Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Vote for the Originator

Most people would rather have an original painting than a lithograph of that painting.  Many people prefer the original artist singing a song over cover versions.  I would guess that people would rather vote for the originator of good ideas over someone who copies those ideas.  Below is a history of ideas started by me that have been taken by others since I first ran in 2008:

  • I campaigned in Manitoba two weeks after I first announced my campaign in February 2008.  John McCain campaigned in Canada that summer.
  • July 2008 – I campaigned in Europe.  Soon after I came back, Barack Obama was there campaigning.  (Though he denies he was campaigning)
  • September 2008 – My computer was hacked.  Three days later, Sarah Palin’s emails were hacked.
  • I first proposed my tax proposal in February 2008.  The British Parliament tried to pass is that September.
  • I had reservations with Barack Obama’s birth certificate.  Not where he was born, (I think he was born in Hawaii.)  but when he was born.  (He was born in 1974 and thus was too young to take the oath of office as he was only 34 years old.)  World Net Daily asked that very question about his age in 2010.
  • I have a long history of campaigning in cemeteries (and recently morgues).  In May 2008, it was discovered that Jim Ogonowski (a candidate) not only campaigned in cemeteries, but got them to register to vote.
  • One of my first platform planks had to do with the “War on Poverty”.  New York Gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino stole it practically verbatim.

I was hoping 2012 would be different.  But it has already started.  It was reported that Democratic candidate for President Vermin Supreme stole a portion of my energy plan.  (The portion about gerbil turbines.  (He claimed he thought of it in 2008, but I didn’t hear of it then.)

The latest was a video (That was falsely labeled as Ron Paul supporters) that was negative about Jon Huntsman was supposedly put out by the Huntsman campaign.  I put out an anti-Ahmnodt Heare video first.

If you want a lithograph or a cover song, I am not your candidate.  (But feel free to vote for me anyway.)  If you are insistent on the original, then the only candidate worthy of your vote is the Original Ahmnodt Heare.

January 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

How I Would Cut Poverty in Half

One out of six children are currently in poverty in the United States. My solution would be to invite rich families in foreign countries to move to the United States. The more rich families move to the United States, the smaller the percentage of children will be in poverty.

April 13, 2008 Posted by | campaign | , , | Comments Off on How I Would Cut Poverty in Half

My Platform

Below is my platform. It is the result of nine months of extensive studying of the issues. Feel free to leave comments about my platform in the comments section. If you’re a candidate who wants to debate the issues or a hottie who wants to cuddle, I can be reached at ahmnodtheare@politician.com
  • Life begins at 40. This is the basis of my abortion platform. I would have quit smoking, but quitters never win.
  • War with Iraq is wrong. We should be fighting Canada for allowing William Shattner and Celine Dion to infiltrate our country.
  • I do not have a position on capital punishment. Oh well.
  • I am for gay marriage. Married people have less sex than single people. That will teach them.
  • The current tax code is too difficult. My tax code would involve all Americans sending in 100% of their income and having a mega party at Pacific Beach for all Americans.
  • My “Just say, ‘OK, but Just This Once’.” drug policy satisfies the curiosity people often have with drugs, yet offers an out before they get addicted.
  • Whoever crosses the finish line first wins. Everybody else loses.This is my view on race relations.
  • ”War on Poverty” can be solved by making poverty a crime. I would throw all the poor people in jail.
  • I would immediately cease all wiretapping operations. Video surveillance cameras would only be permitted on the hottest women.
  • Women have the fundamental right to use the utensils of their choice when cooking my dinner. Nobody shall infringe on a woman’s right to use the vacuum cleaner of her choice when cleaning my house.
  • I would observe Vanna White’s birthday as a national holiday, and not just because I am a VannaWhite supremacist.
  • I would repeal all laws that protect stupid people. Lord knows they’re not an endangered species.
  • Seniors should be allowed to eat healthier than Social Security allows. My plan for them would allow them to buy premium dog food at generic dog food prices.
  • I am for the separation of Church and State. If clergy were to become state employees, that would be yet another union that AFSCME would represent and soak taxpayers by demanding higher wages. They would all want Sundays off, which would close many houses of worship.
  • My position on global warming after spending time studying it is that it is warmer in the summer than in the winter. Global Warming and any possible nuclear holocaust can be eliminated in one easy step. Aim all our nukes at the sun and fire away!
  • I would abolish gun laws. I would also ban bullets.
  • Fundamentals in education is sorely lacking. I would prepare children for the adult world by teaching them how to talk their way out of speeding tickets and how to pass an employment drug screening.
If you have any questions feel free to e-mail me. ahmnodtheare@politician.com

February 15, 2008 Posted by | Platform | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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