Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Natural Disaster Prevention Program

Many politicians have come up with plans on what to do after a natural disaster happens.  They have plans (or should) for such disasters like hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, New Coke, and blizzards.  I believe I am the only presidential candidate who has a plan to prevent these disasters from happening to begin with.  An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  (Especially with a weak dollar.)  Here are some of my prevention plans:

  • Hurricane prevention – The time to attack hurricanes is before it develops to a tropical depression.  Send a bunch of fans up in the air via weather balloon.  Point the fans into the wind, turn them on, and the wind from the fans will cause enough sheer to prevent hurricanes from developing.
  • Tornadoes – Tornadoes often form along a front, starting off as a thunderstorm.  As soon as it starts to become a thunderstorm, drop anti-static sheets into the clouds from above.  This will absorb enough power from the storm clouds to discourage further development.  The worst you will have is light rain with a slight breeze.
  • Earthquakes – I am among those who believe that earthquakes are caused by abnormalities that occur in orbit.  I would send satellites in space to monitor the orbit and send information of any abnormalities so they can promptly be taken care of.
  • New Coke – In my defense, I was only 12 years old when it came out.  Much to Coca-Cola’s credit, they soon realized what a fiasco they had and went back to something closer to original Coke.  (The only difference I noticed was that the sugar was replaced with high fructose corn syrup.
  • Blizzards –  I like them and don’t want to do anything with them.  The secret to enjoying a blizzard is to stock up on hot chocolate, chicken soup, alcohol, and marshmallows.  Make sure you are home before the snow starts so you don’t get stuck in it like I always did last year.

Instead of spending billions of dollars fixing things that break during disasters, we should spent a few dollars making sure disasters don’t happen.  This will save the economy and leave you with more money for booze and munchies.

March 2, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, environment, humor, issues, politics, satire | , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Aftermath

I didn’t quite make it home last night and I don’t know when I will be able to return.  Several roads are either flooded or washed out near my home so I am currently in Princeton, NJ.  My ability to get business done is limited until the flooding recedes tomorrow or Thursday.

While I am stuck here, I will be working on my hurricane, tornado, and earthquake prevention plans and present them Friday night on my podcast.  To the best of my knowledge, I am the only presidential candidate to offer plans that prevent disasters.

August 30, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio | , , , | 2 Comments

Health Insurance Reform

This is still a topic.  The way to make health care affordable is to cut costs, not to give health care industries more money.  I would focus on prevention.  I would grow apple trees because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.  It’s keeping the doctor away that will ultimately save money on health care.

January 27, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, health care, humor, satire, State of the Union 2010 | , , , | 6 Comments

Why I am an Independent

People often ask me why I am running for President as an Independent and not as a Republican or a Democrat. They often claim that I do not have a chance because I do not belong to either party.

Some reasons why I am not a Republican:

  • War: Republicans love to declare war on everybody (as long as their children don’t have to fight.) I believe war should be limited to the most extreme circumstances. (Like Canada.) They also believe that a soldier should be a soldier 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I believe a soldier should only have to be a soldier from 9AM to 5PM from Monday through Friday. They should have weekends and holidays off like everybody else.
  • Surveillance: Republicans believe that we should be spying on anybody who can be considered a national threat. I think that surveillance equipment should only be used on the hottest women and only in showers and bedrooms.

Some reasons why I am not a Democrat:

  • Bailouts: Democrats believe that we should bailout existing companies who are in trouble as a way to create jobs. I believe these are the last companies to go to for job creation. I have stated in the past that bailouts are better suited to go to companies who are either financially sound or no longer exist.
  • Health Care: Democrats believe that government should play a role by helping pay for health care for people who can’t afford it. I believe the way to make health care affordable is by cutting costs. I am a proponent of prevention. The only role government should play in health care is planting apple trees everywhere. An apple a day will keep the doctor away, thus saving on trips to the doctor.

The vision for America that Democrats and Republicans have is too different for me to join either party. I believe that I am not the only person who feels this way towards both parties. This is why I am running as an Independent.

October 7, 2009 Posted by | Afghanistan, Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, commentary, Democrats, economy, editorial, health care, humor, Iraq, issues, politics, Republicans, satire, War | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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