Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Government Shutdown

The way President Obama is handling the “government shutdown” is but another example of why I would have been a better president than him.  Below are some reasons why:

  • Only “Non-essential” services are shut down.  The question isn’t what is essential but who decides what is essential.  I would have shut down the IRS, but not because everybody hates it.  I would shut it down to send a message to Congress that neither they nor I will get paid as long as there is a shutdown because there is no revenue being collected.
  • I’d keep the national parks open because people need to get out more.  By  the time this shutdown is over, it will be too cold to enjoy the parks.
  • The NSA is working as normal.  Nobody at the NSA really likes me (except the guy in the corner cubicle who always like to start a ruckus.)
  • I’d not only close the Bureau of Wild Horse and Burro closed during the shutdown, I’d close it permanently.  I hope the five people who own a wild horse or a burro understand that the 300,000,000 Americans who don’t own one feel that a federal agency isn’t really necessary.

If you cannot afford a prostate exam, the TSA will perform one for you at no additional charge if you plan on flying on an airplane.

UPDATE: The move has been delayed by a week.  The official activity will return on Columbus Day.  (Thanksgiving Day in Canada)

October 1, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Too Tired to Blog

I was going to blog today about something in the political world, but I am too tired.  It doesn’t help that I forgot what I was going to blog about.  I wasn’t going to blog even if I did remember because I am tired.

I wasn’t going to blog about the NSA because everybody else already has.  I have nothing to add about the NSA or about Whistleblower Edward Snowden that  hasn’t already been blogged about.  The NSA reads this blog, and I don’t want to tick them off and have them listen to my phone conversations.  I don’t have a Verizon phone, so I am safe for the time being.

There will not be any writing about the upcoming elections this year in New Jersey.  It’s bad enough the election for governor is five months away.  Both Chris Christie and Barbara Buono are already running ads.  There is also the primary election (August) and special election (October) for the US Senate seat to replace the late Frank Lautenberg.

I haven’t slept too well these last few nights.  Tomorrow will be a better day to blog (assuming I have electricity as heavy thunderstorms are expected here.)

June 12, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, politics | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Adding Security Features

I have decided to add encryption features on my computer, my cell phone, and my Speak and Spell.  I can not afford another episode like the hacking episode last May.  My campaign continues to grow and my opponents are now beginning to notice.  While I don’t have the NSA to encrypt my communications like one of my opponents, I will have top-notch encryption.

The encryption will work like this:

If I type something like:

My campaign schedule will bring me to Kansas, Michigan, and Oregon.

The encryption will look like this:

jghgfhgghfghjgahmnodtheareisastudnmmnbcvxfgfhj

I will continue to step up and meet the challenges of my opponents and of America.  I thank you for your continued support.

January 28, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

   

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