There has been a lot going on in my life the last year that had taken away valuable campaigning time. My parents have both moved into adult care facilities. I lost a custody battle for my daughter and she now lives in Italy with her mother. “American Idol” ended before I could audition. My campaign email has been hacked and I no longer have access to your letters or correspondences I have been getting from Nigerian princes. (It seems that my campaign is popular in Nigeria.)
I was considering suspending my campaign for the rest of the election cycle until I heard that Donald Trump was the presumptive nominee of the Republican Party. It also looks like that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic Party candidate.
I am looking for places to campaign. If you know of a rally, bar mitzvah, or memorial service looking for a speaker, feel free to correspond.
The new updated contact information will be posted providing that I remember the email address or phone number. I don’t email or call myself often enough to know those things by heart. At least I know my address (but only because Papa John’s keep asking for it when I order pizza to be delivered.)
Tell all of your friends and 3/4 of your enemies that my campaign is back and running on full steam. It’s sad that America needs me to run as desperately as she does, but I am up for the task.