Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Allegations Confronted

The pressure is on the Obama and Romney campaigns.  They and their supporters have stopped at nothing to try to smear my campaign. Below are the allegations followed by the truth:

  • Ahmnodt Heare has been using performance-enhancing drugs – This is utterly false.  Polls from Reuters, Fox News, NBC, CBS, NY Times, The Onion, Wall Street Journal, and others both show Obama and Romney with substantial leads over everybody else.  I am not even mentioned in these polls.  If I was using these drugs, I would at least appear as a blip in the polls.
  • Ahmnodt Heare plans to buy a majority share in Diebold – If I had that kind of money, I would have spent it on ads and election officials.  Diebold is a multi-billion dollar company who does not accept Marlboro Miles as currency.
  • Ahmnodt Heare is planning an “October Surprise” – Well, duh!  Every campaign has an October surprise or two that they will use late in October to try to cripple opponents.  I will release mine on October 30.  (If I remember.)
  • Ahmnodt Heare has been registering dead people to vote – What I have done is not registering dead people to vote.  What I have been doing is getting dead people to get themselves to register to vote.   Many of the recently deceased are already registered to vote and now need only to show up to vote.

I will address other allegations as they develop.  (Except for the embarrassing moment I had with a mannequin in the dressing room at Kohl’s. – I dismiss that as a “youthful indiscretion” as I was younger last weekend than I am now.)

August 25, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Allegations Confronted

Wow!

http://www.click2houston.com/investigates/17671375/detail.html

Over 6,000 dead people have registered to vote in Houston this year. As more people register post-mortem, the Ahmnodt Heare campaign picks up steam.

If the media ever got around to ask the deceased, they would overwhemingly say Ahmondt Heare because I have been the only candidate campaigning in cemetaries.

October 10, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, issues, media, Platform, Poll, satire, write-in | , , , , , | Comments Off on Wow!

The 2028 Elections – Vote Now!

In the future, they will allow Internet voting for presidential elections.  You can vote for me in the 2028 election now!

Note:  Voting is now over.  Democrat Angelina Jolie won.  I did beat Republican Bobby Jindal for second place.

October 1, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, Poll, satire, write-in | , , , , , | Comments Off on The 2028 Elections – Vote Now!

September Polling Numbers

While many polls are currently showing Barack Obama leading in the polls, the Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign noticed a serious flaw with those polls:  Ahmnodt Heare was not mentioned as a candidate.  In the polls which include Ahmnodt Heare, the Independent Heare leads by a comfortable margin.  He has a huge margin among certain voting segments:

Hearing Impaired Prostitutes:  Heare 75% Obama 13% McCain 10%

Chess Players with Steriods addiction: Heare 68% McCain 15% Obama 7% Barr 6%

Actors who have played as extras in Science Fiction movies:  Heare 87% McKinney 10% McCain 2%

Deceased: Heare 58% Obama 39%

People who know somebody in Togo: Heare 63% Obama 15% Baldwin 14%

September 21, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, Obama, Poll | , , , , , , | Comments Off on September Polling Numbers

Clearing Up Rumors

I am not quitting my quest to be the next President of the United States.  I have had a few personal committments I had to take care of.  I run a business and in order to maintain that business, I have to tend to it from time to time.  I have a daughter that I have on weekends and two weeks during the summer.  And there is the time I consume being the head of the local “Hello Kitty” meetup group.

I have also been consumed by some issues in my campaign.  One of these issues is the plight of the humpback dolphin.  Once the pride of Lake Michigan, they have been wiped off the face of the earth due to a reckless oil spill.  It was the actions I took which helped me learned about the endangerment of other spieces, like the bottlenosed whale and the crying hyena.

I have decided to spend my next two radio shows discussing other things besides politics.  Tomorrow’s radio show will be about helping people who need advice.  I have already received some letters and will share them and give the advice on the show tomorrow.  The following Sunday will be my Christmas show.  After the long primary season the Democrats put us through, we need to celebrate.  I will play some music and tell some of the traditions held at the Heare residence.

Some people might of thought that I have quit because I have not been included in polls.  That is not true.  I figured I wouldn’t be included in many polls because of the connections pollsters have with the CineMafia.  If you’re polled and they ask you who you want for president, tell the pollster, “Ahmnodt Heare!”

June 21, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, election, Poll | , , , | Comments Off on Clearing Up Rumors

I Demand a Recount!

I don’t think I won the Pennsylvania Democratic Primary last night. But poll numbers were showing that I had 9% of the vote. Even if I didn’t end up with that much, I would at the very least have a couple of percentage points in the voting. It’s another sad day for Pennsylvania Democratic politics.

April 23, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Democrats, election, Obama, Poll, scandal | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on I Demand a Recount!

   

%d bloggers like this: