Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The Ahmnodtophobic Media

The media fears me, my campaign, and my supporters.  The few mentions I get from the media make no mention that I am running for President of the United States.  They try to make it like my occupation is Horse-and-Buggy assembly line worker or some other obselete job.  More often than not though, they choose to ignore me.  This is especially true in issues where I am stronger than either Obama or Romney.

Here is your chance to prove me wrong.  You can try one or more of the following ideas:

  • Email a letter to the editor of your local newspaper.  The letter should include why you support (or disdain) my campaign.  Please also include the link http://tinyurl.com/ahmnodt with your letter.  (The link is the shortened url for this blog.)
  • Call a political talk show.  If the host is talking about a specific topic, tell the call screener why I am better at that issue than any other candidate.  If the topic is about Obama or Romney, tell him or her why I am a better candidate.  If it is about a debate, insist that I be allowed in future debates.
  • Go to a local “Occupy” protest or a riot and carry an “Ahmnodt Heare for President” sign.  Try to get a media photographer to take a picture of you with the sign.  If that doesn’t work, get a blogger to take a picture with his or her phone.
  • Call a press conference.  Call your local media outlets and announce that you will be holding a press conference at a specific time.  Announce that you will be endorsing and voting for Ahmnodt Heare in the upcoming election.  If they ask for contact information, tell them my contact information is in my blog.

If you get mentioned in the newspaper please scan the mention and e-mail the file to ahmnodtheare @politician.com.  If it is on the web, please e-mail me the link or share it in the comments section below this blog entry.  Thank you for continued support.

October 1, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, endorsement, humor, media, Obama, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Ahmnodtophobic Media

Occupy Pennsylvania Avenue

This puzzle is supposed to say "Occupy Wall Street." But occupying Wall Street is puzzling when the laws are written on Pennsylvania Avenue.

I support free speech.  That being said, I have a problem with Occupy Wall Street.  It’s not so much that Wall Street is being occupied as it is that the wrong street is being occupied.  We should be occupying Pennsylvania Avenue.

Wall Street does not write laws.  They only buy people to write laws for them.  The people who write the laws that benefit Wall Street more than Main Street work on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington.  They are the ones that Wall Street buys through “lobbying”, which is not to be confused with bribery (when you or I do the same thing.)

It was Congress and the Presidents (present and former) who have allowed money to get involved in politics.  It was them who allowed  banks to get the power and money they must enjoy.  Wall Street won’t change things just because we want them to change things.

Washington is currently talking about cutting the budget.  While I agree the budget is too big, it’s where the cuts are going to take place that concerns me.  The budget cuts are going to go towards social programs, but not administration of government (which is the largest cost of government.)  There are no plans to check into why it costs so much to run a government office.

Pennsylvania Avenue is pretty long.  We will need a lot of people to occupy it.  Together we can right this country.

November 17, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, change, commentary, editorial, issues, legislation, politics, satire, Wall Street | , , , , , | 4 Comments

I Win a Straw Poll

I am proud to announce that I have finally won a straw poll.  Depending on how one interprets the results, I either won handily (66.67% of the votes cast) or by one vote.  Final Results of the R.U. Heare* Household Poll:

HEARE: 2 votes

CAIN: 1 vote

For some reason, my father did not vote for me.  (He voted for me in 2008 while my mother voted for Barack Obama).  My parents never vote for the same candidate.  My father is a staunch Republican and my mother is a tree-hugging liberal.  But there is more to their relationship than politics.   They both enjoy art, watching game shows, and tormenting me.

I should mention that the reason why I am in Washington and not home working is because of holidays.  My latest client took a couple days off because he is Jewish and will be observing Yom Kippur tomorrow night.  Monday is Columbus Day, when we Americans celebrate the birthday of a guy who got lost four times.

I am hoping to gain some support for the “Occupy Pennsylvania Avenue” rally I want to start this weekend.  While “Occupy Wall Street” has good intentions, it won’t be able to accomplish much because Wall Streeters don’t write laws.  They only pay guys to write the laws for them.  “Occupy Pennsylvania” will go right to the sources – the people Wall Streeters are paying as well as the President and the Supreme Court.

Things need to change and they need to change as soon as possible.  America cannot afford to wait until you vote for me.  We can’t wait for the guy who people voted for to deliver that change either.  He has had almost three years and there hasn’t been much change.  We have to bring the change because as long as the powers that be are being well off for not changing, they’re not going to change.

*R.U. Heare is my father, Robert Ulysses Heare.

October 6, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, change, commentary, editorial, humor, Obama, politics, voting | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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