Accessing the Damage

The 2012 election was a disaster.  Not just because Barack Obama won (it would have been a disaster if Mitt Romney, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Roseanne Barr, or Vermin Supreme won), it was a disaster because I did not win.  I received fewer votes than in 2008.  I couldn’t even win Saguache County, Colorado this time.

Much of my campaigning in the last month was hampered by my computer crapping out and by Hurricane Sandy.  And while the women at the nudie bar like me as a patron, I could not parlay that into them campaigning for me or for them getting out to vote.

The “Voter ID” laws also caused damage to my voting base.  Deceased people and zombies tend not to carry identification on their persons because they generally don’t need identification.Neither demographic drives so they don’t need to get a drivers’ licence.

My campaign’s exposure to the mainstream was also sorely lacking.  I received no television coverage other than the occasional apolitical tweet read on television.

My goal is to run another penniless campaign in 2016.  But if I can’t get any television exposure or trend on Twitter, then I will spend some money on the campaign.  There might even be a PayPal account for donations.  (I hate asking for money.)

There will be goals set soon and I will post them once I figure out how I am going to win in 2016.

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All About Meme

I am always looking for new and innovative ways to get publicity while maintaining a strict policy of taking money out of politics by not spending a dime on my campaign.  Aside from the one-time-only money bomb on the 31st of this month, there will not be a PayPal button or any other button for donations.  The other day I came across a meme maker called, “Quickmeme“.

For those not familiar with what a meme is, a meme is a picture with text added.  Icanhazcheezburgers.com was the first to have this function available (mostly to cats, dogs, politicians, and other animals.)  Popular memes include Keanu Reeves and the Dos Equis “Most Interesting Man in the World” guy.  I am honored to be a meme (though I had to get the ball rolling myself.)  Below is some of the memes I created:

Now you can create your own “Ahmnodt Heare” meme.  Just click the link, then click the “Add your own caption” button, and add your own caption.  You can either save the meme to your computer or with the other Ahmnodt Heare memes.  The memes are automatically saved so you don’t have to do any additional work once you create the meme.

Have fun!

What I Have Learned From Tim Tebow

Jets fans take heart. If you ignore the mechanics and look at the results, Tebow did lead a 1-4 team to the playoffs and did throw for 316 yards in a playoff game against a stingy defense.

Ahmnodt Heare for President

My father always says, “Whether you can or you can’t, you have to do it, so do it!”  the premise behind that thinking is that if you don’t dwell on thinking that something can’t be done, you will spend time thinking on how to get it done.  I see a lot of that in Tim Tebow.  He is hardly accurate throwing the ball and people question his ability to compete in the NFL.  He runs a lot for a quarterback, but he’s not very fast.  Despite these glaring shortcomings, he keeps winning.  But how?

I have been looking through Denver Broncos highlights and I watched the last couple games.  Here is what I have learned:

• He doesn’t give up – He is a firm believer of “It’s not over until it’s over,”  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” and countless other cliches that coaches tell their players.

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What I Have Learned From Tim Tebow

My father always says, “Whether you can or you can’t, you have to do it, so do it!”  the premise behind that thinking is that if you don’t dwell on thinking that something can’t be done, you will spend time thinking on how to get it done.  I see a lot of that in Tim Tebow.  He is hardly accurate throwing the ball and people question his ability to compete in the NFL.  He runs a lot for a quarterback, but he’s not very fast.  Despite these glaring shortcomings, he keeps winning.  But how?

I have been looking through Denver Broncos highlights and I watched the last couple games.  Here is what I have learned:

• He doesn’t give up – He is a firm believer of “It’s not over until it’s over,”  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” and countless other cliches that coaches tell their players.
• He has his team believing they can win (even with him at quarterback) and people tend to do more when they know their objective can be reached.
• He stays out of trouble (on and off the field) – He doesn’t do drugs, drink, or hang out at the mall or the library.  On the field, he doesn’t fumble, throw the ball to the bad guys, or do stupid things that hurt the team.

This is what I have learned:

• I gave up once, but I took back down and am preparing for the pitfalls I expect in the 2012 campaign.  I’m not going to win by doing things the traditional way.  This is why my campaign is unconventional – I am campaigning to my strengths.
• While I am not sure how many people think I can win, I do know many Americans think I am a better candidate than either Obama or any of the Republican candidates.
• I stay out of trouble (on and off the campaign trail) – I don’t take campaign money from big business (or from anybody else as is evident by the lack of a “PayPal” button on this website.)  And I only patronize legitimate nudie bars recognized by the law.

I wish Tim Tebow luck for the rest of this season as well as in his career.  I have already learned much from him and look forward to learning more.

The “Penniless” Campaign

Many of my critics claim that I have poor fundraising skills and that I will not become President because I do not have fundraising skills.  They say this because I do not have a “PayPal” link on my website for campaign contributions.  It is time to set the record straight.

The reason why I do not have a “PayPal” link on my website is because I am not accepting contributions.  I am not accepting contributions because I cannot be bought like other politicians can.  Running for President shouldn’t be about how much money one can raise.  it should be about how one can help the country get on the right track.

By not raising money and not spending money I don’t have, I am hoping to show that I am fiscally responsible.  Politicians raise millions for their campaigns because they love to spend.  That should not be what being a politician is all about.  Being a politician should be about the issues and character.  Even many of my opponents will tell you that I am a character.

I hope this is a satisfactory explaination of why I am not raising money.  If you have any questions, please leave a comment below or e-mail ahmnodtheare\@/politician.com.