Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

How to Keep Money Out of Politics

It’s simple enough to write in one sentence: “Don’t vote for the people putting money into politics.”  But since you want to read more than one sentence, I will milk this and go deeper in what I mean.

Over one billion dollars is expected to be spent on the presidential election with millions more on local, state, and federal elections.  All other parties combined will spend less than two million on all elections.  Ahmnodt Heare will not spend a dime on his campaign because he knows the only way to take money out of politics is to never put it in there to begin with.  (I wrote that sentence in third-person in case you wanted to copy it and paste it as your Facebook status or place it in a reply to someone else’s political posting.)

The bottom line is that if you want to take money out of politics, then you have to vote for me for President.  I am the only Presidential candidate I know of that is running a penniless campaign.  If you vote for anybody else, you are probably voting for someone who is putting money into politics.  This vicious cycle will continue until people like you (and you) start voting for people who don’t put money in politics.  I thank you for your continued support.

August 12, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Campaigning in Maternity Wards

I will be campaigning in maternity wards in hospitals in the New York and Philadelphia metropolitan areas the next two weekends.  The reason why I am choosing maternity wards is twofold: To better understand the needs of parents for the 2012 election and to plant seeds in newborns for the 2028 election.  It is the latter that compels me to spend the next two weekends at maternity wards.

Election Day 2028 will fall on November 7.  In order to be eligible to vote for the 2028 election, the voter must be born by November 7, 2010.  This is only a few weeks away.  Any campaigning in maternity wards after November 7 will be geared towards the 2032 elections (for the newborns).

My biggest fear in campaigning in maternity wards (especially to the newborns) is that I might be doing this in vain.  If I serve two terms between now and 2028, they will not have an opportunity to vote for me.  Unlike Michael Bloomberg, I do not have a City Council that can overturn term limits.  I can’t even ask Congress to do it.  If I run for a third term, it would require overturning the Twentieth Amendment of the Constitution.  I only want to be president for eight years at the most.  After serving as President, I can have a long and lucrative career as an ex-president.

I will be in full campaign mode the next two weekends as I kiss hands and shake babies.  I will be a candidate for the mainstream candidates to reckon with.

October 22, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

You Have Spoken

The results are in from the latest poll.  It was a tie between allowing my fellow anti-Cinemafia posters to spam this blog and not allowing any spammers at all.  I have decided to let the people speak.  This means not allowing my vote to count.

Because my vote does not count, there will be no spam approved, not even from the friendly folks fighting the Cinemafia.  While I would have liked to approve these spam messages, this is your website.  (I’m just the guy who does all of the blogging, editing, promoting, etc.)

Some other candidates hear you and want you to shut up.  Others do not hear you at all.  Not only do I hear you, but I encourage you to speak your mind.  How can a president do the people’s work if he (or she) doesn’t know the work the people want done?

While my critics might see this as a victory for the Cinemafia, there are many wars yet to fight.  Together, we will defeat the Cinemafia.

September 17, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, Poll, satire | , , , | 3 Comments

Beyond Numb

Somebody needs to explain this to me because I am at a loss of words as to how this could possibly happen.

If he becomes our the next president, then I will move to Canada.

March 5, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , | 4 Comments

President of Europe

“Ahmnodt Heare for America Europe.  Ahmnodt Heare for You.”

This is Europe’s chance to vote for me for leader of the “free world.”  If elected, I will get the entire free world united on things like foreign policy and the CineMafia.  I can get a lot done with a little or a little done with a lot.  This is how I show my flexibility.

When you vote for President of Europe, write in, “Ahmnodt Heare.”

November 11, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, politics, satire, write-in | , , , , | 1 Comment

State of the Campaign

We will vote for the President of the United States in 41 months and 3 days.  You are probably as disheartened as I am that although the talking heads are talking about potential candidates for President, the name “Ahmnodt Heare” is not being mentioned in the mix.

Here is my plan for the 2012 election:  Tell two people* about my campaign every month.  Make sure you tell the people you talk to that they tell two people every month.  Once people they tell tell two people, etc. over the next 41 months, then 268,435,456 people will know about my campaign.  Fewer than half that many people voted for all candidates for president in 2008.

Telling two people a month shouldn’t be too difficult.  And if only half of the people you tell vote for me, I will still have 134,217,728 votes.  This will be the most ever for any candidate for any office in American history.

* – Two people who have never been told before.

June 3, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on State of the Campaign

Why I’m Running for President

Some people might say I am setting my goals too high, but I’m not one of those people.  I see a Congress that is more than willing to save big business from failing but does nothing for small businesses like the nudie bar down the street from me.  I see a congress that wants America’s youth to volunteer while the only volunteering they have done is volunteer to  give themselves raises.

I see a president who says he wants to help the average America, but has done nothing about the affordability of going to a movie.  Movie prices have increased here recently as well as the price of refreshments.  I see a president who says he wants to fight terrorism, but has done nothing to prevent the likes of William Shattner and Anne Murray from infiltrating our country.

I see a Democratic Party that complained about “trickle-down” economics, but gave trillions to failed businesses with none of that money trickling down.  I see a Republican Party that claims to be fiscally conservative, but voted to fund a “bridge to nowhere” with a GOP Congress and President to a red state with Republican senators and a Republican governor.

This is why I am running for President as an Independent:  Because I get it.  I see that small businesses and families need help as much as big businesses and the Cinemafia.  I see that prosperity cannot exist when money is taken from people trying to prosper to people who have prospered and blew the money.  I see that people want ther bridges want to go from somewhere to somewhere else.

I can’t do this alone.  (Unless I took over via a coup d’ e’tat, which I can’t because government too too much tax money for me to fund that.  Besides, somebody might get hurt.)  I need your help and I will need your vote.  Because somebody has to look out for the average American.

March 26, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, change, cinemafia, commentary, debt, Democrats, economy, editorial, election, foreign policy, issues, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | 7 Comments

%d bloggers like this: