the times I would have picked the Redskins to win.  This has nothing to do with running for President of the United States except to show that I am more like you than any of the major candidates who will run in 2016.

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
9/4 8:35 ET At Seattle -5.5 Green Bay
9/7 1:00 ET New Orleans -3 At Atlanta
9/7 1:00 ET At St. Louis -3.5 Minnesota
9/7 1:00 ET At Pittsburgh -6.5 Cleveland
9/7 1:00 ET At Philadelphia -10.5 Jacksonville
9/7 1:00 ET At NY Jets -5 Oakland
9/7 1:00 ET At Baltimore -2 Cincinnati
9/7 1:00 ET At Chicago -7 Buffalo
9/7 1:00 ET At Houston -3 Washington
9/7 1:00 ET At Kansas City -4 Tennessee
9/7 1:00 ET New England -5 At Miami
9/7 4:25 ET At Tampa Bay -2.5 Carolina
9/7 4:25 ET San Francisco -5 At Dallas
9/7 8:30 ET At Denver -7.5 Indianapolis

Monday Night Football Point Spread

       
9/8 7:10 ET At Detroit -6 NY Giants
9/8 10:25 ET At Arizona -3 San Diego

 

Projected winners in bold – Best bets in italics.
Record last week: (0-0) Record for Season (0-0)
Best Bets last week: (0-0) Best Bets for season: (0-0)

I will give my reasoning for the best bets upon request if asked in the comments section. 

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September 4, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, NFL Picks | , , | 1 Comment

2012 NFL Season – Week 12

Last Week:6-8 (.429) Best Bets: 3-0 (1.000)
Season to Date: 73-86-1 (.459) Best Bets: 17-15-1 (.533)

If you have been relying on my picks to make yourself some easy money, you are even dumber than I am.  This goes for those who bet everything I pick or everything against what I pick.  Even I don’t bet on my picks.

Tomorrow will be a great Thanksgiving.  I will be at my parents’ home (my childhood home) in Washington DC and watch the Washington Redskins beat the Dallas Cowboys with my father.  Speaking of Thanksgiving, I think there should be Cranberry Pop-Tarts available for Thanksgiving.  I think they would sell well.

Happy Thanksgiving from what remains of the Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
11/22 12:30 ET Houston -3 At Detroit
11/22 4:15 ET At Dallas -3 Washington
11/22 8:20 ET New England -7 At NY Jets
11/25 1:00 ET At Cincinnati -8 Oakland
11/25 1:00 ET Pittsburgh -1 At Cleveland
11/25 1:00 ET At Indianapolis -3 Buffalo
11/25 1:00 ET Denver -10.5 At Kansas City
11/25 1:00 ET Tennessee -3 At Jacksonville
11/25 1:00 ET At Chicago -2.5 Minnesota
11/25 1:00 ET Atlanta -1 At Tampa Bay
11/25 1:00 ET Seattle -3 At Miami
11/25 4:05 ET Baltimore -1 At San Diego
11/25 4:25 ET San Francisco -2 At New Orleans
11/25 4:25 ET At Arizona -2.5 St. Louis
11/25 8:30 ET At NY Giants -2.5 Green Bay

   Monday Night Football Point Spread

11/26 8:40 ET At Philadelphia -2 Carolina

November 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, NFL Picks, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 2012 NFL Season – Week 12

An Open Letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell

Dear Commissioner Goodell:

My name is Ahmnodt Heare and I am a lifelong NFL fan. (Hail to the Redskins!)  I like football so much that I would even sit through a Jaguars-Browns game if it was on television.  I have watched every Super Bowl since Super Bowl XVI (I might have watched earlier Super Bowls, but I was too young to remember watching them.)

I think you are by far the best commissioner in professional sports.  (I plan on writing an open letter rant to NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman tomorrow in case you ever need to know how NOT to commission a league.)  Your overall good job aside, I am saddened by the current lockout of the NFL officials.

