Thank You for Your Continued Support

I was asked by one of my neighbors yesterday why I was running for President.  She noted the usual reasons why one would think it is not worth it to run:  No press coverage, no invitations to debates, not getting the same discounts for lap dances that politicians get, etc.  I told her that it is because there is a large segment of people who would rather see me in the White House than any Republican or Democrat.  Below are some photos posted on websites of supporters:

Browns fan from Shaker Heights, OH

How a supporter envisions what Mount Rushmore will look like in ten years after I serve my two terms.

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A couple of very nice ladies preparing for Election Night and “Orgies for Abstinence VI”.

I would like to thank John for finding these photos and sharing them with the campaign.  If you have any campaign photos you like to share, feel free to send them to me and I’ll give you a shout out in a future blog entry.

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People in my Life

Few things say more about a character of a man than the company he keeps.  The company I keep are some characters.  They are one’s steering committee in the platform called “life.”  Below are a few people who have been influential in my life:

• My parents – My father is a staunch Republican and my mother is a stubborn Democrat.  They have both been equally influential in making me an independent.
• My daughter Patricia – the inspiration in my running for President.  I don’t want her to have to think about being a celebrity sex-toy for a pedophile  Hollywood executive.
• Grandma Oudda – The only person I know who can add shallots to a dessert and still make it tasty.  She also believe I could fly when nobody else did.  (I found out later that I could not fly, but it’s still nice to have someone believe in my abilities.)
• Dave the homeless guy – Gave me valuable advice after college.  I keep his words like, “The people you’re trying to impress aren’t worth impressing” and “Don’t eat the yellow snow” in my heart.
• Holli Foxxx – A stripper at the nudie bar I go to –  She has taught me discipline.  She has taught me that no matter how long I see her naked, I will never parlay that into a sexual tryst.

There have been others who have been an influence in my life. (And not all of them were good influences.)  I doubt that either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney have had the potpourri of people who have been an influence to them that I have had for me.

Loyalty Test #gopdebate

I will look for people who are loyal to the American people.  It is more important than being important to me, the government and almost as important as being loyal to Vanna White.

The Thought Process of People

It is important to understand people.  I have a basic understanding of people, but there is something that still baffles me.  It wouldn’t bother me except that it does.  Once I understand why people do this, I will shave a strong enough understanding of people to convey my message in a manner that they will enthusiastically support.  What I don’t understand about people is their inability to drive three blocks to work during a snowstorm, yet venture out a half hour to drive to the gym I work out at.

I normally work out twice a day:  10-11AM and 3-4PM.  The gym is usually sparse during those time periods.  Treadmills are readily available and it’s easy to go from machine to machine without waiting.  Today was a totally different story.  I should have gotten the hint when there was a wait for the wristband gym members get when they first enter the gym.  The lockers were crowded with naked middle-aged bald fat men.  Every piece of workout machinery was being used.  Every treadmill, rowing machine, and other machine I don’t usually use was in use.  Even every urinal and stall in the bathroom was occupied. (The urinals on the gym floor were vacant, but I am too shy to use those.)

Here is what separates me from most people:  If I can’t drive to work, it’s because I can’t drive anywhere.   I’m not going to go on a 30-mile journey if I can’t drive down the street.  If the needs arises to travel a long distance for pleasure, I just call in sick and go drive.  (I don’t do this now because I work out of my home and I need the clients to survive.- I don’t get sick days.)

If you are one of these people who will go on a road trip after not being able to go on a two block trip due to snow, please tell me why you do it so I can better understand you.  And please go to a different gym.

Laundromat Blues

The biggest difference between my last house the house I currently own is that the that my current house does not have a setup for a washer and dryer (nor do I have the room for one.)  This means I do my laundry at the local laundromat.  The laundromat is in the middle of nowhere and the nearest bar is a mile past the police station.

The washers and dryers are quite old.  The only new parts of the machines are the mechanisms that collect money.  Most of the washing machines either do not have water coming out or do not spin.  A good portion of the dryers have no heat.

The people who frequent the laundromat leave much to be desired.  I am not just saying that because none of the patrons voted for me in 2008.  Not only were not any hotties, there weren’t many lukewarmies.  Even if the laundromat had a bar, I wouldn’t be approaching most of the women.  The women are closer to human than the men are.  The “groomed” men looked like they were extras in “Deliverance.”  I called the police about a creature I saw in there the last time I had to do laundry, but it turned out he is the cook at the local diner.

I combined the clothes from the machine that didn’t have a spin cycle with the clothes from the machine that didn’t have a wash cycle and threw them into dryers that didn’t have heat.  A half hour later I had wet, dirty clothes.  The clothes had to be washed by hand when I got home.  There are clothes drying all over my house.  There is clothing draped over every chair, the shower rod, the towel rack, toilet tank, entertainment unit, television, refrigerator, and kitchen cabinet.  I am hoping the clothes will be dried by tomorrow.

Attention Facebook Users!

There is a new page on Facebook you should check out!  It’s called, “100,000 People Who Think Ahmnodt Heare Would Have Been a better President”

We can get 100,000 people, but it starts with you.  Please join, and tell all of your friends and half of your enemies to join.  If you don’t want to join because you don’t think I’d make a good president, join because President Obama is doing a terrible job.  He is fighting the people’s wishes on health care and on the Cinemafia.  He might be offering change, but I have yet to see a 2009 minted coin.  He’s handing out the same old change.  That change is tainted with H1N1 from all of the people touching it looking for change.

Join the page today!  I will not spam your Facebook account or keep bugging you to be my friend.

Interview with Blogger Ahmnodt Heare | The Pakistani Spectator

via Interview with Blogger Ahmnodt Heare | The Pakistani Spectator