Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Things Left Unsaid

A presidential candidate often gives his (or her) opinion on many subjects.  Not all subjects involve politics.  As important as it is for me to talk about the issues of the day, it is equally important to know when NOT to comment.

One of the things I cannot comment on while I am running for President is how awful drivers are here in New Jersey.  It is especially unwise to mention how bad New Jersey drivers are while I am still living in New Jersey.  So I will refrain from mentioning how often they tailgate.  Some of them are so close that I can tell the color of their eyes.  As a general rule, I don’t want to know anything about the appearance of the driver behind me.  Mentioning little things like they like driving in parking lots like they’re freeways is a no-no. The fact that they tend to think that directional signals are optional would be huge faux-pas.  I will not comment on how New Jersey drivers pay the highest auto insurance rates FOR A REASON!

For the reasons listed above, I will be keeping my opinion of how people in New Jersey drive to myself.


May 24, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Brain Farts

I am in Washington DC this holiday weekend with my parents and my daughter.  It’s my weekend for custody of my daughter.  I wanted to pick her up last weekend and have her in New Jersey for the week, but the school year has already started in Washington.  (It doesn’t start in New Jersey until Wednesday.)

I took my daughter to Nationals’ Park for the Nationals-Cardinals game this afternoon.  We were able to get pretty good seats considering the Nationals are leading the National League East and look poised to win the division.

My first brain fart happened during the “Presidential Race”.  For those not familiar with the race, The four presidents on Mount Rushmore (Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt) run around the stadium in the middle of the fourth inning during Nationals’ home games.  Teddy Roosevelt never wins.  I forgot that tidbit in betting the guy next to me.  He picked Abe Lincoln and for some reason, I picked Teddy Roosevelt.  Lincoln won and I lost.  The only bright spot is that my daughter said after the race, “Someday you’ll win the race and I’ll be rich because I will bet on you.”

The second fart was more serious.  The people in front of me were talking and I overheard them mentioning ways they would get exposure for themselves if they were running a penniless campaign like I am.  They had a bunch of very good ideas.  I forgot to write them down and I can’t remember any of them.  (I think one of the ideas involved kittens, but I forgot what was supposed to be done with them.)

The third brain fart was that I forgot where I parked the car.  Patricia and I spent a half hour trying to remember where we parked.  I usually park on the first base side because I usually sit somewhere behind first place in the nosebleed section.  I had forgotten that today I parked behind left field because the parking was a lot easier there than along the first base side.

I just spent the last five minutes looking at pictures of kittens trying to figure out how it can help my campaign, but I am stumped.  Time to take a Jack Daniels’ Brain Laxative and get the crap out of my brain so I can remember stuff.

September 1, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Brain Farts


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