Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Normalcy Postponed

I was hoping to return to what my life was before Hurricane Sandy came here.  The aftermath from Sandy included traffic problems, gas rationing, and sporadic phone service.  I was only in the dark for four hours but the restoration of power fried the motherboard in the computer I was using.  (My campaign manager’s backup laptop).

Not only did Hurricane Sandy and the gas rationing and long gas lines hamper my campaigning severely, it caused me to skip the Orgies for Abstinence as well as what was supposed to be the opening of a “Habitat for Hotties” complex in Point Pleasant Beach.

Then there was my vacation in Virginia and Thanksgiving at my parents’ home in Washington, DC.  I returned home Sunday night only to find an eviction notice on my door.  I found a place to rent and paid the security and deposit.  I was ready to move in yesterday only to find out that the people who were moving out hadn’t moved out.  They were going to move out today, but the snow has postponed it until tomorrow.

I am currently on my laptop working from my car parked in a McDonald’s parking lot.  My fingers are numb and the roads are slippery. The nearest hotel is on the other side of the mountain and my car  does not climb mountains very well when it’s snowing.  (Nor on bright sunny days.)  I hope to be able to move tomorrow.

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November 27, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Orgies for Abstinence V

The United States have historically fought wars for peace. It must be working because we have been doing it for years. It is in this spirit that I believe we should promote abstinence through orgies.

Certain events prevented me from planning the last two “Orgies for Abstinence”, which could explain why they went so well.  I am back and want this to be the best ever!  Official “Orgies for Abstinence” events are held twice a year:

  • The first Friday after Easter – This assures that all those who had chosen to give up abstinence for Lent to participate.  (April 13 is the Friday after Easter in 2012.)
  • Election Night – This is an activity that allows Americans what it is like to be a politician.

I am a firm believer in abstinence.  The government has been saying that the “War on Drugs” has been working and that wars in the Middle East will bring a lasting peace.  It is in this spirit that I started the “Orgies for Abstinence” movement.  As of right now, there are 45 days until Orgies for Abstinence V.

Historically, I have involved myself with women who have been gung-ho for abstinence.  This is even after the alcohol I had given them.  They’re not giving in whether I am playing Barry Manilow, Barry White, or Betty White.

You can host your own event as many have in the past.  I have had them in hotel rooms in the past, but this year I will host it at my place.  If I want to drive a message home, it only makes sense that I drive it to my home as well as other places.

February 27, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Orgies for Abstinence III

The next “Orgies for Abstinence” will take place on Election Night across the United States.  The ideal place to hold an event is at a hotel that is hosting an election party.  Many politicians fully embrace the orgy concept to their constituents.

I will be posting more information including the abstinence literature you can hand out during your orgy.

I will be at the Marriott in Pittsburgh as it will be a stop along the way for the Walk-a-Thon for affordable entertainment awareness.

September 15, 2010 Posted by | campaign, election, Platform | , , , | 2 Comments

Thank You, Congressman Mark Souder!

I am saddened to hear that Congressman Mark Souder is resigning because of an alleged affair he had with his mistress Tracy Jackson.  He was one of the few members of Congress who had any enthusiasm for the “Orgies for Abstinence”  events I had organized last year.  He even went out of his way to make a promotional video promoting abstinence to show to others:

If Congress Souder had one fault, it was that he seemed to be too enthusiastic about “Orgies for Abstinence.”  He should have invited his wife, but opted to invite a staffer instead.

I thank Congressman Souder for his contribution and wish him the best of luck in his endeavors.

May 18, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire, scandal | , , , , | 6 Comments

   

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