You constantly talk about the integrity of the game and have done much to maintain the integrity.  I think you fumbled the ball with the locking out of the officials, though.  It is hard to maintain integrity in the game when some of the replacement officials do not even know the rules of the game.  In last Monday night’s game between the Atlanta Falcons and the Denver Broncos, there was a defensive holding play against the Falcons.  A defensive holding penalty should be five yards.  They marched off eleven yards.  I believe that they intended to count off ten, but counted the yardage incorrectly  Ed Hochuli would have never allowed this to happen.

Officiating in sports is not easy.  I was once an umpire in a local church softball league.  I have gotten my share of calls on the field incorrect.  But I always awarded a walk to the batter after four balls (never three or five) and issue an out after the third strike (never after two or four.)

The National Football League is the best-ran league with the beat football players and the best fans.  The players and fans deserve the best officials.  Thank you for reading this letter.

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt F.N. Heare

Lifelong Redskins fan and candidate for President of the United States.

P.S. If you please get me a pair of complementary tickets for the Redskins-Giants game at MetLife Stadium on October 21, it would be greatly appreciated.

September 24, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , | 6 Comments

2012 NFL Season – Week 3

Last Week: 6-10 (.375) Best Bets: 1-2 (.333)

Season to Date: 11-21 (.344) Best Bets: 1-5 (.167)

I am sorry this is late.  I posted the pick for last night’s game in the comments for Week 2 (and got that one wrong too.)  If I knew anything about football, I wouldn’t know anything about how to run a country. The Giants were a 3.5 point favorite in Carolina and chose the Panthers; thus making me 0-1 thus far in week 3.  One could make an argument that I had a worse week than Mitt Romney.

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
9/23 1:00 ET At Chicago -7.5 St. Louis
9/23 1:00 ET At Dallas -8 Tampa Bay
9/23 1:00 ET San Francisco -6.5 At Minnesota
9/23 1:00 ET Detroit -3.5 At Tennessee
9/23 1:00 ET At Washington -3 Cincinnati
9/23 1:00 ET NY Jets -2.5 At Miami
9/23 1:00 ET At New Orleans -8.5 Kansas City
9/23 1:00 ET Buffalo -3 At Cleveland
9/23 1:00 ET At Indianapolis -3 Jacksonville
9/23 4:05 ET Philadelphia -3.5 At Arizona
9/23 4:05 ET At San Diego -3 Atlanta
9/23 4:25 ET Houston -2 At Denver
9/23 4:25 ET Pittsburgh -4 At Oakland
9/23 8:25 ET At Baltimore -2.5 New England

   Monday Night Football Point Spread

9/24 8:35 ET Green Bay -3 At Seattle

September 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, NFL Picks, Romney | , , | Comments Off on 2012 NFL Season – Week 3

What I Have Learned From Tim Tebow

Jets fans take heart. If you ignore the mechanics and look at the results, Tebow did lead a 1-4 team to the playoffs and did throw for 316 yards in a playoff game against a stingy defense.

Ahmnodt Heare for President

My father always says, “Whether you can or you can’t, you have to do it, so do it!”  the premise behind that thinking is that if you don’t dwell on thinking that something can’t be done, you will spend time thinking on how to get it done.  I see a lot of that in Tim Tebow.  He is hardly accurate throwing the ball and people question his ability to compete in the NFL.  He runs a lot for a quarterback, but he’s not very fast.  Despite these glaring shortcomings, he keeps winning.  But how?

I have been looking through Denver Broncos highlights and I watched the last couple games.  Here is what I have learned:

  • He doesn’t give up – He is a firm believer of “It’s not over until it’s over,”  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” and countless other cliches that coaches tell their players.

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March 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Sports Programming Retards

Before you say anything, I am going to tell you how I define “retard” so my e-mail isn’t filled with hate mail.  I do not mean people who are mentally challenged.  They should not be made fun of.  I mean people who can think, but opt not to.  Those people should be made fun of, insulted, whatever it takes to get them to THINK!

The object of promoting sports is to promote the sport.  It sounds simple, but it goes over so many heads in the sports programming world.  This means putting the best games on TV and scheduling sports doubleheaders so that the second game can be seen in its entirely after the first game.

