Why I Love Oprah Winfrey
I have to admit that I am still in a vacation mindset and have not been focusing on the issues as much as I should have. While I was skimming the news websites looking for something to discuss, I stumbled upon this article from the New York Post.
I have been a big fan of Oprah Winfrey for a long time. I watched many of the Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil episodes. I belong to the “Book of the Month” club. I have even named my first cat “Harpo” after Oprah’s production company.
Oprah has always showed her good side, and for that she has become an American icon. Now that she will be producing a kinky-sex series on HBO, I can’t help but want to get to know her better. She isn’t June Cleaver, but June with a cleaver.
I have to stop writing now. I am getting excited just thinking about the possibilities!
A Couple of Differences
I am still at the Ashram and will be here for another week. Finding time to sneak off the commune and blog is difficult. I am getting used to being here, but there are a few differences.
- The people here like Deepak Chopra. I like a Six-Pack while watching Oprah.
- While we both hate the Cinemafia, they hate all movies (though a few people like “Bollywood” movies, whatever that is.)
- I do not find yoga to be relaxing. I have a difficult time getting from one position to another. I often find myself in the fetal position after the yoga class.
- I have a hard time putting on a robe. I have a harder time taking off my robe. I find it almost impossible to take a robe off a woman here.
- They eat blackberries. I talk and text on a Blackberry.
They are pretty nice people (except for the guards with the guns.) I enjoy the reciting of the sayings of Yogi Berra. Yesterday’s saying was “If you don’t know where you are going, you might not get there.” Yogi Berra is an enlightened man.
Obama Endorses Ahmnodt Heare
Looking at the picture, I think the endorsement shocked Michelle Obama. I thank the Senator for his change of heart for running for President.
What My Cabinet Would Look Like
NOTE: Some are left blank. Be sure to check this page often as I fill my cabinet.
President: Ahmnodt Heare
Vice-President: Peasant Tim
Secretary of State: Oprah Winfrey
Chief of Staff: Olivia Wilder
Press Secretary: Tim Sharpe
Secretary of Commerce: Paris Hilton
Secretary of the Interior: Martha Stewart
Secretary of Energy: Matthew Lesko
Secretary of Defense: Mike Singletary
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Jack Kevorkian
Secretary of Education: George W. Bush
Secretary of the Treasury: Dennis Kozlowski
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
The World Cup and my Campaign
My primary campaign stop today will be watching the World Cup in a local bar. Many people reading this will wonder why watching soccer (or football for people outside of the US and Canada) wondering how the World Cup can be part of a presidential campaign. the reason is simple: It ties in with my Affordable Entertainment Awareness campaign, which is a cornerstone of my platform.
While getting World Cup tickets, flying to South Africa, and getting hotel accommodations cost a lot of money, the price of watching it on TV at home costs zero dollars and zero cents (plus applicable taxes). I will be watching it at a local bar. The price of the two beers and a burger will be the same whether the bar was showing the World Cup, Oprah Winfrey, or nothing at all. In many places, this will not cost much.
Going to a movie can cost an arm and a leg if one brings a date. Two tickets, two large soft drinks, and two large popcorns or candies can cost $50. And unlike sporting events that are shown live on television, movies take a long time from the time it is shown in theaters to the time it is shown at home.
I will not be campaigning during the game. I will campaign before the game and after the game. If the USA wins, people will be more receptive to my campaign. GO USA!
Watching the World Cup on TV costs less than going to the movies.
P.S. For those of you in South Africa who are going to the US-Ghana game, this is suggested reading.
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June 26, 2010 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, entertainment, Platform, satire | Ghana, movies, Oprah Winfrey, popcorn, soft drinks, South Africa, World Cup | Comments Off on The World Cup and my Campaign