Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Limbo Week

This whole week has been weird.  It turns out my “eviction notice” wasn’t an eviction notice, but a notice to vacate the premises so the landlord can do some much needed work to the heating system and bathroom plumbing.  He would have reimbursed me for staying at a hotel.  The only problem is that I have since signed a lease with a condo nearby.  I am not currently under a lease where I am.

I am renting two condos, neither of which are fully habitable, but between the two of them, I have everything I need (except a free outlet for the inflatable doll.)  The place I have been living in has TV, internet, furniture,  (until the friends who promised to help me move the furniture last week move the furniture.)  The new place has gas for cooking, running water, and food.  Below is how today went for me (Bold for current condo, regular for condo which I will move into this weekend)

6:00AM – Wake up and walk the dog. Showered and made bacon and eggs for breakfast.

7:00AM – Watched the “Today Show”.  The diuretics I took in 2008 finally kicked in.

8:00 – Downloaded files I needed for work and took my laptop to the new place.

9:00 – Diuretics kicked in again.  So did laxatives.  Needed toilet paper.  Returned working.

12:00PM – Took my campaign manager out to lunch for his birthday.  We wend Dutch on the meal, but I gave him my Burger King crown.

1:00 – Returned working.  Needed to print out a project at 2:30.

5:00 – Finished working and cooked dinner.

7:30 – Watched “Wheel of Fortune” Microwaved popcorn and watched a movie.  Diuretics.  Changed pants and underpants.

10:00 – Blogged this entry and went to bed.  Hoping I don’t have to wake up at 2:00AM.

December 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Am Not The Only One

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-popcorn-lawsuit-20120305,0,3059649.story?track=rss

I thought I was the only person willing to fight the Cinemafia head-on.  People hate the Cinemafia, but don’t have the time or money to fight them.  I don’t have the money to fight them (or the $10 jaywalking ticket I got last night), but a man in Michigan does.  Joshua Thompson is my hero.

Joshua Thompson used to sneak his own food into a local theater unto the theater manager made a policy prohibiting food to be brought from elsewhere.  Thompson retaliated by filing a lawsuit against the theater for violating anti-trust laws.

The reason for the anti-trust lawsuit is simple:  The less competition there is, the more those in business can charge for a product or service.  Marijuana is so expensive because it is illegal and most people can only get their weed from one dealer.  The few people who can go to one dealer soon realize that all dealers get their stuff from the same CIA agent.

A large soda in a movie theater can cost $5 or more because people generally don’t bring soda from home.  And the few who did before the crackdown on home-brought colas will soon experience a spike in the cost of concessions.

I am the only presidential candidate who has offered a viable way to make both movies and concessions more affordable as demonstrated in this video I made in 2008.  The entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team wishes Joshua Thompson and all others fighting the Cinemafia.

March 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The World Cup and my Campaign

My primary campaign stop today will be watching the World Cup in a local bar.  Many people reading this will wonder why watching soccer (or football for people outside of the US and Canada) wondering how the World Cup can be part of a presidential campaign.  the reason is simple:  It ties in with my Affordable Entertainment Awareness campaign, which is a cornerstone of my platform.

While getting World Cup tickets, flying to South Africa, and getting hotel accommodations cost a lot of money, the price of watching it on TV at home costs zero dollars and zero cents (plus applicable taxes).  I will be watching it at a local bar.  The price of the two beers and a burger will be the same whether the bar was showing the World Cup, Oprah Winfrey, or nothing at all.  In many places, this will not cost much.

Going to a movie can cost an arm and a leg if one brings a date.  Two tickets, two large soft drinks, and two large popcorns or candies can cost $50.  And unlike sporting events that are shown live on television, movies take a long time from the time it is shown in theaters to the time it is shown at home.

I will not be campaigning during the game.  I will campaign before the game and after the game.  If the USA wins, people will be more receptive to my campaign.  GO USA!

Watching the World Cup on TV costs less than going to the movies.

