I Have Won the 2012 Elections!

I have taken a bold step in declaring myself the winner of the 2012 elections before any vote has been cast.  The philosophy is simple:  declare yourself the winner, especially if you are losing.

It started with Norm Coleman declaring himself the winner in the Minnesota Senate race and going to court to try to prove it.  He did this despite having fewer votes than Al Franken.  More recently, Jim Tedisco tried to declare himself the winner with fewer votes than Scott Murphy in New York’s 20th Congressional District race.  This was the district vacated by Kirsten Gillibrand when she was appointed Senator after Hillary Clinton left to become Secretary of State.

I will go to court on Monday and present my case to the court.  I have the most blog hits of any declared candidate for office.  If the court agrees with me, it will save the country millions of dollars in election costs.

My Minnesota Solution

Senatorial candidates Al Franken and Norm Coleman have been in the courts fighting over who should represent Minnesota in the Senate.  Minnesota will have one less representative to represent them until this is settled.  I suggest that Governor Tim Pawlenty choose Ahmnodt Heare to represent the fine state of Minnesota until this dilemma is resolved.

It’s not like I have never been to Minnesota.  I am often in Minneapolis- St. Paul International Airport on a layover between flights.  I have watched former Governor Jesse Ventura wrestle on several occasions.  I feel a genuine connection with Minnesotites.

I will fight for Minnesota the moment I fight in Washington.  I will fortify the border with Canada and with Wisconsin.  I would encourage global warming in the winter.  I will bring affordable entertainment to Minnesota.

Governor Pawlenty, please consider the lack of representation your fine state currently has and choose me to represent Minnesota.  I thank you and I would be honored.