Ahmnodt a Ladies Man?

I don’t consider myself to be a sex symbol, but it seems lately ladies can’t stop talking about me.  While I am flattered about my new found status, some of my opponents have already taken swipes at me because of it.

Below is a segment of a chat room conversation submitted by a supporter.  Pay attention to the last line.   Names have been altered to protect the supporter.

Dec 29 2010, 7:55 PMJoeSchmoe: Luke Rudkowski…is Single
Dec 29 2010, 7:55 PMAhmnodtNo1Supporter (guest): So is Ahmnodt Heare
Dec 29 2010, 7:55 PMJaneDoe (guest): if I was only 20
Dec 29 2010, 7:55 PMJaneDoe (guest): I had a dream about him like 2 weeks ago..I woke up so guilty lol

I am guessing this type of chat is all over the internet.  Sarah Palin took a swipe at me because of it:

With all of this excitement over me, one would have thought one of these ladies would have volunteered to do an “Ahmnodt Girl” video like the “Obama Girl” video that came out in 2008. Please e-mail your submissions to ahmnodtheare@politician.com.

I will let you decide for yourself.  Below is my most recent picture taken last week:

Sex symbol

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Campaign Goals for 2010

2008 – 11752 total hits (36.725 hits/day)

2009 – 45062 total hits (123.45 hits/day)

2010 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals for the campaign for 2010.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican).
4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)

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With your continued help and support, “Ahmnodt Heare” will soon be as common a household name as Lysol.  Think of me as the Lysol of bad ideas.  I kill them when presented to me like Lysol kills germs as soon as contact is made.  Tell two friends today about my campaign.  Thank you.

Campaign Goals for August

The following are some goals I have set for the campaign for the month of August:

1. Averaging 150 unique hits per day on this website.
2. At least 10 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign. (Currently at 5, plus a poll for President)   A few blog entries from other sites have been deleted.
3. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
4. At least one national television appearance (broadcast or cable)

Notes about the goals:   Goal 1 is difficult, but can be accomplished.  Goal #2 can be accomplished if people don’t delete their websites and blogs after writing about my campaign.  I don’t know if this is a coincidence or if the deletions are being done by my political enemies like the Cinemafia. Goal#3 can be done by having a female uploading a video to YouTube and declaring herself an “Ahmnodt Girl”   I will need your help making #4 possible.  It seems I don’t have the media prowlness required to get myself on television.

I have a lot of work to do to make these goals happen.  This means limiting watching “Wheel of Fortune” to weeks that are “special.”  I will also have to quit watching the “SpongeBob SquarePants” marathons every weekend.

Ahmnodt Girl

I have been looking for over a year for somebody to be the Ahmnodt Girl in the “Ahmnodt Girl” video.  Although I haven’t asked her yet, based on what she was wearing, I’d think she’d be willing to do the video.

The problem the campaign is having is getting a hold of this woman and asking her to appear in the video.  People will soon forget about Obama Girl.

2009 Campaign Goals – First Quarter Results

1. Averaging 250 unique hits per day on this website.
2. 25,000 results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.
3. At least 10 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
4. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
5. At least one national television appearance (broadcast or cable)

The first goal is going along smoothly.  Although the current average for 2009 is only 126, there have been a few days with over 250 hits.  I can see this being a more common occurance as the year goes by.

The second goal is interesting.  It seems that Google has removed a bunch of search results.  “Ahmnodt Heare” has 7,610 hits.  It was over 15,000 the other day.

We are halfway towards the third goal.  One problem I have discovered is that one website no longer exists.

Goal number 4 baffles me.  This has always been a goal, but it seems that women don’t want the fame and admiration associated with being an “Ahmnodt Girl.”

The last goal is going to be a bit difficult.  The media is still orgasmic with a Democrat in the White House.  If either John McCain or I were to have won the election, the media would have been looking for the Democratic replacement on January 21.

I feel optimistic about reaching all the goals by the end of June.  I may have to do the “Ahmnodt Girl” video myself.

Looking for Model for “Ahmnodt Girl” Videos

“Obama Girl” became popular last year for appearing in videos supporting President Obama’s campaign.  You can enjoy the same success she did by making an “Ahmnodt Girl” video.  Although I generally enjoy nude videos, I ask that models wear clothing as children and old people will be watching the videos.

I regret that i cannot offer compensation for your work.  Just think of it as doing your part for America.