P.S. For those of you in South Africa who are going to the US-Ghana game, this is suggested reading.

June 26, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, entertainment, Platform, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on The World Cup and my Campaign

My Message is Reaching the Entire World

It is sad that the United States is not the only country having to deal with the Cinemafia.  This is why I was pleased that an Israeli MP is planning to do something about it.  The “Yediot Aharonot” newspaper (Not to be confused with the Cinemafia-ran The “Idiot Ahmnodt” newspaper) is reporting that Likud Party MP Carmel Shama plans to introduce legislation that would make popcorn more affordable in theaters.

Shama said, “We have to put an end to this. The public should not have to mortgage their houses for a soft drink and a snack,”  I could not agree with him more.  I first mentioned this live-blogging one of the Obama-McCain debates.  It is refreshing to see not only my message resonating, but hopefully soon to be enacted.

March 31, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, entertainment, humor, legislation, politics, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Cinemafia Wants More!

It is bad enough the Cinemafia wanted to control what you watch.  Now they want to control what you eat.  They want you to eat “healthy.”  They suddenly care bout what you put in your body.  Don’t fall for it.  It is just a ploy to hide what they really want to do, which is to control what you watch, and sub sequentially, what you think.

We Americans might be gullible to pay $15 for a large tub of popcorn and a large Coke, but we’re not going to spend that type of money on a large tub of broccoli and a large prune juice.  We go to movies to be entertained, not to learn.  What’s next?  Treadmills instead of seats?  Spinning machines?

It is time for the Cinemafia to quit telling people how to live and gouging our pocketbooks and wallets in the process.  As President, I will make sure that the Cinemafia quits acting like evil brats and starts making quality affordable movies again.

March 17, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How a Slow Day Goes

I am taking this week off for two reasons.  The first reason is because the week between Christmas and New Year’s is not very productive.  People tend to be recovering from one holiday and looking forward to the next holiday.   The second reason is because few clients are looking for marketing projects in this time period.

I am also limiting campaigning this week.  It seems I do my best campaigning when I am busy with other things and running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Below is my schedule for today:

8:00 – Wake up, shower, get dressed, and walk the dog.  – Self explanatory for most people. For those who need more of an explanation, I will videotape the last two things I do on the list. I can’t videotape myself showering for legal reasons and I can’t videotape myself waking up because by the time I get the video camera, I am already awake.
9:00 – Walk to Staples – Staples is about 4 miles from here so it will take me about three hours to get there. I’m not a fast walker and I like to absorb the scenery.
12:15 – Arrive at Staples – I took mental notes of things I need for my office, like pens, paper, printer paper, and popcorn. I will buy these items later in the week when I drive to the store. I did buy a new GPS system. The old GPS was old and outdated. It had things like “Oregon Territory” on it. The new one I have has roads and bridges on it. It also updates itself and offers where gas stations and restaurants are.
3:00 – Stopped in the diner for a sandwich and a coffee. It was a slow time at the diner so there was nobody to talk politics with. One thing I noticed is the cook who normally wears a New York Giants cap was wearing a New York Yankees cap instead today.
4:30 – Arrived home – installed the GPS in my car.
6:15 – Walked the dog – just in time too as he pooped just past the bottom step.
6:40 – started writing this blog entry and ordered pizza delivery. I don’t like too many toppings so I limit myself to pepperoni, sausage, meatball, anchovies, chocolate chips and extra cheese.
7:30 – “Wheel of Fortune” – as if you didn’t already know why.

8:00 – Monday Night Football – Vikings at Bears – I will root for Minnesota because I don’t like Jay Cutler.

11:45 (approx. after football) – read and answer fan e-mail.

11:46 – Bed

December 28, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Proof that the Cinemafia is Price Gouging!

I owe a great debt to The Superhero Sam. Finally… a superhero who lives up to the “superhero” title.

December 10, 2008 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Proof that the Cinemafia is Price Gouging!

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