Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Sneaking Up on Me

Election Day is less than a month away.  I hadn’t given it much thought because I moved within a month of Election Day and am ineligible to vote.  I’m not running for office this year, so there isn’t this “last-minute” campaigning that I usually do when after four years of campaigning I am still polling in the single digits.  (By “single-digits”, I mean single-digits of votes and not percentage of votes.)

For those who are new to the campaign, “Orgies for Abstinence” is a movement I started in 2009.  This event takes place twice a year.  The first one occurs the Friday after Easter.  This allows people who swore off abstinence for Lent to get back to their ways.  The second happens on Election Night.  This allows Americans feel what is like being a politician feels towards the people.  “Orgies for Abstinence” is just like fighting for peace.  Since politicians love the latter, it should make sense that they would like the former.

I haven’t planned an “Orgies for Abstinence” and it is unlikely that I will be able to plan one with the awesomeness that people expect from my Orgies for Abstinence campaigns.  I do plan on partaking on the festivities providing there is one happening on the Delmarva peninsula.  There is too much happening in my personal life (Taking care of my parents, looking for a business niche to fill, walking the dog every day, and finding a dominatrix who uses safe words I can pronounce.

October 11, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, humor, Personal Life, politics, Poll, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Sneaking Up on Me

Tainted Polling Data

I was at a friend’s house last week when a polling company called his house and asked him who he wanted for President.  He replied by saying that saying my name.  The poll results were published in today’s local newspaper.  The poll showed President Obama getting 51% of the vote, Romney getting 46% of the vote and 3% going to “Undecided.”  There is a problem:  My friend’s opinion didn’t count.  He decided on somebody besides Obama and Romney, but people who decided for anyone besides those two continue to be disenfranchised.

I received an e-mail from a supporter in Wyoming who was also asked to take part in a poll.  She was only given the options of Obama and Romney.  She said that she was stern in saying my name.  The pollster replied by stating that the only choices allowed were Obama and Romney.  The pollster added in a condescending tone that they are the only two who have a chance to win.  She called the pollster names that I can not say here because my mother reads this blog.

I ran an experiment with polling not too long ago.  I would have written about it earlier, but I didn’t.  I took two polls asking different questions and getting different results:

  • When asked “Who do you want for President” and given the choices of Obama, Romney, Heare, Gary Johnson, Roseanne Barr,   Jimmy McMillan, or Nobody – President Obama and I are in a statistical dead heat.  (Obama got 49% of the vote while I got 31%, well within the 35% margin of error. )
  • When simply asked who they wanted for President with none of the options mentioned, I fared better edging Obama and Romney 32% with 31% each for Obama and Romney and Nobody getting most of the rest.  Gary Johnson got about a dozen votes and Roseanne Barr received one vote.  (The poll got her phone totally by random.)
  • When asked “If you were the only voter voting on Election Day and your vote decided who would be President, would you consider voting for Ahmnodt Heare?”, 87% said yes.

Another problem with polls (even my polls) is that they take a national picture and not one that goes by states and electoral votes.  With all of the problems and distortions in polling, I will not be mention polling results in the foreseeable future.  I will also not be partaking in any polls from pollsters because I don’t want to contribute to their distortions any more.

August 16, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Mellow Time

There isn’t much happening this week either on the campaign trail or on the work front, so I will be chilling this week.  Things are subject to change upon notice as things happen quickly.  Assuming nothing newsworthy happens this week, I will be doing the following:

  • Cull over polling data – I am more interested in polling data conducted by my campaign than by traditional sources because my campaign polls include me as a candidate in most of the polls.
  • Reassess my platform – Place more emphasis on stuff people are interested in  9like my position on abortion) and less emphasis on positions that people disagree with me on.  (I am not going to flip-flop, but rather hope that people who disagree with me on an issue look at the other issues that we agree)
  • Help people who have been hurt the most by the recession – I will be holding fundraisers for people who are no longer to offer caviar at their parties due to the cost of caviar and lost jobs.  People shouldn’t have to live in such a dire situation.

My “mellow time” seems like I will be doing a lot, but it’s really much less than what I have been doing.

May 8, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on Mellow Time

   

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