Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Sneaking Up on Me

Election Day is less than a month away.  I hadn’t given it much thought because I moved within a month of Election Day and am ineligible to vote.  I’m not running for office this year, so there isn’t this “last-minute” campaigning that I usually do when after four years of campaigning I am still polling in the single digits.  (By “single-digits”, I mean single-digits of votes and not percentage of votes.)

For those who are new to the campaign, “Orgies for Abstinence” is a movement I started in 2009.  This event takes place twice a year.  The first one occurs the Friday after Easter.  This allows people who swore off abstinence for Lent to get back to their ways.  The second happens on Election Night.  This allows Americans feel what is like being a politician feels towards the people.  “Orgies for Abstinence” is just like fighting for peace.  Since politicians love the latter, it should make sense that they would like the former.

I haven’t planned an “Orgies for Abstinence” and it is unlikely that I will be able to plan one with the awesomeness that people expect from my Orgies for Abstinence campaigns.  I do plan on partaking on the festivities providing there is one happening on the Delmarva peninsula.  There is too much happening in my personal life (Taking care of my parents, looking for a business niche to fill, walking the dog every day, and finding a dominatrix who uses safe words I can pronounce.

October 11, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, humor, Personal Life, politics, Poll, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Sneaking Up on Me

Running Mate Needed (Again)

I have received an e-mail from my 2012 running mate Albeeee Thayer today saying that he would be unable to run as my running mate.  He wants to expand his business and campaigning would take time away from that.  He did wish me well and said he would continue to campaign for me when he has the time.  He also wanted to send a note for anybody in the Abilene, TX area that he will host future “Orgies for Abstinence” rallies in his home starting with the next one on April 5, 2013.

I will be changing my e-mail address soon.  There seems to be a lot of people sending e-mail to me at my current address who say that they get a message that my address does not exist.  The spammers all seem to find it and I do get e-mails from many supporters.  I will have a new address soon.

Don’t forget to check my livestreaming of “How to Hang-Glide off a Fiscal Cliff” tonight at 8:30PM Eastern /6:30PM Mountain time.

December 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, humor | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Thank You for Your Continued Support

I was asked by one of my neighbors yesterday why I was running for President.  She noted the usual reasons why one would think it is not worth it to run:  No press coverage, no invitations to debates, not getting the same discounts for lap dances that politicians get, etc.  I told her that it is because there is a large segment of people who would rather see me in the White House than any Republican or Democrat.  Below are some photos posted on websites of supporters:

Browns fan from Shaker Heights, OH

How a supporter envisions what Mount Rushmore will look like in ten years after I serve my two terms.

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A couple of very nice ladies preparing for Election Night and “Orgies for Abstinence VI”.

I would like to thank John for finding these photos and sharing them with the campaign.  If you have any campaign photos you like to share, feel free to send them to me and I’ll give you a shout out in a future blog entry.

October 24, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, endorsement, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | 3 Comments

Internal Squabbling

I held a meeting this morning with my campaign team.  It was supposed to be brief, but there seems to be friction in what direction the campaign should go.  I finally got to meet my running mate met Albee Thayer today.  Although he is an ass, he would still be a better vice-president than either Joe Biden or Paul Ryan.

The first thing the team squabbled about was how to get additional exposure.  I had suggested that Albee Thayer get his own BlogTalk Radio show, WordPress Blog, and UStream channel.  He preferred to maintain his course of writing letters to newspaper editors why Americans should vote for the Heare/Thayer ticket though none of his letters have yet to be published.

There are some on the team that suggest I start throwing money into the campaign.  I had thought about buying some ads, but Albee reminded me that most of my supporters are voting for me because I have refused to throw money into the campaign.  He said he has spent no money on my campaign but did help get some ads for Noes Toiaqui’s campaign when she ran for President of Mexico.  (The one drawback with those ads was they were in English.)

The last issue was where to hold the Election Night party.  I will be at the Legends Resort partaking in the semi-annual ” Orgies for Abstinence” awareness program.  There are only 50 days until Election Day, meaning it’s only 51 days until the 2016 Election cycle begins.

September 17, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Internal Squabbling

Orgies for Abstinence – Election Night Special

If you think America is going to get screwed on Election night, here is a chance for you to choose who gets to screw you.  You may not get the person you chose to screw you on Election day, that’s one reason why there’s Orgies for Abstinence.

There is another purpose.  The purpose is to spread abstinence throughout the land through wild orgies.  The United States government has been able to spread peace throughout the world through bombing and wars for years.  Orgies for Abstinence is an event I created to show people that I can think like a politician.  I realize that there is more to getting elected than looking like a stud.

A rare picture of Ahmnodt Heare taken on the campaign trail.

Things are slowing down a bit and I should be resuming blogging regularly until Tuesday before I go on my next campaign trip from Wednesday through Sunday in the Cape May, NJ area.

July 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, politics, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

Starting From Scratch

Preparations are now underway for Orgies for Abstinence V.  I thought I had pamphlets left over from Orgies for Abstinence IV, but I do not.  I couldn’t find a copy on my hard drive or on any USB drive or CD-Roms.  These pamphlets are a vital part of bringing abstinence awareness at orgies.  Without them, it will be like any other Friday night.

i went through search engines hoping to find a template for abstinence.  I couldn’t find a template, but I did find a Christian organization that was selling pamphlets.  This cannot do.  Abstinence information is too important to sell.  This information should be available for free.

I will be volunteering next weekend for the “Condoms for Cousins” campaign up in the mountains.  I am hoping we can get enough condoms so I could have some of what is left over for the “Orgies for Abstinence” campaign.

Critics in the past have asked my why do I need condoms and Viagra to promote abstinence.  It is fair and valid question.  The answer is the same reason why the military uses guns, bombs, and tanks to promote peace.  Sometimes you have to do what is against your beliefs to get to the point where you can abide by your mores.

The formatting for pamphlets will make it impossible to post it here, but when I am finished, I will provide a link to where you can print it in WYSIWYG format.

February 28, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, issues, politics, War | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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