Saturday:  SNY (Sportsnet New York) had a college basketball doubleheader on their network.  The first game was Northern Colorado at Marquette at 4:00PM.  The second game was South Carolina State at Pittsburgh.  These are hardly marquee games (games this time of year are usually top-tier teams playing against weaker teams to fatten the win-loss records of the stronger team.  This is a time honored tradition.

At 6:00, Marquette was leading Northern Colorado 80-60 with five minutes remaining.  (Marquette would win 93-52.)  Instead of relieving viewers of five minutes of bad basketball, they should have switched to the South Carolina State-Pittsburgh game.  SNY ended up showing Northern Colorado fouling Marquette players so they could limit them to two point plays and try to overcome a 20-point deficit by shooting a bunch of three-point baskets.  Fouls stop the clock.  I could rant at Northern Colorado for thinking they could come back, but when one plays a game, one is never supposed to give up.)

By the time the Northern Colorado-Marquette game ended, the South Carolina State-Pittsburgh game was already halfway through the first half in a tight (at the time) game.  Pittsburgh ended up winning by a sizable margin, but they didn’t get it going until the second half.

My beef on Sunday was with CBS.  The last seven games of the season are subject to having one of the Sunday afternoon games switched to Sunday evening before a national audience on NBC.  The game NBC ended up showing last night was Baltimore at San Diego.  Rumor had it that NBC and the NFL wanted to show the New England at Denver game in that slot, but CBS and Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft nixed the deal.  I don’t know why Kraft was against it, but CBS was against it because it would have been the highest rated game with the most viewers.  The only problem is that the Patriots-Broncos game was not shown in New York City (CBS’s largest local market.)  People in New York were subject to watching the Jets get slaughtered by the Eagles.

Here is how to promote sports:

College basketball – Have a doubleheader, but schedule the games 2 1/2 hours apart.  The time between games can have a studio team who can split the time between games dissecting the previous game and previewing the upcoming game.

NFL Football – Change the late afternoon games to 4:30PM Eastern.  If there is a marquee game and a local game scheduled at the same time, sell the broadcasting rights of the local game to a television station in the local area.  There will still be a market for NFL Sunday ticket for Washington Redskins fans like me who don’t live in the market and know the Redskins aren’t going to be the marquee game very often, but still want to watch their game.

Schedule better, don’t be afraid to break away from a bad game to show another game in its entirety, and show viewers that you really want viewers.  This is my advice for the sports programming retards.

December 19, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What I Have Learned From Tim Tebow

My father always says, “Whether you can or you can’t, you have to do it, so do it!”  the premise behind that thinking is that if you don’t dwell on thinking that something can’t be done, you will spend time thinking on how to get it done.  I see a lot of that in Tim Tebow.  He is hardly accurate throwing the ball and people question his ability to compete in the NFL.  He runs a lot for a quarterback, but he’s not very fast.  Despite these glaring shortcomings, he keeps winning.  But how?

I have been looking through Denver Broncos highlights and I watched the last couple games.  Here is what I have learned:

  • He doesn’t give up – He is a firm believer of “It’s not over until it’s over,”  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” and countless other cliches that coaches tell their players.
  • He has his team believing they can win (even with him at quarterback) and people tend to do more when they know their objective can be reached.
  • He stays out of trouble (on and off the field) – He doesn’t do drugs, drink, or hang out at the mall or the library.  On the field, he doesn’t fumble, throw the ball to the bad guys, or do stupid things that hurt the team.

This is what I have learned:

  • I gave up once, but I took back down and am preparing for the pitfalls I expect in the 2012 campaign.  I’m not going to win by doing things the traditional way.  This is why my campaign is unconventional – I am campaigning to my strengths.
  • While I am not sure how many people think I can win, I do know many Americans think I am a better candidate than either Obama or any of the Republican candidates.
  • I stay out of trouble (on and off the campaign trail) – I don’t take campaign money from big business (or from anybody else as is evident by the lack of a “PayPal” button on this website.)  And I only patronize legitimate nudie bars recognized by the law.

I wish Tim Tebow luck for the rest of this season as well as in his career.  I have already learned much from him and look forward to learning more.

December 14, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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