Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Campaign Goals for 2011

2008 – 11752 total hits (36.725 hits/day)

2009 – 45062 total hits (123.45 hits/day)

2010- 35037 total hits (95.99 hits/day)

2011 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals for the campaign for 2011.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming 2012 primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)

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With your continued help and support, “Ahmnodt Heare” will soon be as common a household name as Lysol.  Think of me as the Lysol of bad ideas.  I kill them when presented to me like Lysol kills germs as soon as contact is made.  Tell two friends today about my campaign.  Thank you.

January 1, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, satire | , , , , , | 5 Comments

Update on Goals

I had listed a list of goals I wanted to accomplish by the end of 2010.  Despite the hard work that some of my supporters and I have done over the last six months, none of these goals are on target of being met.  Below are the goals I had mentioned in the beginning of the year:

2008 – 11752 total hits (36.725 hits/day)

2009 – 45062 total hits (123.45 hits/day)

2010 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals for the campaign for 2010.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

  • Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  • 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  • Enough write-in votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  • At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  • An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  • At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  • One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)
  • Below is the progress (or lack of) of each of the goals:

    1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website. – I missed this mark by miles.  May was my second worst month since before the 2008 Elections.  I am currently averaging only 87.3 hits per day and averaged only 65 hits in May.  The good news is that June was my best month thus far in 2010 and I averaged 101 hits per day and 150 hits per day over the last week.  I will need to average 428.5 hits per day for the rest of the year to meet this goal.  Please tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign and this website!

    2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600) The good news that this has almost doubled since January and I am now at 30,500 results.  The bad news is that I am nowhere near 1 million.  I’m going to need people to do #4.

    3. Enough ‘write-in’ votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican) – I am going to have to scratch this.  Many of my supporters are independents.  While supporters may be liberal or conservative, they are smart enough not to support the two parties who claim to support their ideas.

    4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign – To the best of my knowledge, there has been one blog mentioning me and zero blogs mentioning my campaign.  I will make a deal – If you dedicate a blog entry to me and my campaign, I will dedicate a blog entry to your blog and your mission.

    5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video. – Here is an open invitation for the ladies who got it to flaunt it for a good cause.  Even if you don’t got it, you can flaunt it for a good cause.

    6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable). – While I remain optimistic that this will eventually happen, I am not too sure it will be in 2010.  Requests to Rachel Maddow, Diane Sawyer, and Jim Cantore have yet to be answered.  I was to have an ad run on a cable public access show in Bend, Oregon, but that show was canceled before the ad got to air.

    7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!) – Did I ever pick a bad time to become monogamous!  I will sacrifice monogamy for the good of the campaign.  If you’re 18, female, and showered within the last two days, then send me an e-mail.

    There is much that needs to be done, but I will need your help (Especially with #7!).  Together, we can shake up “politics as usual.”

    July 1, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

       

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